Tag Archives: pie


pie porn IV: apple pie baked

The Poet’s Occasional Alternative
by Grace Paley

I was going to write a poem
I made a pie instead      it took
about the same amount of time
of course the pie was a final
draft      a poem would have had some
distance to go      days and weeks and
much crumpled paper
the pie already had a talking
tumbling audience among small
trucks and a fire engine on
the kitchen floor
everybody will like this pie
it will have apples and cranberries
dried apricots in it      many friends
will say      why in the world did you
make only one
this does not happen with poems
because of unreportable
sadnesses I decided to
settle this morning for a re-
sponsive eatership      I do not
want to wait a week      a year      a
generation for the right
consumer to come along

If I Bring It

Long ago when I started baking, I decided to make it a point of pride to learn how to make pie crust from scratch. My crusts never come out perfectly, but they do the job well enough. However, I have never had a massive failure — that is to say, I’ve never had dough that was too flaky, gooey, or dry to handle. I’ve always managed to get it rolled out large enough to cover the pan and topping (if it’s a two-crust pie) with enough to crimp the edges. You know, a proper pie crust.

Today I experienced pie crust structural failure. I made the dough last night and refrigerated it. Perhaps I measured the ingredients incorrectly. (Although how can you mess up something that’s made from flour, salt, shortening, and water?) I rolled out the bottom and barely got it into the pan. I patched the broken spaces. Then I tried to roll the top. Ugh. Flakes everywhere. It fell apart under pressure. I tried briefly warming the dough in the microwave, thinking the shortening might soften up. It actually started to cook the dough. In the end, I decided to stop fiddling and just deal with what was in front of me. I didn’t have the energy or heart to make more dough. I still have stuffing to make.

So I decided to plop the partial top crust onto the apples and call it avante garde apple pie. My friend (who’s hosting a bunch of us) had stopped by to watch Claire while I prepped, and he said it’ll taste good anyway. Apples and sugar and spice. What’s not to like? He made me promise to bring it. Do you think if I bring it, they will eat?

avant garde apple pie

[cross-posted at Knit Together]