Category Archives: Education

Half a Year for My Little Bean

Wow! Six months have passed. So has a lifetime, it sometimes seems.

So what is notable about Bean at six months of age?

A week before she reached five months she began pulling off the bottle again, frustrated, and wanted to eat often. So I switched her to the bottle n*pples for six months+ of age. The first week the flow was a little fast, but she rapidly adjusted. She now consumes 25-31 ounces a day as opposed to her previous 19-24 ounces.
Sometimes during a feeding Bean “gargles” her milk. She does this because she enjoys the sound and is experimenting. She smiles with delight as she does it. Some of her feedings are casual, slow-paced, and very social. Other times she guzzles her milk.
She’s now coordinated enough to hold two rhythm sticks. She has even banged them together a few times.
Bean babbles and says “baba” and “gaga.”
She sits upright with support of pillows. Or when I sit behind her, she can sometimes sit without my support; I’m there “just in case.” She isn’t sitting all by herself yet, but she loves to sit.
Bean adores interacting with the baby in the mirror. She greets that baby with enthusiasm and smiles. She coos and babbles to her. I tell her that the little girl in the mirror is her best friend.
She enjoys peek-a-boo when I cover my face or her face (a scarf is especially fun). She’s yet to cover her own eyes purposefully, but loves the surprise.
We broke out some new toys recently, one of them being cloth blocks. I stacked them in a tower, and Bean discovered the wonder of knocking them over. She laughed each time during that first encounter. She’s beginning to learn cause and effect.
During a feeding, she will massage my face with the hand closest to me. She squeezes my chin and cheek, and pats my face. She will also rub her foot along the arm that is holding the bottle.
Bean is ticklish just under her chin. She’s also got a little mischief in her eyes, when she’s being silly with me.
I love her giggle and her full laugh.
Bean knows just what the camera is for; when it’s turned on she hams it up, and she loves watching movies of herself.
Bean is now mobile by rolling. A few weeks ago she rolled from her back to her stomach maybe half a dozen times; the past few days she’s just started rolling like a little stone.
She’s starting to creep her way across the room; it looks a little like swimming on dry land; she will get herself turned 180 degrees to grab another toy or to see me.
Bean spends a lot more time happily on her tummy. She’s especially willing when someone is down on the floor face-to-face with her, holding a toy or a book.
She outgrew her aquarium bouncer about four weeks ago — not physically, but mentally; she grew bored being in it.
She goes into a rapture when she’s put into her exer-saucer and is beginning to understand that when she pushes buttons, voices speak and music plays.
Bean enjoys being held in a standing position.
Bean now puts her head against my neck and nuzzles in, especially when she’s tired or upset. It generates a precious feeling in me.
She’s a champion drooler. No teeth yet.
Bean sucks her toes, plays with her feet.
She turns to hear new sounds or watch things move. She watches when objects are dropped.
Bean still naps in my arms. The last time we tried to transition to napping in the crib, we attempted for three days, three naps per day, which meant three hours of full-on crying and sobbing each day (her, not me, but I nearly went over the edge myself). Then she caught a cold. I don’t know when we’ll be ready to release each other (I’m just as attached to this, I think). My Pixie is a tenacious one.
Progress happens rapidly. At a play date Friday, she sat next to another little girl and they reached toward each other and babbled together. She’s becoming very social!

Beautiful Bean, you’ve grown so much in just six months! I look forward to discovering more of the world with you over the next half a year and beyond.

Concentration

Music Every Day

We want to provide Bean with a variety of musical exposure. The Music Together songs are an excellent start. We listen to a classical music radio station sometimes. And we have a huge collection of music on CD which is stored also on our computers. (Ain’t technology grand?) So I made seven CDs of music (no classical but pretty much everything else) to spice up every day life. We listen to regular rock stations too, but I like the idea of having personally created playlists for her. Husband made one for her the night we returned from the hospital; it’s called Bean Dance Mix. I haven’t listed that here, since it’s his compilation. If you’d like to see the (very long) list, you can see more. I’ll probably make more over time, since we have thousands of songs. (Ain’t technology grand?) Continue reading →

Punny

Developing a Taste for Literature

Babies Everywhere

On February 8th, our friends in upstate New York celebrated the first birthday of their son.

On February 8th, our friends who are Bean’s Emergency Backup Parents (guardians), welcomed their niece into the world (in Florida).

On February 10th, another couple (long-time friends who live locally) welcomed their daughter. We met her tonight. She is lovely, all 6 pounds and 13 ounces of her. It’s hard to believe Bean was that small not very long ago! Bean has a new playmate, though it will be a few months before either can appreciate this.

On the subject of babies, and relating to the previous post about breaking addictions since becoming a parent, I’ve released another attachment: to having bookshelves filled to the brim with books. I have two six-foot bookcases — one in the office and one in the living room. The one in the living room I have culled of all but either books I’ve not yet read (about 2 dozen) or books that are reference or have enough illustration to be interesting to little eyes someday. Onto all the other now-empty shelves will go things like the little boom box we use (on an upper shelf), random stuff like pens and paper, bibs, a page-a-day calendar, etc. that will not be able to sit close to the floor when Bean begins reaching and grabbing. We’ll also store some of her toys and books on the lower shelves. All of the culled books (the notches on my belt, you see, of my conquests) will be boxed and stored. I never re-read books. Too many new ones to read! And you know what? I’ll probably forget what’s in the boxes as soon as they are out of sight. What’s important is that I read them at some point.

123 Meme

This meme has been making the rounds. I’m not certain how I feel about the relevance of posting three sentences from a nearby book (and skipping the five preceding sentences), but what the heck.

I’ve been tagged by The Friendly Humanist for a new blog meme. Here are the rules:

Pick up the book nearest you with at least 123 pages. (No cheating!)
Turn to page 123.
Count the first five sentences.
Post the next three sentences.
Tag five other bloggers.

The book nearest me with at least 123 pages is a book I’ve had in queue for at least 10 years. I pulled it off the shelf the other day to think about reading it (so little time, so many books). Here are the sentences:

R’tu enabled the sisterly cooperation and dietary control women needed to successfully bear larger-brained babies. R’tu braided the mental, physical, and spiritual together in ever-expanding spirals of cultural expression. We thus led ourselves along the course of our evolution by enacting consciousness.

This begs the question: What is R’tu?

It’s a Sanskrit word. If Wikipedia is correct, it means:

Ritu (?tú) in Vedic Sanskrit refers to a fixed or appointed time, especially the proper time for sacrifice (yajna) or ritual in Vedic Religion. The word is so used in the Rigveda, the Yajurveda and the Atharvaveda. In Classical Sanskrit, it refers to an epoch or period, especially one of the six seasons of the year, Vasanta “spring”, Grishma “the hot season”, Varsha “the rainy season”, Sharad “autumn”, Hemant “winter”; and Shishir “the cool season”, or the menstrual cycle.

This link doesn’t define it, but it gives a sense of the concept’s importance in Sanskrit literature.

The book I used for the meme is Blood, Bread, and Roses: How Menstruation Created the World. Here is how the author defines the term.

Ritual, fromt Sanskrit r’tu, is any act of magic toward a purpose. Rita, means a proper course. Ri, meaning birth, is the root of red, pronounced “reed” in Old English and still in some modern English accents (New Zealand). R’tu means menstrual, suggesting that ritual began as menstrual acts. The root of r’tu is in “arithmetic” and “rhythm”; I hear it also in “art,” “theater,” and perhaps in “root” as well. The Sanskrit term is still alive in India, where goddess worship continues to keep r’tu alive in its menstrual senses; r’tu also refers to special acts of heterosexual intercourse immediately following menstruation, and also to specific time of year.

This should be an interesting book. The author, Judy Grahn, is an American poet, was a member of the Gay Women’s Liberation Group, helped establish The Women’s Press Collective in 1969, and is co-director of the Women’s Spirituality MA program and Program Director of the MFA in Creative Inquiry at the New College of California.

As for tagging others, I’m copping out on this one. I barely have the energy to finish this post, and I’d like to eat dinner. Besides, I don’t want to wear out my welcome with friends and recently tagged five people for another meme. If you want to play along, feel free, and leave a comment.

Recipe For Fun

Ingredients:

1 nearly five-month old baby
Pet store
Parakeets in a big cage
Yourself

Take the baby into the pet store and push the stroller in front of the parakeet cage. Tap gently on the cage containing about 12 blue, green, and yellow parakeets. Say the baby’s name to get her attention and encourage her to gaze toward the cage. Observe the baby observing the parakeets as they flit, screech, tweet, twitter, and hop from branch to dangling toys to feeder. Notice baby’s rapt attention. When she turns to you with her first smile of enjoyment, exclaim how fun it is, smile back, and act excited. Watch her smile and giggle, then turn her attention back to the birds, then look again at you giggling and smiling. Continue for as many minutes as the baby finds it interesting.

Savor. Have as many as helpings as you can as often as possible.

—

Other fun: machines that do nifty things such as clean rug spots by themselves. Now that our cat is becoming older and has more, ahem, stomach and potty issues, and now that we have a child who will soon be eating solids and who drools a lot now, this seemed like a good purchase.

Parenting Magazine

I recently began receiving Parenting magazine though I didn’t order it. So I assume it was a gift. The problem is, there was no card or any notification of this.

If you happen to have subscribed me, please email me and let me know. I’d like to thank whoever did this kindness!

It’s Full of… Stars!

Someone Please Stop Me

Please stop me from reading news reports like this from Florida:

A medical examiner found dozens of internal and external injuries on Ariana’s body. The infant had five new fractures on her ribs and more than a dozen old fractures. There was a hematoma and a cut on her spleen. Her liver was bruised, as was her jaw.

When questioned by a Polk County sheriff’s detective the day after Ariana died, Gomez-Romero said he was angry when his daughter was born because he wanted a son, reports said.

Gomez-Romero, who lives in Winter Haven, told a detective he called his daughter an “ugly girl, a prostitute and deny [sic] she was his daughter,” a Sheriff’s Office report said.

Gomez-Romero said he picked Ariana up by her hands to carry her. He said he spanked her several times out of anger because she would not stop crying.

When a detective asked Gomez-Romero what a 4-month-old could do to warrant such severe punishment, the report said he stated, “Nothing.”

“Gomez-Romero made it clear that his anger and hostility towards his daughter was due to the fact that she was a girl and he had wanted a son,” the sheriff’s report said.

Sheriff’s detectives also interviewed Ariana’s mother, Juana Rodriguez-Perez, who said Gomez-Romero would carry Ariana by her hands into the bedroom and close the door.

Shortly after, the report said, their daughter would begin to cry.

Rodriguez-Perez told the detective when she threatened to call the police on Ariana’s father, he would threaten to leave with their 2-year-old son.

Polk Dad Charged in Baby’s Death

The baby girl died Christmas Day.

Why do I read these? It doesn’t help the victim. It doesn’t help me. Is it to feed some pathetic “better than thou” insecurity in myself? Is it a voyeuristic impulse to look at a train wreck? I suppose knowing why doesn’t do much — the only way to spare myself is to simply stop reading. The world would be better served if I donated time, money, or effort to a cause that helped abused children.

Miscellaneous Bean Thoughts

On Thursday, Bean saw her doctor. She weighed 12 pounds, 8 ounces and measured 24.5 inches long. Just 18 days prior (when she went in because she was ill) she weighed 11 pounds, 3 ounces, so she’s gaining well. The doctor pronounced her beautifully healthy. Her Zantac prescription was increased according to her weight (she’s been pulling off the bottle and arching her back during meals recently again). If her discomfort isn’t allayed in seven days, we may need to “graduate” to a different medication. When she received her vaccinations this visit, her response was much different. At the two-month visit, she screamed as though we were sawing off her limbs; it was a scream of pain and betrayal. This time, she broke into deep-chested, rhythmic sobs, the cry of hurt and disappointment. She was soothed more quickly this time. She also had a stronger reaction to the vaccines — a slightly elevated temperature, fussiness, and lots of sleeping followed for 48 hours.

Some other things I notice about Bean but don’t think I’ve written:

When she is tired and in the swing or stroller, she sometimes stares at her left hand (her left hand only). She holds it with the thumb closest to her, as though she were about to suck it, except the hand is about four or five inches from her face. She stares intently for minutes.
Other times when Bean is tired (and in the stroller or swing), she turns her head to the right and closes her eyes.
She has switched from sucking several fingers to sucking her thumb.
She also chews and sucks on plastic letters that link together (teething?).
Her volume of drool has increased significantly. To help Bean recognize family members whom she doesn’t see often, I dug up photos and had them laminated. This way they will survive drool and whatever folding, spindling, or mutilating little hands manage to do.

Shortly I’ll be heading out to a baby shower for a friend who is due in February. Oh, I am remiss in mentioning that last week my friend Nathania, who assisted with Bean’s birth, gave birth to a beautiful daughter, Elinor Marjorie, on January 6. Bean will have friends to play with!

Meanwhile, we continue to listen to the Music Together CD from the class. I’m pleased with it — the songs are child-friendly but also enjoyable for adults. If you ask people who know me, they’d tell you that before Bean, they rarely heard me sing. Those who grew up with me would explain why: I can’t sing on key. At least, not without music to follow along to. Well, since Bean arrived I’ve improved. I started singing along with (and later without) the Disney children’s music CDs I bought. The more I sing, the better I’m able to hit the right notes. I also make up songs all the time. The Music Together songs are adapted to fit the vocal range for children, so they are accessible to me. Bean really enjoys being sung to and danced with. I’ve reached a point where I don’t care what other people think about my tone or pitch. She enjoys it, and that’s what matters. Sometimes I display musical competence (hit the right notes and keep correct rhythm) and sometimes I don’t, but it’s a skill, and skill doesn’t develop without practice. Most of all, I want Bean to enjoy listening to and making music, and to enjoy her body by moving it. Husband wants this too (he’s definitely got musical competence and played in high school marching band).

On a non-Bean related note, yesterday I made dinner (yes, again!). I made my first-ever pot roast (it cooked to delectable tenderness and created a yummy gravy), baked potatoes, and carrots with raisin sauce. We had friends over (Bean’s Emergency Backup Parents), and they brought champagne and a colorful salad. We savored it all, and later broke out a new came (a holiday gift from my parents) — Apples to Apples. What a fun and easy game! There are child-friendly versions (Kids and Junior) as well as a expansion decks. I believe it’s going to be a new favorite.

We Loved It!!

We attended our first Music Together class. Here’s a tidbit about MT:

Music Together is an internationally recognized early childhood music program for babies, toddlers, preschoolers, kindergarteners, and the adults who love them. First offered to the public in 1987, it pioneered the concept of a research-based, developmentally appropriate early childhood music curriculum that strongly emphasizes and facilitates adult involvement.

Music Together classes are based on the recognition that all children are musical. All children can learn to sing in tune, keep a beat, and participate with confidence in the music of our culture, provided that their early environment supports such learning.

The song book we received adds that musical competence in children is developed by experiencing music rather than learning concepts or information about music. This class is taught locally by Music for Families.

So there were ten kids and their mothers, and Bean was the youngest. The leader sang songs and did finger plays, and distributed instruments (sticks, castanets, tambourines) for the children to use. We also danced. It was fun and organized. The teacher was mindful of time and started right away. We also purchased additional materials — CDs to use at home or in the car and a song book. Bean loved every minute. We sat on the floor. She sat on my lap mostly as I rocked her or did hand movements. She was completely engaged the entire time, and immediately fell deeply asleep once in the car.

I’m looking forward to the ten weeks of this.

We also took another adventure later in the day to Whole Foods Market in Cupertino. It’s new and huge (reminds me of the one in Austin on 6th Street). She was fascinated with the sights, sounds, and smells. I felt such joy being out with her. She looks around, then looks at me and smiles. Yesterday we went to a nearby mall and into a fabric store. There were feather boas there, and I dangled some across her head and face. That got a happy response.

I love my Petite Eclair. She’s my yummy little buddy, so sweet and kissable.

I’ve Been Reading

Being There: The Benefits of a Stay-At-Home Parent
This short book discusses the issues of attachment disorder and behavioral problems that may arise from inconsistent care-giving provided in day care centers and by nannies at home. Its purpose is to provide a rationale for having one SAHP (stay-at-home parent) care for the child until at least 2-3 years of age, when the child is no longer in the pre-verbal stage. The book does provide supporting information from studies and reports as well as case studies. It also has a section providing financial ideas and solutions to help families make it feasible. It is definitely not a “feel-good” book. The author clearly states she is not against day care, just that most day care has so much staff turnover and that the frequent change of caregivers (even nannies) is damaging to infants. It’s a compelling book. If I needed reinforcement for my decision to stay home, this book is it.

Hot Flashes Warm Bottles: First-Time Mothers Over Forty
This book had once been on my wish list, and I’m so glad I borrowed it from the library instead. The basic thrust of the book is that women over 40 who have children face competing needs: those of their child versus their own “need” to assess their life purpose and explore themselves in solitude. It also focuses on how motherhood makes women feel frumpy and asexual, and how women over 40 become “invisible” in our culture; so it’s supposedly a double-whammy. Oh, and that women over 40 don’t have as much energy to give to their children because their bodies are aging. And that women over 40 have to deal with caring for aging parents as well as children. Well. My view on this is that a woman over 40 doesn’t typically become pregnant by accident for the first time; it’s often a conscious choice and frequently the result of expensive, painful fertility treatment. Women over 40 who never had a child before have had decades to find themselves, and by having a child they enter into a relationship where they understand they are trading solitude and autonomy for the joys and challenges of nurturing a human being. If you want time to still explore yourself in the second half of your life, then remain childless. As for grieving the loss of being the focus of wolf whistles and men’s appraising glances, this is something I don’t relate to, since being a sex object wasn’t important to me before, either. I’m not saying this is a bad book; it simply didn’t tell me anything new or interesting.

Motherhood Without Guilt: Being the Best Mother You Can Be and Feeling Great About It
A book full of questions submitted by mothers. This book might be helpful to women who are much younger and/or less insightful about who they are and what they want in life. Again, not a bad book, but one that covered issues I’ve either resolved or am aware I’ll need to contend with at some point, such as: You don’t have to be a good housekeeper or cook to be a good mom and taking care of yourself can be good for your whole family.
If you need validation or permission for being human and a mother (and who doesn’t now and then?), this book might be useful.

The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life
Of all the books, this one contained anecdotes that resonated. I still skimmed most of it, because it again told me nothing new. However, Lerner is a psychologist and pretty transparent when sharing her own experiences; she’s capable of a humility that drew me in. And the following did capture my attention:

Maybe love is the word we should be unraveling. I don’t believe in “unconditional love,” as it is conventionally prescribed for mothers like so much sentimental pap. Only highly evolved Zen Buddhists look at their difficult, out-of-control children and feel nothing but immense respect, openness, curiosity, and interest as to why the Universe has brought these small persons into their lives and what they are here to teach them. To achieve the transcendent state of unconditional love, it is best to have a cat, although even here you may discover your limits.

–Harriet Lerner

I suspect the Zen Buddhist mother I know would say that it is not achieving transcendence but rather the moment-by-moment process that matters, and that even Zen Buddhist mothers can feel frazzled and angry at times. However, I do like how Lerner summed up the question of whether children are worth the effort:

Children are never easy, so don’t bring them into the world or adopt them to bolster your happiness. And don’t have them if your life’s purpose is to dwell in complete stillness, serenity, and simplicity; or if you have a great dread of being interrupted; or if you are on a particular life path that demands your full attention and devotion. Also keep in mind that children are not a “solution.” As Anne Lamott reminds us, there is no problem for which children are the solution.

To opt for kids is to opt for chaos, complexity, turbulence, and truth. Kids will make you love them in a way you never thought possible. They will also confront you with all the painful and unsavory emotions that humans put so much energy into trying to avoid. Children will teach you about yourself and about what it’s like not to be up to the demands of the most important responsibility you’ll ever have. They’ll teach you that you are capable of deep compassion, and also that you are definitely not the nice, calm, competent, clear-thinking, highly evolved person you fancied yourself to be before you became a mother.

Your children will call on you to grow up. You will have the opportunity to achieve a more complex and textured view of your own mother. Your marriage, if it lasts, will be both deepened and strained. And whether you stay married or get divorced, the stakes are so much higher for how you navigate your part in the relationship with your child’s father.

…I also think that kids are the best teachers of life’s most profound spiritual lessons: that pain and suffering are as much a part of life as happiness and joy; that change and impermanence are all we can count on for sure; that we don’t really run the show; and that if we can’t find the maturity to surrender to these difficult truths, we’ll always be unhappy that our lives — and our children’s — aren’t turning out the way we expected or planned.

–Harriet Lerner

Hear, hear, sister!

This Is the Time of Day

…when I wish my husband would come striding through the door. Bean is tired, grumpy, sick of sleeping (in her swing, crib, wherever). She’s not hungry. Her “bedtime” is around 6:30-7:00, but until then she fusses. The volume isn’t at the top yet (yes, she does go to 11) — right now it’s grousing and whining sounds. But soon enough, it might end up breaking the eardrums.

Well, she napped until 3:30. My god but babies need a lot of sleep.

From the book I just started referring to (for ideas for play):

Children use 48% of their calorie intake to fuel their brain. Adults use 20%. A child’s brain is 2.5 times more active than an adult’s brain.

Ninety-five percent of the information our brains process come from our senses. Eighty-five percent comes from our vision, touch, and hearing.

–Pam Schiller, The Complete Resource Book for Infants: Over 700 Experiences for Children from Birth to 18 Months

LOL For Geeks

I’m sorry I’m posting so many images today (for those who have dial-up connection). But this tickled my geeky-bloggy funnybone. Since I’m a master of bad HTML coding, I must share. For those who don’t know, these are hexadecimal color codes used to make the pretty colors on the blogs you read.

moar funny pictures

P.S. I should post when I can now, right, because as soon as Pixie’s able to move on her own I’ll have no time to blog.

Yoga For Kids

The Yoga Adventure for Children: Playing, Dancing, Moving, Breathing, Relaxing, by Helen Purperhart

This is a clever little book. It’s simply written so that even a child can read and implement the instructions, and the drawings of poses are helpful. I also like organization of information. There are sections for breathing, yoga, visualization, etc. At the end of the book is a handy index showing which exercises and games require props and which don’t. The only device that isn’t as helpful and I found confusing was the way the exercises are identified by age group. The icons representing the four different groups look too similar, making it difficult to remember if it means the age group for ages 4-8, 4-12, 6-12, or 8-12. On the whole it’s a useful guide for teachers, parents, kids, and childcare providers.

It’s a little soon to begin with Bean, but I’ll definitely keep it in my library for later.

Pastimes

We don’t watch television anymore, at least not together. So right now I’m catching up on recorded episodes of Chuck. I also plan to catch up on Dirty Sexy Money eventually. However, I will probably pass on old episodes of Reaper. It’s kind of a replicate of Chuck (slacker guy with best buddy work in retail and have whacky adventures), but I think Chuck (the main character) is much hotter and more adorable. When I go to bed (in half an hour), Husband will have his much-needed quiet time (if our little girl will oblige him by staying asleep) and watch them too.

This evening I escaped for a few minutes to Barnes and Noble, where I indulged myself with the following:

What Mothers Do: Especially When It Looks Like Nothing (since I spend hours sitting in the rocking chair holding her, I need something to read)

Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind (recommended by Karen)

Walt Disney Records : Children’s Favorite Songs, Vol. 1: 25 Classic Tunes (because the only tune I can remember of late is Frére Jacques; I make up words as I sing to her, narrating our activities)

Bean’s colic is still… colicky. Husband came home and took over with Screaming Mimi. She’s so exhausted. As are we.

A Mindful Life / Kathryn Harper

express : discover : renew : create