Category Archives: Recreation

A Long Day

I sit at the dining table, just having put Claire to bed at 7:45 p.m. Husband is out seeing a movie with a friend; he deserves an occasional fun outing too. The challenge has been that last week I started doing something different with Claire’s schedule, and today I’ve decided it probably isn’t working out.

Before last week, our routine was thus:

Wake at 5:45 or 6:00 a.m., have a bottle
Play until sleepy around 7:30-8:00 a.m., go down for a nap
Up around 9:00 or 9:30 a.m., eat breakfast, play or go out
Bottle at 11-ish, play, then a second nap around 12:30
Up at 1:30 or 2:00, lunch, more play
Another nap around 3:30 or 4:00 sometimes
Dinner at 5:30, play, Husband home for dinner at 6:30
Play, bath, bed at 7:45 or 8:00

Last week I began trying:
Wake at 5:45 or 6:00 a.m., have a bottle
Back to sleep in the crib until she wakes at 8:00 or 8:30
Breakfast at 9:00
Bottle at 11:30
Nap at 1:00
Lunch at 2:00, bottle later, then dinner
Up until 7:45 or 8:00

Even though she is getting the same number of hours of sleep, I noticed with the new schedule she is cranky, more tearful, and tired. She seems to need a nap at 10 or so, but she won’t fall asleep. She has a mid-day long nap, but then ends up exhausted, clingy, and whiny in late afternoon; however, she won’t nap then either. So it makes for many many hours between sleep periods where she is just not her best self.

Tomorrow I’ll return to the former schedule and observe how this works over the next week. My hope is that she regains her cheerful balance. I think she simply needs more frequent, if shorter, naps.

I wish I had more to say, but at this time of day I’m lucky if I can form a thought at all! A novel and bed await.
—

Next on my to-read list (once I can get a copy from the library): The Lincolns: Portrait of a Marriage

Brain Food And Entertainment

In between shopping for a new car seat, providing the usual care for Claire, doing laundry, buying groceries, vacuuming and mopping, watering outdoor plants, and making lemon buttermilk pies for a potluck, I’ve been squeezing in another book. The library books are momentarily set aside so I can complete a book I started months ago, Oil! by Upton Sinclair. I am now fascinated by the story (as relevant today as it was at first publication in 1927) and the history lesson embedded in the plot. The reason I had put it aside was that Sinclair uses two devices I found intrusive to my attention — the second person point of view and a liberal application of exclamation points. The story finally drew me in enough that I was able to let go of the distractions.

Tide Change

My energy seems to have returned, which makes me feel cheerier and optimistic. This shift occurred over the weekend when I got some time to myself.

A Guatemalan friend recommended some authors to me, so on Thursday I dove into Antigua and My Life Before, by Marcela Serrano. I finished yesterday completely satisfied with the encounter. I have not read much in recent months. In part this is because in recent years I turned to non-fiction more often, and I find I can’t sustain my attention on it now. Slipping into another reality via a good story is what I need. The next book is The Bejeweled Boy by Miguel Angel Asturias. My friend also encouraged me to try Gabriel Garcia Marquez again; I had tried to read One Hundred Years of Solitude several times but it did not engage me. She has suggested I try Love in the Time of Cholera, so this is on my list to borrow from my beautiful local library.

In addition to reading, I was able to go out shopping to use a gift card I’d won at a social event. It was at Lakeshore Learning, so it was still oriented toward my child, but I love to look at educational games and teaching supplies, and I had fun there. And I took a relaxing soak yesterday evening. These moments rejuvenated me.

I have another reason to feel happy as well. My parents have booked a plane flight to visit us in October! We are thrilled and excited they are making the long journey from Syracuse, especially because they are in their mid-70s and travel is not so easy for them (and many others) any more. They will get to meet their granddaughter in person! We have a busy season coming up; visitors are coming in August, September, and October, and then holiday season begins. Every day I pay attention — as often as I can — because so much happens, and Claire is changing so fast. I try to embrace and yet not cling.

The Problem With Blogging

Well first, it takes time and energy, which are increasingly scarce for me.

Second, and more importantly to me, it creates an often one-sided relationship with people. It puts people in a spectator role and removes incentive to connect directly with me, because they already know what’s up in my life.

That doesn’t provide the most fulfilling relationships for me.

I’m so exhausted that I have few words and less energy. I go to bed at 8:00 p.m., am unconscious immediately, then arise at 5:30 a.m. (or whenever Claire wakes), and feel exhausted all day. I think that the energy required to be a mother — the vigilance, the constant availability — just calls for more energy than a good night’s sleep can provide.

I have less to say, and less desire to share in the blog what little I do have to say. I may be evolving out of blogging. Or at least headed toward a hiatus.

This Is What We Do At The Park

In addition to riding the swing, pulling up grass, scrunching sand between our fingers, and generally trying to put all interesting items in the mouth:

chasing pigeons

And happy, happy news! Uncle TP is coming for a visit to meet my Little Eclaire in August! It’s funny, because he came out in August last year for a visit when I was huge and so ready to give birth and be done with pregnancy. A year? Already?! (I say that a lot on this blog, don’t I?)

Nasty Drivers and Spoiled Fish

For reasons I don’t want to go into (mostly because they’re boring), the past couple days have been rough for me. I am raw and short on energy and patience. At a stoplight, I had my right turn blinker on. It’s an option to turn right on red (unless there’s sign prohibiting it). I was about to turn when the driver behind me honked. So I didn’t. That’s the kind of mood I’m in — something mean within digs in its heels. She honked again, and I saw her gesticulating in the mirror. I waited until the light turned green and went, and waved at her as she roared past me all the distance of one block to turn left; she flipped me the middle finger through her sun roof. I know it’s not mature or honorable behavior. I don’t like it in myself. This all happened within a mile of my home as I returned home from a nice outing at the park with a friend. I know, I should have walked instead — except here there’s a risk we’d be run over by the same driver. Such is life in an overpopulated area. Grrrrr.

I got home to cook the salmon I bought yesterday to find it had turned bad. It smelled fishy, which is a sign of very old fish. The whole fridge smells funky now.

Claire is starting to arch her back and thrash and scream when something happens she doesn’t want, or when something she wants doesn’t happen. Toddlerhood tantrums already?

I got NO time to myself this past weekend (except for one nap, but I’d like some awake alone time), since we had family errands and housecleaning and some social commitments. I also have very little say over my schedule as far as when things happen (nothing is much in my control), even on weekends.

Something I started to knit I had to frog (“rip it” out) because I made a mistake and couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

What’s so very bothersome to me is the way incidents such as those in the first paragraph stay with me, and how a sour hatred toward humanity rises up in my throat when I’m feeling this raw.

Cranky, cranky, cranky. Will someone show me some love in the comments? If you need incentive, here’s one:

loves the fan

Zigzag

In an attempt to break out of my safe little rut, I tried a new pattern. It’s not as though the stitch is difficult; it involves binding off and picking up stitches, but I’d never tried changing directions before. This is an accent scarf, and it’s intended to be worn to jazz up an outfit. It’s not designed for warmth (and considering it’s 102.6F right now, that sounds just right). I don’t know the recipient yet. I might use it as a gift. Or maybe someday I’ll try to sell what I knit at least to recoup the expense of the yarn. The skein was 130 yards and cost $15, which is on the pricey side for me. (Anybody want to buy a scarf? I should open an Etsy store.)

zigzag scarf

Before Morning Nap

One thing I’ve noticed about having a child is that one parent typically takes the majority of the pictures, which means more time spent behind the lens than in front. That would be me. My sister intends today to get some shots of me with Claire. This was one from the early morning. I look pretty perky for 7 a.m.! (Claire and I arose at 6:10.)

before morning nap

Outside Inside

Outside the air quality suffers. The haze is thick, the scent is acrid. Smoke is visible at about a half-mile. It’s very odd, as the sun shines through, the sky is gray-white, and the horizon is obliterated. There are about 800 wildfires burning in Northern California (last I heard). So we aren’t going on many walks or park dates at this time.

Inside, Claire continues to charm, amuse, and endear herself to us. When I read her Sandra Boynton’s A to Z book and get to the “K, Kangaroo Kissing,” she makes the kiss noise. She crawls around holding onto a small toy or sock with one hand. Sometimes she tries holding something in both while crawling and pulling up and finds this challenging. She is pulling up on everything and terrorizing the cat. I think the fourth upper tooth is finally breaking through. She chews clothes, toys, fingers. Claire feeds herself Cheerios now with good dexterity. She is all-around wonderful!

Her aunt LR arrives on Sunday for a week. We’re looking forward to lots of bonding.

The New Homemaker

I’ve discovered a new blog and resource portal that will become a staple of my reading: The New Homemaker. I was doing research on the origin of “Susie Homemaker” (which I’ve not yet found because I wandered off into this new discovery). From the About page:

Who is the New Homemaker? She is the person who has discovered that having both partners in the work world is not “having it all.” Children, elders and the community have been sacrificed for two generations to the crazy notion that households can run themselves. Well, they can’t, and never have. Working parents have struggled valiantly to “have it all,” but are increasingly saying “we’ve had enough”; someone has to be home. Even single parents are exploring ways to spend more time at home and less at work, or to work at home.

Unexpectedly at home, the New Homemaker now finds herself completely unprepared to run that household, with few resources to turn to. Skills and knowledge housekeepers took for granted for centuries have been lost in just 50 years’ time. Traditional women’s magazines are filled not with solid homemaking advice and resources, but with diets, celebrity interviews, horoscopes, romance quizzes, career advice, fashion spreads and the like. Where help is available it’s frequently packaged with religious advice that may be appropriate for some women but hardly all, or even most.

I could print the entire manifesto here, but I won’t. You should read it, however. It speaks sense.

A Story — Or Two Dozen — Before Bed

This is how we spend 40 minutes or so before a nap. We sit on the floor with me right behind her. She pulls a book off the shelf, I read and set it aside, and she pulls another, and another, etc. until she yawns and rubs her eyes or bursts into tears for no obvious reason. Then we cuddle and rock and she drifts sweetly asleep.

a story -- or two dozen -- before bed

You can see a bigger picture (if you’re curious about the titles) here.

Losing and Gaining

In 2004, I posted briefly about the firing of Deborah Voigt from a role at the Royal Opera House. The reason? She was considered too fat for the role, particularly because she couldn’t fit into a little black dress that was part of the contemporary production.

She had gastric bypass surgery and has now returned to the role. She said she didn’t have the surgery in response to being fired.

“I did it because I wasn’t feeling well, because my knees were hurting, because I would cross the street and feel as though I wasn’t going to be able to catch my breath,” Voigt told “Good Morning America.” “Because, ‘Oh my lord, I might have to sit in that chair at dinner and there are arms on it. And will I fit into that chair?'”

I’m really glad she’s lost weight to improve her health and general well-being. I continue to think that it was a shame she was ever fired in the first place.

What do you think?