Category Archives: Regional

Heaven

For the first time in a year, I got a massage. A few days ago I decided it was time. I looked on Craigslist, and among headlines such as

ULTRA MASSAGE ULTRA MASSAGE
Asian Man, CMT, Will Give You a Massage That You Can’t Forget
RELAXING FULL BODY MASSAGE DONE BY CUTE,BUSTY C.M.T ASHLEE

I found a listing that caught my attention:
Strong Soft Hands + Oil + Skill = The Proper Massage Mix . I read the ad and liked how the therapist described himself, provided feedback from clients, listed his fees, and included a photo. I immediately liked his face. He has kind eyes. I checked another link in the ad; this took me a massage directory that stated the following: “Courtesy reminder: Please do not contact the provider(s) below if you’re seeking any kind of sexual, illegal or inappropriate services.” I was halfway sold.

So I called. In our brief conversation I liked his voice and his communication style. I made an appointment for a one hour session. He lives and works about two miles from me. He works out of his home. What?! I went to the home of a man I don’t know? Despite past traumatic experiences, I did, in part because I trust my intuition absolutely now and I didn’t back then. I knew that if I felt uneasy I would leave instantly. I’ve had enough massages (at one point weekly) to know the protocol. I also know the neighborhood where he lives, that there is a preschool nearby and lots of people activity in the complex where he lives.

What followed was the most unusual massage I’ve ever had, but this doesn’t mean anything negative. The unusual aspects were:

1. He explained that he doesn’t have crystals and other new-age accessories because that’s not him, and the music he plays is different: BB King, Bonnie Raitt, Simon and Garfunkel, Joni Mitchell, Gordon Lightfoot, Willie Nelson, and Marvin Gaye are just a few. I enjoyed the change of pace from New Age Muzak (of which I own quite a bit and listen to; and no, the term “new age muzak” is not redunant!).

2. We talked through most of the massage. I got to know a bit about him personally: how he got into the profession, other work he’d done, how he met his wife, his cross-cultural marriage and experiences, his kids, and his memories of Binghamton, NY (he was very pleased to learn I grew up in Syracuse). I told him a bit about my life in Syracuse and Austin, my profession. We also communicated about the pressure and areas of pain; he was very responsive to each request. He lost track of time from talking so much, and he extended the session at no charge so he’d finish the massage properly. He was also honest and told me to be clear with him if he talked too much ever and I wanted quiet. While I usually do want quiet, I rather enjoyed the conversation as part of a getting acquainted process. If you’re going to let someone rub your body, it’s nice to know a little about who that person is, particularly if the therapist did not come personally recommended by a trusted friend.

3. He had the cutest little dog, a Pomperanian with a summer haircut, who is so attached to him that the dog (Copper) lay on the floor napping the whole time. A man with a sweet-natured dog is probably a decent man.

After the massage, he brought me a glass of water (after asking if I wanted room temperature or chilled) and gave me several minutes to collect myself. Then I paid him, we exchanged a hug, and I left feeling buoyant and relaxed — a hundred times better than I have in months, in fact. I plan to go back. If you live in the area, his name is Tony Drake.

This And That And The Other

Things that please me and make me a nice person to be around.

  1. The car engine light remains off and it’s running great.
  2. My car passed smog inspection.
  3. I got a free cup of coffee this afternoon when I happened upon a grand opening party of a new Starbucks in San Mateo.
  4. There was a musician performing for the party whose style and voice I found very striking. Her name is Katie Knipp.
  5. I spent an enjoyable evening packing safe sex kits for the AIDS program in San Mateo.
  6. I am scheduled to get a massage tomorrow (my annual trip).
  7. One of my new social groups at LibraryThing has taken off. It’s a group for people who like tea, of all things.
  8. The temperature is cool again.
  9. I had dinner with a friend and caught up over coffee at Borders while in SF yesterday. We hadn’t seen each other in nine months.
  10. I am eating fresh, sweet cherries as I write this post.
  11. I will attend the Collard Greens Festival on Saturday. It’s in East Palo Alto; if you live in the Bay Area, you should come! I can hardly wait to sample the collard green ice cream!
  12. As of August 1, I will have only three months of my service to complete.
  13. I have decided to let go of anxiety about what will happen next and just enjoy the abundant life I am blessed with.
  14. While the past week has been creatively quiet in terms of knitting and visual art, I wrote two poems for the first time in three months.
  15. This means that I’m “getting back on the horse again” after my dreadful experience with an online poetry forum and a raking over by one critic/troll in particular.
  16. Meanwhile I discovered some new books with techniques and bought some more supplies (rubber stamps, paper, ink), which has been like taking a super-creativity vitamin. My hands are itching to make something!
  17. There are brilliant, incisive, creative people out there, such as Ze Frank, who amuses me daily, and the occasional You Tube video such as Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis by Eric Schwartz (thanks to Emy for that one).

Things I Learned Today

  • That in California, your license can be revoked if you get 4 points in 12 months, 6 points in 24 months, or 8 points in 36 months.
  • That usually you get one point each ticket.
  • That many people are gallingly cavalier about speeding and treat driving school as a necessary evil. (One class participant got a ticket for driving 140 mph, though most were driving 30-40 miles over the whatever the limit was, in which case it was anywhere from 50-90 mph).
  • That I was a rarity in the class, since I’ve been driving 23 years and only this year have gotten a ticket.
  • That a DUI conviction now stays on your record for ten years.
  • That it is as dangerous to drive drowsy as it is to drive drunk.
  • That a train always has the right of way (and that only one-third of railroad intersections have gates and flashing lights).
  • That we drive faster in fog because we have no visual references and usually don’t dare check the speedometer, which of course is highly dangerous.
  • That most driving fatalities are caused by one (or more) of these three factors: speeding, driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or not wearing a seatbelt.

Yep, I spent my day (8.5 hours) on an uncomfortable chair in a bland conference room (pretentiously called the Consulate Room) listening to the instructor’s painfully lame jokes and watching an occasionally interesting video. The last thing I learned:

I hope never to have to do this again.

P.S. It was 102 104 degrees!

Gasp

It’s 102 degrees (39 Celsius) here at the moment. After coffee with a friend this morning, I made a beeline for home and took a nap. I’m so grateful this house has air conditioning (we’re still running it pretty warm, around 79 degrees). It’s the kind of day for a good book, a cold drink, and as little movement as possible.

I checked the weather for Austin. Only 82 degrees there! (And they may get some rain.) It’s not fair!

Hot Air, Amusements, and Irritations

Today, Friday July 21, has been another Spare the Air Day. I worked from home rather than drive in to Milpitas. Unfortunately, tomorrow will also be a Spare the Air day. (Public transportation will not be free, however.) The Bay Area Air Quality Management District has now used all six of the budgeted free travel for poor air days, but the season doesn’t end until mid-October. I’m supposing they will continue to announce such days and ask people to take public transportation but won’t offer the incentive of free travel, which is significant. I saved $13.50 yesterday. (Cost as well as length of commute are the reasons I don’t work in SF full-time.)

Last night I had tickets to a Giants game, where I got to see Barry Bonds hit his 722nd home run. This was followed by two more home runs by Ray Durham and Pedro Feliz (and overall, I find three home runs in a row more impressive than Bonds adding one more notch to his baseball bat). I had excellent seats — the third row from the very top, which is nosebleed heaven for some. However, the direction I faced afforded a beautiful view of the bay. My friend Nathania took photos, one of the bay and another of the playing field.

While there I discovered that I am gustatorily fond of Gilroy garlic fries. For about $6 you get a huge helping of fries dressed with oil, chopped parsely, and at least three minced garlic cloves (probably more). They are heaven to taste, and they have, of course, a potent bouquet. I’m sure I’m sweating eau de garlic today. Husband practically fell over when I kissed him (he did not attend the game).

Also, since it was a Stitch n Pitch event, I got a totebag with yarn and free size 17 needles. The only thing I would do differently next year is arrange to bring a friend. I am acquainted with several people who work at the local yarn store where I bought my ticket, and I mistakenly assumed we’d be a bunch of women all sitting together. Most people attending were women who brought their husbands and/or kids, and I was the only solitary fan. I chatted a bit with the woman sitting next to me, and I admit I felt a tad lonely.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt lonely. And this also led me to wonder why. What is it about my disposition that I generate this experience? Why do I not find friendship everywhere, as some people do? There are two factors at play. One is my introversion. Instead of being an exuberant, mellow person, I experience myself as turned inward, reticent, and detached. This detachment is the writer in me observing my surroundings and experience, paying attention so that I can write about it later (especially as a poem). I have found that when I am immersed in something completely, I am not thinking about it — I am it. I have yet to manage to both pay attention to details and experience a situation fully at the same time.

Then there is the fact that I struggle with judgment more than I care to admit — arrogant irritation over what I perceive as the stupidity of people. For example, there’s the person who jeopardizes my life by driving 90 mph on highway 101 and passes on the right. Or the person at the state agency I call to ask a question about the complaint process for car mechanics interrupting me to say, “Ma’am, I can’t advise you, blahblahblah” when I’ve barely started to ask my question and who keeps talking over me until I pause and say, with irritation, “Will you please let me speak?” Or the stadium worker who sends me in the wrong direction when I’m trying to find my seat and another worker tells me to head back in the direction from which I came. Or the bank representative who doesn’t listen when I call and ask, “What do I need to do to close the XYZ certificate of deposit I have?” and who instead just tells me I have this CD for X amount of dollars due in 2011. I knew that. My question is how to convert it back to regular savings. And this goes on for several rounds before he understands the question. When people respond by reflex and rote, I experience forehead-smacking frustration with their rigidity. It’s not only the rigidity per se that gets to me (i.e., my view that people “ought” to be more attentive), it’s the fact that the response interferes with and delays with the accomplishment of my task (my single-minded drive to get what I want when I want, which is a selfish position).

The world is brimming with irritants. I can either rise to the occasion and experience them, or find a way to flow through them and discover amusement. I tend to fail at the “go with the flow” attitude. And really, all it does is diminish my quality of life and no one else’s. Perhaps some of this can be attributed to hormonal tides, but I am not a prisoner of my biology, at least not completely.

I find my inherent misanthropy disconcerting. Really, sometimes I wonder if I’m a much kinder person on my blog than I truly am. It’s been observed of me that I love humanity (in that I want to help it) but I don’t like people all that much. There’s an uncomfortable ring of truth in that.

My Car Is No Longer Driving Me Crazy

My car is fixed! (You can read about the most recent incident here and about the history here.) There’s a story behind it, but I’ll say up front (in case you don’t want the gory details) that I love my mechanic. I love his full-volume passion for cars, his integrity, his competence. If I were to take an auto mechanics class, I’d want him as my instructor, and I think I’d actually enjoy the subject. If you need your car repaired, you ought to go to him. The shop is All Automotive at 2622 Bayshore Parkway (right off Highway 101) in Mountain View. The marvelous mechanic is Terry Bayegan. Tell him I sent ya.

Continue reading →

Spare the Air

Tomorrow, July 20, will be a spare the air day in the Bay Area. The ground-level ozone (smog) has been worse of late because of the high temperatures and no wind. Things you can do tomorrow to help:

On Spare the Air Days, we ask Bay Area residents to fight pollution by driving less, taking public transportation, trip-linking, walking, biking, choosing not to use gasoline-powered lawn and garden equipment, and avoiding polluting household products. People who are especially sensitive to pollution are advised to limit their time outdoors, particularly in the afternoon hours.

Travel is free all day on the following Bay Area transportation providers:
ACE
AC Transit
AirBART
Alameda Harbor Bay
Alameda Oakland Ferry
BART
Benicia Breeze
Caltrain
Cloverdale Transit
County Connection
Dumbarton Express
Emery Go Round
Fairfield/Suisun Transit
Golden Gate Ferry
Golden Gate Transit
Muni
Petaluma Transit
Rio Vista Delta Breeze
SamTrans
Santa Rosa CityBus
Sonoma County Transit
Tri Delta Transit
Union City Transit
Vacaville City Coach
VTA
The VINE
WestCAT
Wheel

You can learn more about air quality management at the Bay Area Air Quality Management District as well.

San Francisco Days, San Francisco Nights

Monday afternoon around 3 p.m. my supervisor came to me and a coworker and asked if we’d like to see Chris Isaak in concert that night. She had two tickets but couldn’t attend. Believe me, we scrambled to arrange our schedules! I hadn’t been to a live music event in years. It was held at Mountain Winery. After a long, hot, smoggy day, it was refreshing to be on top of a mountain feeling a cool evening breeze. It’s an outdoor venue with a stunning view of the valley.

We had excellent seats, situated only 30 feet from the stage. He is quite a flirt with the audience, especially the women. He played obscure songs, and of course he played the ones for which he’s famous, all while wearing a pink wool suit — except for the encore, when he came back out on stage in a black suit clad with little mirrors (pants as well as jacket). He and the band wandered through the crowd as they played, and he had wonderful connection with the audience. It was a lovely treat. He finished up with San Francisco Days.

I may have to go back to hear other artists (I missed the Indigo Girls and Lyle Lovett, unfortunately). It would be great to hear the Gipsy Kings, Boz Scaggs, Big Head Todd & the Monster, Toad the Wet Sprocket, B.B. King, k.d. lang, or Susan Tesdeschi. And the venue also features Foreigner, Heart, Olivia Newton John, Chicago, & Huey Lewis & the News, Peter Frampton – who knew all those acts were still seeing action? (I mean, Foreigner?! Peter Frampton?! They are so 70s — I feel ancient thinking about it.)

And if one wanted humor instead of music, they’ve got George Carlin, Bill Maher, and Dennis Miller coming also. Drool.

I think I owe my boss a lunch for this!

P.S. Even Elvis made an appearance. 🙂

Illustration Friday: Skyline

illustration friday: skyline

Life in California / 7×9″ collage on sketch paper

The IF topic for the week got me thinking about where I live. There’s a gorgeous world outside juxtaposed against the world of technology, which encourages staying indoors on one’s butt. The early bird gets the dollar — or hundreds of dollars, taking into account the cost of living.

Shooting Stars, A Creative License, and Everyday Matters

I’ve discovered an interesting blog that synthesizes mindfulness and just about everything else. Evelyn Rodriguez of Crossroads Dispatches does an excellent job quilting together a variety of ideas from a wide arrays of sources and providing her perspective. In a recent post reflecting on a study that announced how much more isolated we are becoming, the following grabbed me by the shirt-tail. I am compelled to share.

We live in an age where we collect ‘friends’ like trading cards on MySpace, Tribe, LinkedIn (David Sifry’s quip), and as in any age it is habitual to keep the bolt of our heart fastened. I know in my own life I’ve said I want intimacy, but I’ve often run in the opposite direction. My therapist was my close confidant four years ago. (Less than the whopping average of 2.08 the study cites – thank god for those fractional friends!)

Today I easily count at least eight extremely close friends; friends I can count on to discuss the bread and wine of life, and ones that would share their last dollar with me as I with them if need be.

Paradoxically, at the same time every person that enters my life in person, however briefly, be it in line for a jasmine green tea with tapioca pearls at the mall or sitting across from me at Peet’s or riding BART into the city enters my life like a momentary shooting star and is my best friend at least while they are in my presence, even though we may never meet again physically, tangibly, they have my full attention now. I’ve had conversations on near-death experiences, God, sex, unconditional love, divorce, heartbreak, art, everything under the moon with complete strangers on a weekly, and damn near daily, basis of late.

So-called strangers, momentary shooting stars, kindred spirits, while not counted among our 2.08 confidants, give me the felt sense that if time and space were unbounded, every being in the world could become my dearest cherished friend.

—Everyone’s Famous to 2.08 Friends

Evelyn also comments on the trend among her blogging community away from trying to track the hundreds of great blogs daily. It’s true for me as well. I am religious about checking on about one dozen blogs on a daily basis. I track many more via Bloglines, but I sometimes wait until a number of posts accrue before I visit. There just isn’t time to read them all and actually live my life. Evelyn notes, “p.s. You don’t track your friends.”

As for the concept of momentary shooting star friends (a wonderful metaphor!) is admit that I am often closed tightly to these opportunities. Yet I have longed to be more open, and when I was younger, I often was. What prevents me from encountering people in this way? Compassion fatigue? Fear of too much (whatever that would be)? Selfishness?

—
It’s a slow day at work when I am writing this post. I am alone in the office. The phone rang. An elderly woman who doesn’t drive, whose son died in March, and whose husband has cancer was referred to Hands On Bay Area from another agency because she needs transportation assistance. That agency clearly doesn’t understand what we do, because we don’t provide a service like that. I explained, and she said, “I guess they just told me this to get me off the phone.” Being the knowledge geek that I am, I quickly searched the web for Meals on Wheels, because I remembered the one in Austin had a transportation service as well as a grocery shopping service (they didn’t just deliver hot meals). Apparently the Austin agency is the only MOW that offers this. I felt for her, so I took her number and said I’d do a little research on her behalf. She sounded so relieved. She’s been calling number after number without success. A Google search reveals a paucity of services in the Peninsula (or if services exist, they require needle-in-a-haystack searching). She lives less than 8 miles north of the MOW in Menlo Park, but they don’t serve Belmont. Calling the alternate number on their site for her area got me to another agency that also doesn’t serve Belmont, but I was given another phone number that might prove fruitful. I will call her back and give her the information and hope that one of them will be useful. She sounded worn and overwhelmed.

An entire generation of people will create a canyon of need in just a few years, and communities are woefully unprepared to help home-bound and low-income seniors navigate life in a car-based culture.

—
It occurred to me as I wrote the vignette above that I just had a “shooting star” type of encounter. Perhaps by slowing down, observing, and opening my heart just a bit more, I can have more of these without being overwhelmed.

Another reason this is all a-stir for me is that I’m reading a marvelous (and I mean that!) book given to me by Cicada (thank you, dear woman) that focuses on slowing down and truly seeing one’s life, and recording it in illustrated journals. It’s called The Creative License: Giving Yourself Permission to be the Artist You Truly Are by Danny Gregory. He wrote another book I’d love to read, Everyday Matters; it’s a visual memoir. His stance is that the ordinariness of life is chock full of riches and wonder if we just pay attention and take a little time to record what we experience. He has a wonderful blog as well, which features a group called Everyday Matters where people participate in weekly drawing challenges; people post the images on Flickr. When I encounter such books encouraging people to embrace the concept of being creative themselves, my gut flutters with a sense of urgency, a recognition that I too want to nurture people’s creativity. I don’t know how or when, but I do know it’s becoming imperative, a calling of sorts.

The trip to Austin was a clarifying experience for me. It made me realize that I must let go of the idea of returning there to live. We moved here tentatively and I put my therapy profession on hold but kept my license. Attending the continuing education courses required to keep my license active reminds me of the fact that I cannot practice my profession here, and my energy and time could be used otherwise. Holding onto this vestige of my profession is one factor preventing me from living fully in the present. I’m going to contact the Texas licensing board and find out what I need to do to put change my status and put my license on hiatus (I was told that’s possible). Someday perhaps we’ll move to another state that does offer reciprocity, and I can return to that. But not now. And this job ends in October, which means opportunities abound. Whatever is next will include creativity somehow. I’m trading in one license for another…

For the Memories

fleur-de-lis

This item was used at the weddings of two sets of friends. It was originally painted white. Traditional colors associated with New Orleans are green and gold. One of the friends is a native of New Orleans, and the couples both attended Mardi Gras in 2006. It will reside on a bookshelf as a fitting token of remembrance of their joyful unions.

Simply Good

I sit on my couch with a spritely glass of Pinot Grigio from Sonoma beside me, infused with feelings of contentment. Today was the type of day that made me feel gloriously alive.

I left the South Bay at 8 a.m. with my colleague to pick up my other colleagues in San Francisco. As AmeriCorps members, one task we have is to get together twice a month to develop skills and our connection in the community. This month we decided on an outing to St. Anthony Farm. This farm, located 15 miles west of Petaluma, provides free residential drug and alcohol rehabilitation services. The farm is 315 acres and operates an organic commercial dairy and an organic garden. Residents work in these or on other facilities jobs.

The day dawned cool and foggy. The two hour drive zoomed by while we all talked. When we arrived, we were given a tour of the center and the farm. I got to commune with newly born calves who adored a gentle head scratch. Many of them were hungry. They sucked my fingers eagerly. They also sucked my elbows and attempted to nurse off my t-shirt!

We were scheduled to work in the organic garden. The woman who manages it was earthy (what else would one expect?) and friendly. Our task was to dig ditches. Rather than double-dig to plant pumpkins, the dirt we dug up was tossed to one side or the other. Then we raked that dirt smooth, and it is in this that she will plant. At one point we all took a break. The air was light; the fog had burned off, leaving a blue sky with malleable clouds. I lay down, nestled into the grass, and felt my muscles relax.

The garden manager had left and when she returned she brought her two dogs. They bounded over to and on top of me, licking my face and arms and goosing my ears with their noses. I sat up laughing, and the gardener called them off with an apology. None was needed, of course. I haven’t been greeted that exuberantly in a long time! The reason she had gone was to pick us some carrots and rinse them. They were sweet, crisp, and delectable. The dogs buddied up to me and begged for a taste, which they of course received.

We left after that to eat lunch in Petaluma. There I gave a small presentation on Keirsey-Bates and Myers-Briggs personality theory. We meandered through the town and browsed a few shops, then headed home around 4:00.

Once home, I cooked up some fresh organic vegetables that my colleague had given me, added pink salmon and rice, and sat down with Husband for supper. Since she’ll be on vacation next week, she offered me the chance to pick up her share of organic produce they purchase from Live Earth Farm.

Oh, and we received happy news that the Austin friends whose wedding we attended will be relocating to the Bay Area this summer! It’s a big change for them — we just went through it two years ago. (Amazing, that it’s already been that long!)

The dishwasher churns through its task. The cats lounge nearby. A rented movie awaits. I finished a knitting project and have new ones to start (with just-bought yarn). I’m engrossed in a fascinating novel. Tomorrow is Art Day — I will make some. The air is cool, and I am pleased.

Getting Grounded

To cut to the chase: our direct flight from Austin (3.5 hours) that was to have gotten us home yesterday by 6:30 p.m. did not happen.

Flights were very late arriving (the rainy Eastern weather?), so our flight was delayed an hour. Then the plane arrived, but we didn’t board for another 45 minutes. When we all boarded, the plane turned out to have a bad hydraulic pump, so they ushered us off to wait for another one.

We “made do” by having Salt Lick as our farewell dinner (the Austin airport is one of the nicest airports to hang around in, if one must). We washed down the sausage and brisket with Shiner Bock.

We did get home yesterday, at least — we landed at 11:45 p.m. We were bloody tired!

Once we got home, the cats greeted us felicitously. We were wired and hungry and on Central time, so when we finally got to bed at 2 a.m., our bodies told us it was 4 a.m.

Today was a day of nesting: food shopping, mopping, vacuuming, watering plants, sorting recyclables, unpacking. I was to work up in San Francisco from 8 a.m. to 9 p.m., but I decided regaining a sense of equilibrium was a priority. I also had to pick up my car. All the mechanic did is replace the oxygen sensor for the third time. He said he couldn’t find anything else wrong. We’ll see. Even if the light does come on again, I’m done with this particular service station.

It was a wonderful visit! I got to see close friends, was treated to Austin cuisine (Magnolia’s, Kerbey Lane, Mirabelle, Rudy’s, El Mercado, Sampaio’s, and of course the Salt Lick), hung out with family, and had a lot of fun at the wedding. Dancing! Drinking! Dining! Dilly-dallying! Oh, and I spent a fair amount of time (and money) at Hill Country Weavers. I even persuaded one friend to take up crochet again. (Heh heh heh… welcome to the addiction!)

And yes, my birthday (the day of the wedding) was special. I’m still celebrating. 🙂

Mmm, Salt Lick Here We Come

We leave today for Austin, beloved roasting hot Austin, to make merry with friends and family, and to attend the wedding of some friends. Our first stop this evening is a meal at The Salt Lick.

I won’t be around much in the next week, but I prepped some tidbits to give you something to ponder and maybe smile at.

Wanted: Machine Washable Yarn

Do you have oddball yarn left over from past projects or a miscellaneous skein you don’t want? I’ll take them off your hands! I am looking for donations of machine washable yarn to make small blankets for animals in shelters. DK weight, worsted weight, bulky and super-bulky yarn is great (novelty yarns don’t wear well). If you are local, please let me know and I’ll coordinate the yarn pickup. If you don’t live in the Bay Area, I’m willing to pay the shipping cost. Contact me for my snail mail address.

Please spread the word about the Snuggles Project. It’s a great idea. It’s also the reason I’m seeking yarn. I am coordinating a monthly group gathering with Hands On Bay Area, and the Snuggles we make will go to the Peninsula Humane Society & SPCA.

[cross-posted at Knit Together]