After nap Bean decided to bring many stuffed animals downstairs. She lined them up on the couch and told them stories, and then she lined them up on the floor and pretended they were watching television. There was one arrangement that caught my eye. I was feeling absurd, and this configuration of Piglet in Pooh’s arms reminded me of La Pietà.
Yes, perhaps I’m irreverent, but when you spend all day with a two-year-old I think there’s an explanation.
I asked this on my Facebook wall. I’m curious what my readers think.
Serious question: Am I doing wrong because I take surreptitious videos and photos of Bean? She loudly objects if she’s aware of me; she says, “That’s not nice!” I tried explaining why I do this — it helps family and friends stay connected to her. It’s also for remembrance when she’s older. Too abstract for her 2-year-old mind. So I do it on the sly. Yet she has a right to privacy too. Yes?
I feel jazzed at the moment. Out of the blue, yesterday I received a lovely, gracious email from a blog reader — someone who has lurked around here for three years — and it made my day. I haven’t been feeling inspired much to write lately. Hearing from someone that she has appreciated this little world I’ve created nudges me to make an effort. So here is a post.
I recently cleared out the office, which has been the art room and the overflow room. It was cluttered and hardly usable. I’ve now reorganized all the art and craft supplies and labeled the drawers. I know where stuff is and can get to it. The vacuum cleaner fits in the closet. Now it’s ready for me to mess it up again!!
For Christmas I was given a gift card to a sewing store to sign up for lessons. I was given a sewing machine last June for my birthday, but it hasn’t been used yet! Now that the desk is clear, there is room to set it up and try a project. Soon.
We were recently referred to a new realtor by a friend. If you’ve read this blog awhile, you know we’ve been searching for a decent, affordable house to buy in the Bay Area since last January. Husband has been researching online for much longer. We were using a do-it-yourself discount realtor company, and we saw dozens and dozens of houses. We nearly made offers on three. But they didn’t work out, and I was discouraged. I’d lost hope and interest by mid-year.
So we met with this new realtor, and we like her. She has knowledge and expertise and connections with other realtors. Once she is certain about what we’re looking for, she’ll preview properties for us. She’s sending us listings we would not have considered before, because her sense of how soft prices might be means we might be able to buy a house that’s priced higher and negotiate down to our comfort level. She has even made a video of one house she viewed as a way of trying new technology this year. I’m enthused again.
Last year was a year of learning about friendship — how fluid they are. One close friendship from 2008, with a mom I saw almost daily and spoke with on the phone at least as often, ended. There was a misunderstanding, then repair, then a transition on her part to another friend. I felt abandoned and replaced, and it hurt me deeply. It left me reeling, actually, for several months. I realized during this process that I had concentrated my well-being in one relationship to the exclusion of other mother friendships. Since then, I’ve made more effort and thus more friends for me and Bean. I feel connected to a wider community. When I see this person at play group events and parties, we always chat and I enjoy it; but the part of me that broke and let go has changed. Paths diverge. It’s all right.
In November, I had hoped a long-time friend from Austin would arrange to visit with me so I could introduce her to Bean during our visit. (We’d met in 1999.) I’d been close to her when her son was born; I was designated an “auntie.” After I moved, we drifted some and had less contact. She got more passionately involved in other pursuits in 2007 and stopped following through on the small gestures and actions that nurture a friendship. I was a little hurt by this, especially because there was no response to my baby shower or Bean’s birth — and months after her birth, the friend sent a small package of hand-me-down stuff.
Well, the visit didn’t work out, and she was very blasé about it, and I wrote her about how I felt. She conceded she’d dropped the ball and mentioned wanting to connect again, and she pointed out that I had seemed distant as well. I was encouraged and looked forward to responding and trying to reconcile. However, I didn’t reply to her email quickly enough. It gave her time to reassess that she really didn’t feel it was worth it. She decided to “un-friend” me officially from her life: off of Facebook and Flickr, off my blog, everything. She removed my blog link from her blog. I imagine she has purged my contact information. I hate to think what she might have done to the artwork I’ve made and given to her in the past. It was thorough and unilateral, and it first it stunned me. But then, I decided to let it go. If that’s what she needed to do, it’s her loss. Considering the way things were, it isn’t much of one.
Lastly, someone who found my blog a couple years ago became a reader and felt inspired to start his own blog. He is a wonderful photographer and has interesting insights on the politics of our day. As my offline life got busier, I have stopped commenting on most blogs that I read. For some reason, this person felt it important to send me an email with a subject line of “Farewell” and to inform me that he was removing me from his list of blogs on his blog, because I don’t comment enough for it to feel like an exchange. He wasn’t going to read my blog anymore. He assured me that he knows I’m busy with a wonderful child, and this wasn’t meant as a slap to me. Yet somehow, it did feel like a slap. I didn’t dwell on it long, but I was reminded how tenuous our online connections can be.
So my hope for this year is that I manage to nurture the community I have offline, maintain connections with far-flung friends, and revive my online presence a bit. Somewhere in there I want to read books, make art, knit, learn to sew, buy a house, and do fun things with my family. Well, sleep is overrated, anyway.
Happy new year everyone!
In 2009 I read many more books than one might expect a stay-at-home mother of a toddler to read. However, this came at the expense of physical fitness. Ah well, maybe 2010 will be more active. Then again, here’s my current stack. Only two books are holdovers from 2009: Raising Freethinkers and The Last Child in the Woods. The rest are all holiday gifts, and I am looking forward to delving into them. The lower half is nonfiction and the upper is fiction.
Happy New Year!
Bean chose snack for Santa, and even a snack for the reindeer (particularly Rudolph). Next is a bath, and then bedtime. Tomorrow is a big day! Happy Christmas Eve to all.
I woke up with no voice today. Had a sore throat yesterday. My husband is insisting I not speak. Do you know what a challenge it is to parent a child and communicate with her and Husband without a voice? Anytime I use my voice, Husband gets very annoyed with me. He says I need to give up the need to control what’s happening in the household. Arrrrrrgh.
This will probably last a few days, as all bouts with laryngitis have in the past. Most inconvenient.
The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
–Alan Patrick Herbert
Bean has a little bank — a squirrel — that we put coins into. Any time we find a coin on the sidewalk, or whenever a relative sends a dollar bill in a card, the money goes into the bank. The other day, I told her there are people who don’t have any food to eat, and asked her if she would like to help them. She said yes. I told her to choose a number between 1 and 5, and she chose 4. So we took $4 in quarters out of the bank.
Then at the grocery store, I took her to the aisle that had beans and rice. She chose two cans of beans and one bag of rice. We paid for it at the register. It came to $3.99, and she handed the quarters to the cashier. Then she carried the bag (actually, dragged it across the floor) to the food collection barrel installed by Second Harvest Food Bank. Bean shops often with me and understands you have to give money to take the food or other items home. I’m not sure she entirely understood why we left food in a barrel, because the concept of helping out faceless people is really abstract. But it’s the action that matters. It is the practice of acting with compassion that will, over many repetitions, become part of her world view.
Last night I volunteered wrapping presents at The Family Giving Tree, an organization that undertakes a massive annual effort to collect toys and clothing for people in need. When I saw the items, I just about cried. They are wonderful and brand new. Each child listed a first and second gift wish, and some of these were so small: a bottle of perfume, some colored pencils, a basketball. Others of them were a bit more elaborate: a boombox, MP3 player, or Fisher Price Little People toy. But each child was getting one gift, a toothbrush, and if the toy required it, batteries. I almost cried because my daughter, the only child, only grandchild, only niece in both sides of the family, is going to receive so much for the holiday. We are very fortunate.
I did go to their site later and sponsored two children. I think next year I will get more involved in The Family Giving Tree project somehow. I’m glad that many children will get a gift this holiday; what pains me is that the circumstances of their lives are likely difficult. It’s not just a holiday gift they need. They also need food, shelter, safety, stability, security, clothing, and learning opportunities.
Happiness abounds in the ordinary. Of course, it helps to have a good night’s sleep.
I NEED TO KNOW, she wrote, using capital letters for emphasis. ARE YOU SANTA? TELL ME THE TRUTH.
What do you do when your kid asks for the truth? You tell it, of course, doing your best to figure out a way that keeps at least some of the magic intact.
Read the entire post for the sweet beauty of her answer.
This lap robe is about 2000 yards of wool yarn. Very cozy. I just finished it this morning.
On this gray, rainy day, I decided to play a little with the camera. The Christmas tree is an important feature in my holiday traditions. It’s the centerpiece of our celebration. I have more ornaments than I can put on our tree, so each year I get to choose which ones I’d like to enjoy. This straw maiden ornament was given me by my mother many years ago.
I made the peanut elf ornament (below) when I was a Brownie scout, so that means I’ve carried this with me for 40 years!! I even have a construction paper stocking I made in kindergarten, and a construction paper flame ornament from first grade, but this year I didn’t put them on the tree.
I’m looking forward to Bean’s accrual of ornaments over the years, especially the ones she makes. Someday, I hope, she’ll have her own special tree.
In the spirit of incorporating my Husband’s family traditions as well as mine, I tried a new recipe. He grew up making thumbprint cookies with apricot jam, orange marmalade, and mint jelly. Not having those on hand, I used grape jam. Bean didn’t actually help this year, but when she’s older I’ll have her do the thumbprint part (and more, if she wants).
The recipe is here. It’s a fine, fine confection!
My mom sent the link to this video. It’s fun, and sweet. If the embed doesn’t work, click this link.
I haven’t been at the computer much. Decorating, and more decorating, and herding a child through our days.
I love this photo. Her face is so peaceful. Bean had difficulty napping on our trip; I often had to lie down with her to facilitate it. I often fell asleep too, but one day I didn’t and managed to get a shot of her.
We arrived home last night at 11:00 p.m., exhausted and happy. Much unpacking and settling in to do. It was a great trip. Bean is a flexible and patient little traveler (inasmuch as a two-year old can be). We loved seeing family and friends and hope to do it again soon.
Each year, in the last days of Art Every Day Month, my thoughts turn toward Christmas. If I had time and was inclined to make Christmas cards, I think this would make a sweet design. Alas, this one will have to do. I’ve had great fun this month with the process, and I really like most of what I created. I especially like this small format, because I can actually squeeze a little creativity into the nooks and crannies of time I have.
Happy Advent!
I experimented with polymer clay. The chocolate brown was deeper than I had in mind, so I added transparent gold paint and some green puff paint. It’s not as lightweight as a regular Art Card, but I like it nonetheless. It was a piece I could do while standing in the kitchen as Bean played nearby.
In this piece I experimented with image transfer, paper, paint, a piece from a magazine bead necklace, a crushed bean shell, and seed beads.
