Category Archives: Nature

H-H-House

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Today we signed 30 years of our lives away and parted with our money! Yeehaa! Let’s hope we’re not fools. We certainly weren’t quickly or easily parted from it.

In California, you sign all the legal and mortgage paperwork and then they give you the keys later. We’ll legally have our house on May 4, and then the fun begins. Tenting for pests, small repairs, installing things, packing, packing, and more packing, sorting and donating, packing, and then moving. May will be a busy month.

And then we’ll nest. Bean already loves the back yard. I’ve got ideas for planting… and I must remind myself we have many years in which to do all these things.

Sometimes

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Some days I look at my child and am astounded that she has made another leap toward growing up. Today was such a day. She rarely permits me to “do” her hair, but today I insisted on trying pigtails, which she loved. But oh! She looked so much older with them, and her thoughts and speech are becoming increasingly sophisticated. Her imagination soars. I sit and watch her. I hang out with her and play. I soak in each moment that I’m capable of bringing my full attention to; it’s all going so fast, and once it’s gone, it’s just… gone. She was once a wee babe that I cherished, but that’s ancient history; yet I’m not sad because I paid attention to what she was then. I didn’t focus on a future time when she’d be walking, or telling stories, because I knew that would come and didn’t want to miss what was right in front of me. I’m so lucky to have this bit of wisdom by which to live (thanks to my mother and my friend, Karen), and I’m so lucky to be Bean’s mom.

having fun

Transition

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I’m dealing again with the fact that friendships are fluid; they serve for a time, and then they don’t. This is a challenge when it’s the other friend who decides to move on. It’s tempting to feel rejected, sad, angry, bitter, hurt. So I’m trying to sit with those feelings a bit — feel them, watch them, allow space to develop around them, and let them go. By dwelling in them I’ll be robbing myself of life now. I do feel a bit lonesome today, but I remind myself this will change, and that I have the ability to alter my perspective and to allow that feeling to dissipate.

Lately I’ve been preoccupied with a life transition and have been less in the loop with my playgroup. So it’s time to pick up the phone and try to arrange some dates with other mothers and their kids, and to forge some new friendships with acquaintances recently met.

On Keeping the Sabbath

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I just heard a fascinating interview on Fresh Air with Judith Shulevitz as the guest.

She has written a book about the history of the Jewish sabbath and also included a memoir about her own journey into keeping Sabbath customs. I found her lyrical and articulate, and her views impressed me. What I especially appreciate is the concept of resting as a community, and of stepping back from our attempt to manipulate and control the world for one day.

For one day each week, the Sabbath encourages us to enter into a moment outside of ordinary time and all the cares associated with it. I can’t do her ideas justice; it’s worth a listen.

Even for an agnostic such as me, it was worth a listen. And now I want to read the book. It resonates the way the Unplug campaign did. I found that the weekend I unplugged for one day, I felt more centered. Last weekend I did not unplug, and I felt I hadn’t even had a weekend!

Go here for more information and to listen to the interview.

Something About the Wind

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Something about the wind makes me feel alive…the seagulls and the sky…whether its sunny and bright or cloudy and grey or nighttime and I’m surrounded by vast darkness…I just feel…FULL. Full of love and energy….almost as though I’m porous and the wind soars through tiny holes in my body and I’m part of it all…the earth and the people and the relation of everything with everything…as though I don’t matter…but its not scary…its wonderful….i feel so free.
It’s the only time I’m not afraid to die. Cuz I can feel the wind and I know that I’ll always be a part of life…and the love and energy that are contained in my skin will be let loose into the wind and the world will just know how much I care and love and I will live forever.

–Eva Dien Brine Markvoort, 2006-2010

Eva was a lovely woman, full of spirit and beauty and fire, who battled Cystic Fibrosis and MRSA. She underwent a double lung transplant in 2007, but eventually her body rejected it. She went on the waiting list for another transplant. She fought to stay with this world until she could not. In February, she recorded this loving message to the world. She lived another six weeks, and died at age 25 on March 27, 2010. I’ve spent this morning reading the archives of her blog, looking at her photos, and marveling at how much life and love this young woman packed into her stay on earth. I wish I could have met her. I hope I can heed her words.

Click this link to see the movie, or watch it below. It might make you cry, but it’s important to listen. (And turn up the volume; her condition made her speak softly and slowly.)

Getting Away From It All Some Of It

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We want Bean to enjoy nature, and it can be a challenge to find unsullied open spaces close to home. Last weekend we went to Los Gatos Creek Trail to walk. We decided to try the trail head in Los Gatos proper. Well, first parking was a challenge. And then the many people biking and running made it difficult for Bean to pursue her own meandering path. But what was most intrusive was the traffic. This part of the creek trail runs alongside Highway 17, which at this location is a six lane highway.

So, Bean did get to see trees, smell flowers, and — thrill of thrills — stand at the creek side and throw stones into the water. She loved the ker-plunk sound and the splash. But it certainly wasn’t a pastoral experience. I believe I’ve hiked another part of the trail that was quieter; I need to find out where that entry point is.

Last night at dinner with some friends, a woman mentioned Penitencia Creek Park. I’d driven by it on my way to Alum Rock Park but not stopped. This morning on a whim I took Bean. This park, too, resides in the midst of urban life, but what a difference location can make! While we still heard traffic, sirens, and airplanes, it was all in the distance. The weather was gently warm and sunny. The creek burbled cheerfully as we walked by. Bean got to throw stones into it and to test what happens when you throw leaves into the water. (They rapidly float away!)

There is a pond in this large, green open space as well, and it is populated by Canadian and white geese, American Coots, and white as well as Mallard ducks. The pond is fringed with thick cattail plants which make a great landing spot for red-winged blackbirds to sit and sing. We saw a robin red-breast hunting for worms, and many fat squirrels chasing each other. And, while the trail was well-populated by people, it didn’t feel crowded. Bean found a large white duck feather which she used “to tickle the water” of the creek. And the best experience of all for her was an encounter with a small black caterpillar on the paved path. She enjoyed the feeling of it crawling over her fingers and declared, “Her name is Sam.” She put the caterpillar in the grass so it wouldn’t get squished.

As for me? For a change I felt my body relax with the release from all agendas; I was content to meander and look with Bean at whatever caught our eye. We spent a lovely hour there and came home content.

Not That I Need Reminding…

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But I am oh so lucky, fortunate, blessed; nature gave me the biggest gift of my life when I was 44:

Women are born with an average of one to two million eggs in their ovaries, which are shed monthly until menopause, with a 20-year old woman typically having 200,000 eggs.

That number halves as she enters her 30s and dwindles to as low as 2,000 after the age of 40.

–Physorg.com, New Blood Test Will Show Women’s Egg Levels

taking a break

Hunger Makes the Best Sauce

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So the common wisdom says. Apparently everything tastes good to the hungry palate.

But when sick, it’s hard to know one is hungry, because smell and taste are linked so closely; even a growling stomach feels muffled to some extent. Tonight I was able to taste my dinner. It was lovely.

I can mostly breathe, smell, and taste again. Almost 100% back to healthy.

And here is Bean, pretending to be a fire-breathing dragon. She’s become much more cooperative with the breathing treatments, especially if she has her father’s fancy phone to play plinky-plink on. Tomorrow we switch to the treatments being twice a day instead of every six hours.

a fire-breathing dragon

Bit By Bit

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I’m slowly recovering. I went to bed at 6:00 p.m. on Thursday, and with a few exceptions to get up and eat and check-in, have been unconscious for about 40 of the past 48 hours.

I miss my family. I miss my routine. I’m out of sync. Bean misses me, and so does Hub. I haven’t cooked in more than a week. (I can’t taste anything either.)

Normally I’m pretty hearty! Looking forward to being that way again.

Hub took Bean to a park. All she asks to do anymore is watch television. It’s as though she’s forgotten other things exist. But she is much much better, and was thrilled to leave the house. Her appetite is still small, but her breathing has improved and she coughs less.

I’m going to take a shower to rinse the lethargy off; I will summon some energy to be present for a little while this evening!

February Blah

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Bean seems to be slowly getting better. We now do the alubterol breathing treatment every six hours instead of four, round the clock. She’s fighting them mightily, so she must be getting better! She coughs less and her breathing is clearer — no wheezing. Her eating is still off, and she’s way addicted to the television now. When we’re all healthy we’ll tackle that. She wanted to go for a walk with Daddy yesterday evening but ran out of steam quickly.

Husband is on the tail end of his cold. I, however, caught it too and am in the thick of it. My upper jaw hurts because of sinus pressure. Bleh.

This will pass, and the sun while shine again. (It’s been gray here!)

Round Two

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Poor Bean. She has pneumonia again. This time, besides the antibiotic, we have been prescribed an Albuterol breathing treatment to give via mask every four hours until the follow-up visit on Thursday morning.

Here’s hoping it’s not asthma she is developing…

Husband is sick too with a cold. Where’s the vitamin C?? I should bathe in it.

Toe-Tapping Music

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On this rainy Saturday, with a feverish, coughing child, I stumbled across this peppy little video. For more of Kristin Andreassen’s music, lookie here! I learned about Kristen from a blog that’s new to me — One Person. Everyday — which, of course, I found via Patti Digh, of the blog called 37 Days.

If the embedded video doesn’t work, click here to see it.

Art Every Day Month – Day 29

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I experimented with polymer clay. The chocolate brown was deeper than I had in mind, so I added transparent gold paint and some green puff paint. It’s not as lightweight as a regular Art Card, but I like it nonetheless. It was a piece I could do while standing in the kitchen as Bean played nearby.

little flower - art every day month 09 - day 29

Little Flower / 2.5 x 3.5″ polymer clay with glass bead and acrylic paint

Art Every Day Month – Day 25

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I wanted contrast and intensity. I had random scraps. This is what came together!

butte - art every day month 09 - day 25

Mesa / 2.5 x 3.5″ collage

I wasn’t sure about the difference between a butte and a mesa, so I looked it up.

A mesa is an isolated, flat-topped hill or mountain with steep sides that is smaller in area than a plateau. A butte is also a flat-topped hill with steep sides, though smaller in area than a mesa. Definitions of the surface areas of mesas and buttes vary. One source states that a mesa has a surface area of less than 4 square miles (10 square kilometers), while a butte has a surface area less than 11,250 square feet (1,000 square meters). Another source states that the surface area of a mesa is larger than 1 square mile (2.59 square kilometers); the surface area of a butte is smaller than that dimension. Some simply define a mesa as a landform that is wider than it is high and a butte as one that is higher than it is wide.

—Science Clarified

There’s your science factoid for the day.