Category Archives: Science

Why Did I Wait?

When I was pregnant in 2007, I remember a day when I came back from a walk (or maybe a trip to the grocery store) when my left knee ached. (There were several trips to Safeway when my foot stepped in something on the floor and I slipped. The management has improved maintenance since then.) I chalked up the pain to pregnancy hormones and hoped it would go away.

It didn’t. Then I assumed it was just my “advanced” age — you know, the fact that a mid-40s body has aches and pains that a mid-20s body doesn’t. I also figured that a visit to the doctor would result in my concern being dismissed with a recommendation to just put some ice on it.

When my sister E visited in December, she urged me to look into it. I did, and I had an MRI this morning. The result: I have a complex tear of the medial meniscus. I was referred to a surgeon and have an appointment for February 23 in the afternoon to review the problem and the options.

So, it is validating to know that my pain is real. I feel chagrined that I didn’t pursue this sooner. I could have been pain free at least a year ago! I also feel a little daunted at the thought of being laid up with a toddler and having to navigate our 27 steps in the townhome. Maybe the surgery will be less invasive and intense than my imagination manufactures.

What’s Cooking?

The first week of January is nearly past! I have only a few minutes to write this post, so it’s a bit scattered. I signed up to participate in Creative Every Day 2009, so here’s my first post about it. For Christmas I received some culinary items: a jumbo muffin pan, four really heavy cookie/jelly roll sheets, 6 tart pans, 4 mini loaf pans, and 2 mini cake pans, along with a book called Small-Batch Baking. I really enjoy baking (even more than cooking), but most baked goods are indulgences. And as we should know but have forgotten, an indulgence is a treat, something enjoyed specially; however, the quantities most recipes create are many dozens of cookies or large pies and cakes that a family of three does not need.

This morning I put the loaf pans to use by making more pumpkin bread. I’ve found that large loaves don’t get consumed quickly enough, and another point to baking small is to reduce the amount of temptation to overeat. I was really pleased with the results and look forward to making more goodies. The recipes in the book make very small amounts; for example, a recipe for a cake makes 2 little cakes (slightly larger than a jumbo muffin) or a half a dozen cookies.

I’ve also decided this year to get creative about food in a different way. I received three other books, some of which provide ideas to ponder and one of which also has recipes. One of my relatives has undergone a significant weight loss, and she and I discussed eating habits and the need to remain healthy, and how excess weight impinges on health. Eating differently — heathfully and in less quantity — is also a creative response to environmental issues.

I realize I have, for too many years, consumed food mindlessly in quantities that would shock a large percentage of the world population. As I watch my daughter learn to eat and to feed herself, I’ve felt my conscience poked and prodded. She follows her natural hunger and satiation. It’s been so long since I stopped at satiation. I know what hunger feels like but often eat as recreation, and I often eat beyond simple fullness. So many people live on much, much less. And in fact, as my relative and I discussed, our sense of proportion is extremely skewed. We have grown accustomed to large servings and lost the understanding of how truly little a body needs to thrive. By reducing how much I consume, I can save our family money, and some of that money will go to organizations such as Feeding America and Heifer International. So the books I will be reading are:

Food Matters: A Guide to Conscious Eating, by Mark Bittman (includes recipes)
The Omnivore’s Dilemma, by Michael Pollan
In Defense of Food, by Michael Pollan

It’s Not Art, Exactly

My mother sent a calendar that had gorgeous food photos with the suggestion I might use them with Claire. So today I quickly glued them to Bristol paper, which will make them less fragile. I’ll trim the edges once they are all dry. There has not been much time or energy for knitting or other creative art ventures, so in the meantime this must do.

The photos are from the Center for Science in the Public Interest calendar.

Ten Things Tuesday

I’ve never participated in this meme before, but Gerry does so I thought I’d do a quick brain dump. Reader beware: the quality of what comes next might be less than intelligent. I should also mention that the meme focuses on 10 things one is thankful for; I wrote it more generally, though it could be said that everything on this list is something for which I’m grateful.

Gas Prices: they are lower here. The cheapest I’ve seen is $4.11 per gallon. I was certain they’d keep climbing, so it’s a relief to see them drop a bit.
Nature: I was out this evening searching fruitlessly for something and ended up at Target. When I emerged from my car I happened to look up and saw an enormous double rainbow! It was a complete arc; one of them was vivid and bright, and the other was muted and soft. I leaned against my car and stared for several minutes. I didn’t find what I wanted to buy but got something better for free!
Oreos: I don’t often do it, but I bought a package of double-stuff Oreos tonight. As I drove home I passed a drugstore and the thought occurred to me: They sell Oreos too, and they are the exact same quality as what I bought elsewhere. Just think about this. You can find the same comforting, fattening, sugar-laden cookie at any retail outlet that sells food, and you can be sure it will be the same all over the U.S. Perhaps individuality is sacrificed, but there is something to be said for consistency. Am I weird, or what?
Music: on this gorgeous 70-degree day I drove home from Claire’s music class and hit the classic rock station. I happened to tune in just as Peter Frampton’s classic “Do You Feel Like We Do?” was on. OMG, I was transported back into the 1970s to when I was about 13. I had a huge crush on Frampton. That song was seven minutes long, and I was in a reverie. I didn’t know until I searched on Google, but that song was recorded live at SUNY Plattsburgh in 1975. (This is relevant to me because I attended a SUNY college, grew up in New York State, and my father is from Plattsburgh.)
More Music: Claire’s got rhythm! At class she loves to stand and rock back and forth to the music. She does this holding on to my hands, and we dance together.
Reading: I’m currently reading a novel that barely holds my attention. It’s supposedly set in the 1780s, but I’m finding the style affected and over-wrought, and I’m skimming much of the book now. Why don’t I quit? Because I want to find out what happens to the heroine, though all along I’ve been able to predict this. Please recommend some good novels to me.
Reading Again: (Is this cheating, using the same topic over?) Claire and I finished the summer reading program at our local library. Claire’s book reward was How Do Dinosaurs Learn Their Colors?, and the family-oriented book I chose was I Love Dirt!: 52 Activities to Help You and Your Kids Discover the Wonders of Nature. It seems like a good companion to the book Last Child In the Woods, which I started a few months ago. The activity book is slim and the ideas are simple and obvious, but it was free and is bound to provide a jumping off point for exploration in the future.
Intuition: late this afternoon, Claire sneezed frequently. By the end of the day, she was more tired than usual and clingy and verged on cranky, despite the fact she got the usual solid sleep she gets. Perhaps a cold is coming? I feel it might be. We’ll see if my mother’s intuition is correctly tuned.
Social Networks: I recently joined Facebook because a friend is on it, and that’s where she puts up photos of her child. I’m not sure that being on yet another network is of much, if any, use. But I’m there, and if you’re a member too, find me and be my friend.
Sleep: the magic number of hours for me to feel actually rested and vital is… eleven. Yes, 11 hours of sleep daily seems to be what I need. It isn’t what I always get, in part because I spend about 12 hours a day mothering Claire and would be totally depressed if all I ever did outside of that is sleep. However, speaking of sleep, I should go get some.

Take A Moment

Stop for five minutes and let Phil Plait refresh your perspective about what awesome feats humans are capable of. Let him infect you with his enthusiasm for scientific discovery. His energy is inspiring. If the video doesn’t embed, you can see it here.

Thanks to Dale for sharing this.

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The reason lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn’t there the second time.

–Willie Tyler

Forward and Backward

Claire is working very hard to crawl. In her attempts to raise her bottom and get to her hands and knees, she does a good job traveling backward, which frustrates her, because it puts distance between her and the object she’s trying to reach.

But sometimes she gets to where she wants to go. She’s fascinated by zippers and very determined to figure out how they work.

In my eagerness to introduce solids, I gave Claire some Stage 1 (well-ground) chicken (commercially prepared baby food). It seems she may have an intolerance at this point. She’s had five poops today and a rash has begun on her bottom. This is similar to when we attempted to transition from hypo-allergenic to regular formula in December. However, she had only one day’s exposure, so I caught it quickly. The doctor recommended to hold off on meat proteins for a couple more months. She also said she often wonders about what’s in the jars; even though the ingredients say, for example, chicken and chicken broth, she wonders if there might be preservatives in there that can irritate. So until the reaction clears up, we’re sticking with peas and brown rice, oat cereal, rice cereal, carrots (not a lot), applesauce, and bananas. Then I’ll continue to introduce one new vegetable at a time and over a period of four days to see. I really don’t want to deal with a lot of food sensivities and allergies, but unfortunately I might just need to accept this possibility; Husband’s got family members who are allergic to pork, beef, tomatoes, yeast, oranges, milk (and some simply have a lactose intolerance). Still, I’m sure we’ll find something to feed her!

123 Meme

This meme has been making the rounds. I’m not certain how I feel about the relevance of posting three sentences from a nearby book (and skipping the five preceding sentences), but what the heck.

I’ve been tagged by The Friendly Humanist for a new blog meme. Here are the rules:

Pick up the book nearest you with at least 123 pages. (No cheating!)
Turn to page 123.
Count the first five sentences.
Post the next three sentences.
Tag five other bloggers.

The book nearest me with at least 123 pages is a book I’ve had in queue for at least 10 years. I pulled it off the shelf the other day to think about reading it (so little time, so many books). Here are the sentences:

R’tu enabled the sisterly cooperation and dietary control women needed to successfully bear larger-brained babies. R’tu braided the mental, physical, and spiritual together in ever-expanding spirals of cultural expression. We thus led ourselves along the course of our evolution by enacting consciousness.

This begs the question: What is R’tu?

It’s a Sanskrit word. If Wikipedia is correct, it means:

Ritu (?tú) in Vedic Sanskrit refers to a fixed or appointed time, especially the proper time for sacrifice (yajna) or ritual in Vedic Religion. The word is so used in the Rigveda, the Yajurveda and the Atharvaveda. In Classical Sanskrit, it refers to an epoch or period, especially one of the six seasons of the year, Vasanta “spring”, Grishma “the hot season”, Varsha “the rainy season”, Sharad “autumn”, Hemant “winter”; and Shishir “the cool season”, or the menstrual cycle.

This link doesn’t define it, but it gives a sense of the concept’s importance in Sanskrit literature.

The book I used for the meme is Blood, Bread, and Roses: How Menstruation Created the World. Here is how the author defines the term.

Ritual, fromt Sanskrit r’tu, is any act of magic toward a purpose. Rita, means a proper course. Ri, meaning birth, is the root of red, pronounced “reed” in Old English and still in some modern English accents (New Zealand). R’tu means menstrual, suggesting that ritual began as menstrual acts. The root of r’tu is in “arithmetic” and “rhythm”; I hear it also in “art,” “theater,” and perhaps in “root” as well. The Sanskrit term is still alive in India, where goddess worship continues to keep r’tu alive in its menstrual senses; r’tu also refers to special acts of heterosexual intercourse immediately following menstruation, and also to specific time of year.

This should be an interesting book. The author, Judy Grahn, is an American poet, was a member of the Gay Women’s Liberation Group, helped establish The Women’s Press Collective in 1969, and is co-director of the Women’s Spirituality MA program and Program Director of the MFA in Creative Inquiry at the New College of California.

As for tagging others, I’m copping out on this one. I barely have the energy to finish this post, and I’d like to eat dinner. Besides, I don’t want to wear out my welcome with friends and recently tagged five people for another meme. If you want to play along, feel free, and leave a comment.

Useful Technology

In my last post I mentioned Husband and I felt woozy, which prompted a comment of concern by Laurel. She didn’t specify her concern, but I imagine she was thinking about carbon monoxide poisoning. However, there were four reassuring reasons this was not the case: Grandma was feeling fine, the baby was doing better from her tummy trouble, the cat proceeded with her day as usual, and the carbon monoxide alarm did not go off. Everything in this house, including the water heater, is powered by electricity (but we do have a rarely used fireplace).

Yes, we own a carbon monoxide detector. Carbon monoxide is an odorless, deadly gas. In Austin, our house was fueled by gas for cooking, and we had a gas fireplace. So Husband bought one and plugged it in. One holiday — I forget if it was Thanksgiving or Christmas — we had my brother and his wife over for dinner. We were cooking a turkey and played Trivial Pursuit while we waited. At one point, we all commented on how lethargic we were feeling. We attributed it to the warmth of the room and hunger. Shortly after, the detector went off. That jarred us up and out of the house, opening windows and doors on the way. It turns out the oven wasn’t operating properly.

Now, I don’t know what the outcome might have been if there had not been a monitor, but it’s possible a tragedy was averted. Carbon monoxide detectors come in a range of prices and are worth every dollar, especially if you use gas, a fireplace, or a wood-burning stove for cooking and warmth. Research it and buy one if you don’t have it.

So Sensitive

Claire saw the doctor today. (I appreciate that doctor. She worked us in, and still took her time with us. I never feel pressured by her or as if her hand is on the door knob during the visit.) She asked if anything had changed in the last week. I told her about our aborted attempt from December 8-10 to transition her back to regular formula. She said based on the fact there is no fever and no vomiting, it is probable that the regular formula is the cause of the diarrhea. It can apparently take several days for the body to initiate a reaction to a substance it cannot tolerate, and it can take two or three weeks for it to be completely processed. In this case, the substance is whole milk proteins. She was doing fine on the hypoallergenic stuff. Whether she’s just got an immature digestive system and will grow out of this, or whether it’s a true intolerance/allergy remains to be seen. It seems that we’ll be using the Nutramigen “liquid gold” for the rest of her first year. We won’t be introducing solid food until she’s at least six months old, also because of her sensitive digestion.

The doctor also decided that her increased weight requires a slightly higher dose of Zantac, since the reflux might also be contributing to her discomfort. Claire weighs 11 pounds, 3 ounces now. Still a bitty girl!

As for the diaper rash, a bare bottom was encouraged. A baking soda sitz bath once a day. No anti-fungal or cortisone cream. Instead, she gave samples of an over-the-counter ointment that is more powerful than Desitin, etc. and is used in post-surgical wounds. It’s not usually stocked, so I called a pharmacy and they said they would have some for me tomorrow. The stuff is called Calmoseptine Ointment. If the rash isn’t gone in 3-4 days, I’m supposed to call the doctor back. Problem is, that runs us into the weekend and then the holiday. So let’s hope Santa brings a healed bottom for my little girl.

She’s eating only small amounts still, and today she is under her usual amount significantly. She will get better, everyone says so. We just haven’t turned the corner quite yet on this.

However, she’s getting old enough that attempts to comfort her are received and responded to. She knows she’s being cared for and allows herself to relax, be caressed, cuddled, and crooned to. She allowed that before, but now she’s more aware of us. I feel for the first time like her mommy. I knew I was a mother, but not until recently have I become a mommy.

To Bed!

I should be in bed by now. Husband will become peeved soon that I’m not.

An advice nurse advised:

soak her bottom in warm water with 2 Tbsp. of baking soda several times a day.
Use lotrimin anti-fungal cream (or similar brand) on her bottom, because bright red rash indicates possible yeast infection.
Let her be diaper-free as much as possible.
Give her 2 oz. of Pedialyte if her diarrhea happens often and in large amounts.
Use only warm water and cotton balls to clean her bottom and pat dry with cotton balls.
Use Desitin the rest of the time.

If it got worse, or if there was mucous or blood in the stool (indication of bacterial infection), she said to see the doctor in the morning. Well, the rash seems worse. The stool doesn’t have mucous but is different in consistency (I’ll spare you the description). There is no blood in the stool, but she bleeds when her skin is cleaned (and screams, stiffens like a board, and curls her little toes tight in response). I called an advice nurse this evening to see about the hydrocortisone cream someone suggested and to ask if infant Tylenol would help. I was told no to the cream and given advice on the dose for the pain-killer. Someone had suggested her symptoms could be teething related (it’s very early but can happen), but she said with 13 bowel movements in the day as of 8 p.m. is sounded more like a viral infection. (Claire normally has 3-4. Friday it was 5; Saturday it was 7; today the final count is unknown.) Also, the medicated ointment and Desitin don’t really stay on her skin, because the part that is the worst is seeping with plasma and is too wet for the goo to adhere.) She’s low on her intake for the day, because when she eats her tummy starts to hurt with gas and she can’t continue, or she soils her diaper during the meal and then it’s game over, because the pain overwhelms her. You can bet I’ll be on the phone at 8 a.m. tomorrow asking for an appointment.

She’s not direly ill, and she does manage to be cheerful some of the time. This will pass, whatever it is. I’m wound up right now, though, and a small glass of red wine is easing me toward relaxation. Sleep is next. For me, at least, and I hope for her.

A Christmas Gift Like No Other

Update: New photos of Claire on Flickr!

One year ago today I learned I was pregnant. For those who haven’t been reading my blog long (or who might have forgotten), here’s the back story. After two miscarriages in 2005, we tried in 2006. I became nervous about the lack of progress, and Husband and I decided to see a fertility specialist. (My husband is ten years younger and had not the sense of urgency I felt about the waning opportunity.) On November 13 we met with the doctor, who advised that because of my “advanced maternal age,” the likelihood of successful in vitro conception with my own eggs was less than 10% per attempt. In other words, my eggs were old, tired, dried up, and probably rife with genetic misinformation. Those were bad odds, so I made peace with the idea of using egg donation. We agreed to have testing done (for both of us) and begin in January.

A week later I had another FSH hormone test done which showed the levels to be normal (the previous one had been a “tad” high at 11). The specialist wanted another, more invasive test done to check the health of my uterus, but my HMO insurance would not cover it because the specialist was out of network. No problem; we switched to a more expensive PPO for 2007 and would wait to do the test then.

Then we proceeded to just live. My period came and went at the end of November. I relaxed knowing we would be doing something constructive in the near future and focused on preparing for my favorite holiday.

On this day last year, I was having tea with Eileen. I had not been feeling my best the previous week. I felt bloated, tired, a little green around the edges sometimes, and had to pee every five minutes (at least, it felt that often). During tea I confided to Eileen and wistfully said, “I really wish I were pregnant. These are the same signs from past pregnancies. I would prefer not to go through the torment that is in vitro.” She agreed that this would be a preferable, happier outcome.

After tea I came home to a letter from our landlords asking us to vacate the house by mid-February. This was completely unexpected. We knew the house was intended for their son someday, but we had the impression that “someday” was years off. Yet we’d also been talking about moving, because the house was one room shy of enough space for a child. Well, this was a fortuitous kick in the pants to get started, because…

I still had one pregnancy test left from the last package. That night on a whim I took it. My attitude was: Well, I may as well use this up. I’m not pregnant, I’m sure, but what the heck. Then I saw. TWO LINES!!! Holy macaroni! Oh, the confirmation line wasn’t strong, but it was there. I was stunned. I ran into the other room waving the wand in Husband’s face. He was tentatively thrilled. We agreed, though, that we’d act like this wasn’t a big deal and say nothing until after we’d passed eight weeks (the latest I’d miscarried). But my oh my, look what a present I ended up with!

Later in the week I took two more home pregnancy tests, each with a stronger result. Then one day I had cramping and spotting. I resigned myself to the probability of miscarriage. It turned out that was implantation bleeding, and this was a good thing. We departed for Syracuse to spend holiday with family, and upon arriving home December 30th, morning sickness arrived full-blown and all day long. (We house-hunted throughout that time. You don’t think Pixie will be hearing about that in later years, do you?) It wasn’t until we saw the OB in my 11th week that we fully relaxed into the reality of this, but we didn’t share the news with family officially until after week 12 (some from my side guessed during the holidays at week 6, but we did not discuss it), and with the rest of the world until after week 18. It was very difficult to remain mum about this, but I’m glad we did; it made the sharing quite enjoyable.

So this year, I’ve decided I want a million dollars. Just one million will do. 😉

(Not really. I wrote about what I want for Christmahanakwanzayule.)

In closing, how fitting, then, that this evening I’ll attend the baby shower for my friend Nathania, who knew about my pregnancy losses, my fear, my hope and my joy, and who in her second trimester assisted my labor and the arrival of Claire.

A Mindful Life / Kathryn Harper

express : discover : renew : create