I began a painting over a month ago, but work on it has stalled. I did a little work on it today but it frustrated me. The urge to create something was almost overwhelming, so I turned to a different medium: polymer clay. I just desperately needed to make something. The result — three Christmas ornaments and two ring dishes. They are very petite. Just right for a stocking stuffer. I’m not sure who will be the recipients, and maybe I will just release them into the world.
Normally I put up holiday decorations the day after Thanksgiving and put them all away on New Year’s Day. This year I didn’t adorn the house until December 8th and, desperate for floor space again, we packed the tree and other items up yesterday afternoon. All our presents are living in their appropriate places for use and enjoyment. There will come a time when we loll in the afterglow of the holiday, with the tree and presents still stacked around once opened. But we’ve got tummy time to do, and rolling over to practice! And new toys to play with and books to read, of course.
I was reading The Book of New Family Traditions, and I realized Claire and I have a diaper-changing ritual that has simply evolved over time. When we head to her room for a change, I sing a little song: “Claire needs a clean (or dry) diaper (three times), yes she does, yes she does!” I sing that a few times on the way. Then when her new diaper is on, I kiss her right foot several times before tucking it into her outfit, and then I kiss her left foot and tuck it in. Diaper changing time is always full of smiles (except when her rash was so bad, and it’s gone now, thank goodness).
On Christmas Eve we each opened a gift. As I tore the paper on her gift, Claire began to laugh a rolling, from-the-belly laugh. I kept tearing, and she hooted like it was the funniest thing ever. She hadn’t laughed like that before. It was the most amazing experience and got us laughing too. Husband had the presence of mind to make a 30-second video of it. It’s a present to cherish.
For Christmahanakwanzayule, I want:
- to be freed of fear;
- to be freed of limitation;
- to be freed of doubt;
- to be freed of denial;
- to be freed of loneliness;
- to be freed of anger;
- to be freed of pain;
- to be freed of suffering;
in other words, not to be bound by my ego anymore. And:
- I want to take the love that comes my way, even if it comes from people I don’t relate to very well, whose values and choices I cannot fathom and don’t agree with.
I don’t think Santa can deliver these. They are gifts only I can give myself.
Failing that, I would like a massage and a new digital camera.