From this (playing in her pool and having pensive moment)…
…to this (silly with stickers).
This weekend I made a magic wand for Claire out of a wooden dowel and some pieces of wood my father gave me years ago. I painted it a light shade of purple and used a second coat of translucent silver paint to add shimmer. Then I coated the tip in silver glitter and used a glossy gel to seal it.
I thought about trying to add ribbon streamers to the tip, but I concluded that a simple design was better. The magic, of course, will be imbued by Claire herself. I hope she finds many hours of fun with it.
Claire is beginning to show interest in dress-up and playing pretend. I wear headbands, and she calls them crowns. She has a little satin purple headband that she calls her crown. I have a large basket waiting for dress-up items. I bought her a tutu today (there is no way I have the skill or the tools to sew one). Here are some things I remember from childhood that I’d like to have:
Cowboy vest and hat
Cape
Fancy dresses
Gloves
Hats
Scarves & ties (I’d like to get her a feather one too)
Wigs
Jewelry
Shoes
The trick is, I don’t want to spend a fortune. I looked at many kid toys sites, and an outfit for one thing (like a fireman) can run up to $40! I paid a little more for the tutu than I wanted, but I told myself I’d likely not find it much cheaper unless I made it myself. (It can double as a fairy outfit, and I will make a wand for her out of my art supplies.) I can try to hit Goodwill and garage sales. And I’m not insisting on child-size clothes; adult outfits can be fun to wear. If any reader has items they would like to unload, please let me know. (I don’t own fancy dresses.)
We desperately need a child-size table and chairs as well. Space is an issue, but she deserves a right-size workspace of her own. The cost, again, is a factor. Small furniture can carry big prices!
So many tidbits to share about Claire, who is such a marvelous and interesting little person. Without further ado:
Claire will be 21 months old in about a week. We’re having the time of our lives.
I have a list of the little things I plan to write about that Claire is doing, but it’s late and I’m wiped out. She is a busy, busy child! So loving and cheerful too (most of the time). So here is a video to provide a glimpse until I have the energy to write. (If the embedded video doesn’t know, click this link.)
Since my stove-top is compromised (one burner can’t be used) and I don’t want to heat up the oven in the summer anyway, I bought a new crock pot. I haven’t used crock pots much because the recipes often call for different sizes; I had only one, and it seemed impractical to have more than one since they are large. Well, another mom mentioned that Walmart had a 3-in-1 crock pot on sale for $30, and so I went and got it. (Target sells the same brand for $60.) It has one base and three crocks: 2, 4, and 6-quarts.
The other night I used the 2-quart size to roast chicken thighs with rosemary and white wine. Today I made pulled pork for the first time (in the 6-quart ), and it was delectable.
There are umpteen zillion crock pot recipes for free on the web, so I’m looking forward to trying some of them. It just requires a little planning and prep ahead, but then it’s so easy!
Although today is cloudy and rainy, I’m energized and in a better mood. This morning I went to a friend’s home for a play date and we had a great visit. A little later another friend came with her daughter, and our three daughters played together while we adults got to catch up. It had been awhile since we’d been able to visit for an extended time.
I pushed Claire a little and stayed longer than I usually do. Most of the time I have us home by 11 a.m. for lunch and down for a nap no later than 12:15, because in the past missing that window meant she didn’t sleep at all (or very long) due to being overtired. But today I needed to visit, so we got home at 11:45 and ate a quick lunch. She was close to a tantrum, being so tired, but she went to sleep quickly at 12:30. I’m hoping for a usual nap of 90 minutes to two hours.
I’ve had a little too much coffee, and I need some food, and I feel a wave of sleepiness coming on…
Claire woke at 5:40 a.m. this morning, which is unusually early; for the past few months she shifted her wake time to 6-6:30, and sometimes as late as 7:00. I left her be until 6:10. When I went into her bedroom and leaned over the crib, she said, “I could eat an elephant!” (This is what a hungry lion says in one of her current favorite books, The Saggy Baggy Elephant.) As I carried her downstairs, she also told me how Stella (our cat) was mad and angry and kept repeating she could eat an elephant. I suspect that she was telling me she was mad at not being retrieved right when she woke up, because she was hungry.
Then she requested peanut butter toast and ate only four bites. Perplexing child! (Later she ate two yogurts in one sitting.)
One of Claire’s aunts sent a bunch of books I remember well from childhood, and Claire now enjoys them routinely: There’s a Wocket in My Pocket!; Go, Dog. Go! (a tedious book); A Fly Went By; Are You My Mother? (another tedious book to me, but not to her). She also passionately enjoys Richard Scarry’s Best Word Book Ever; Busy, Busy Town; and Cars and Trucks and Things That Go (especially Goldbug). These are her most requested books of late.
And quite recently, out of the blue, Claire has started singing songs, some of which she has not heard for many months (from former Music Together classes). She gets the lyrics correct some of the time, but it doesn’t really matter; she likes to sing little ditties to herself that she makes up too. I marvel at how her brain is blooming.
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On another, less marvelous note, however, is the fact that sometimes I feel the hours of each day weigh on me, and I’m feeling again as though I haven’t got a “me.” Claire is a busy, interactive child. I often find that when I put her down for a nap, I need one too. And by the time she goes to bed at 8:00 p.m., I’m so spent I’ve no energy to write (even email) or do anything recreational; I’m even too tired to go out by myself to get groceries. I’m in bed by 9:30, usually asleep. In addition to this is the fact that my social interaction with other mothers has been cut due to changes in my and my friends’ activities and schedules, so the days feel long. If I deprive myself of the nap, my ass drags through the afternoon, and I usually end up drinking a couple servings of coffee just to stay conscious. It is not an enjoyable way to pass time. Yet this is what I am doing today, because I really need to write and reflect.
What this means, for me, is that I often find myself thinking about the next thing when I’m with Claire. I’m thinking about her next snack, or how many minutes until 8 a.m. when I can get Husband up so I can have my hour to exercise and shower. I’m thinking about how to get through the afternoon until he comes home at 6:30ish. I find myself not enjoying yet another game of “I’m gonna get you!” or the 20th reading of the same story. I feel spent. And I feel sad about this, because Claire is comprehending and communicating ever more, and becoming such an interesting little person. But lately I feel I’m putting in time.
What’s interesting about this is that she is no more demanding, really, than she was a year ago. She could do far less for herself a year ago, and I was physically more constrained by this. She wants to interact more, but in reality her communication skills are so developed that we rarely have skirmishes due to misunderstandings. Her will is getting stronger. She dawdles more, defies requests more frequently. I have to be creative in my responses, pick my battles, decide when to wait and when I’ve had enough and just want to get the task done. Once upon a time I just picked her up and went. Perhaps this is where my exhaustion arises?
I wish I was more energized. I wish I appreciated her more in this time period. I’m unsettled by my internal responses.
But really, I think she’s amazing (she’ll be 20 months old next week). Here’s proof — if the embedded video doesn’t work, click here. (And now it’s time for my nap.)
I can’t get enough of Susan Boyle’s voice. I read a commentary about what about her compels so many people.
Who among us does not move through life with the hidden sense, maybe even quiet desperation, that we are destined for more? That underneath our ordinary exterior lays an extraordinary soul? That given the right opportunity, the right stage, the right audience, we would shine as the stars we truly are?
That promise underlies most successful advertising campaigns: the desire to transform from caterpillar to butterfly. Maybe if you buy that (fill in the blank), people will see you for the sophisticated, cool, gorgeous, talented, lovable person you know you really are.
But in our less desperate moments, we know we can’t purchase that transformation. Although Susan Boyle became an overnight sensation, hers was not an overnight transformation. She’s been practicing singing since she was 12. In her case, overnight was 35 years.
It’s easy to admire Susan. But it’s far more interesting to be transformed by her. “There is grace,” a friend recently wrote to me, “in being molded by your own gifts.”
To allow yourself to be molded by your own gifts takes courage. You have to be willing to stand there, exposed and authentic, while the audience rolls their eyes at you and sneers, expecting failure. And then, of course, you have to fail, laugh or cry, and keep going until, one day, they stop laughing and start clapping.
–Peter Bregman, CNN
And Claire can’t get enough of the music. She requests music to be played at every meal. She wants to dance to it several times during the day. If music of any kind is on, she will begin to rock on her feet; she’s also incorporating arm movements now. She has begun to use rhythm and tonal patterns; the CDs have these little chants and rhymes, and she now does them. She is remembering lyrics to these songs and repeating them, and also starting to sing notes. She sings ABCs almost completely now. Her memory astounds me, as does her capacity to absorb new information. She is almost desperately interested in violins, guitars, keyboards, and drums. One of her favorite Little Golden books is Animal Orchestra. In Animal Town, it was musical day. The orchestra had gathered to play. She enthusiastically attends her Music Together class; most of the time she stands and rocks to the rhythm of the songs, absorbing the activities and sounds with wide eyes.
I’ve no idea “where” all this immersion will take her. My only goal now is to share the joy of music with her. It’s pretty clear she is drawn to it from deep within herself.
Today was the first really warm day of the year: 95 degrees. And I, as usual, can’t sleep because it is still warm inside and out.
We went to see a house yesterday and today. The yesterday house we liked well enough, more for its location than perhaps the interior, but the price is higher than we feel comfortable going. The house we saw today was, well, just another frakking house. It was well-priced, but there were several problems with it, and it just didn’t stand out to us. Husband and I agreed that it is time to take a break — for me, not for him. We have spent every single Saturday and Sunday since the first weekend in January looking at houses. We have done nothing else, because after working around Claire’s nap and the open house schedules (1-4 p.m.), there is usually little time for any family trips elsewhere. We do get to a park after each foray, which we all enjoy.
But I’m weary. I’m rather depressed at the prices and the quality of the houses we see for those prices. I have not had any “me time” on the weekends for several months. The only weekend we took off from looking was the weekend immediately after my surgery. Husband used to take Claire on long walks in the neighborhood that afforded me time to clean, do laundry, etc. or just be home alone.
So I don’t know how long our break will be. The good thing all this research has done is that it has helped us clarify exactly what kind of house we would like to buy (e.g., square footage, small yard, recent build, etc.). It’s just that we haven’t found it yet. Next weekend, however, we will go on an outing to a zoo or museum — something fun.
And I’m working on cleaning out my closets of old clothes and stuff that feels extraneous. I’m not touching art supplies or yarn. I just need to streamline a little or I’ll go mad.
Here’s hoping sleep comes soon. I really need it.
Tomorrow my “vacation” ends, and Husband’s vacation begins — both of us will be going back to work. His vacation is from me and from full-time waiting on two demanding females. 😉 My break was the two weeks of healing from surgery, and I’m mostly mobile. We’ll see how I fare tomorrow!
Yesterday we went to an open house in an area of San Jose we rather like, and then we drove up to Hayward to purchase a used Schwinn recumbent stationary bike for me. When we got home we realized it’s a few inches too long for the space we thought it would fit, so we had a long discussion about our stuff and how much house we need in the future. We also talked about how much house we can afford and looked hard at the numbers in several scenarios. We came away with a better sense of our priorities.
Today we toured seven different model homes in Fremont and Morgan Hill. All of them were vertical (three townhomes and four houses), and my knee communicated its displeasure at the end of the day. However, we saw some things that have potential. Then around 6:30 we met some friends at Choi’s Korean restaurant. The girls had fun eating the glass noodles and other food, and it was good to get out with friends. We’re all tired out. Claire is just going to bed now, and we hope dearly that she will sleep long and well. We rarely miss bedtime (8 p.m.), but now and then a special occasion is okay. She is a really patient and cooperative child while we wander through homes every weekend.