Category Archives: Regional

Proof of the Visitor From Afar

Last week my cousin-once-removed visited me for the first time before heading to L.A. to see family. Today he came back through and spent the afternoon and evening. I really enjoyed seeing him; we went to a Barefoot Coffee Roasters to hang out and then to Cosentino’s for dinner fixings. I made a recipe from a cookbook that he sent me last year. The recipe for our dinner can be found here. It was tasty! Husband took the photo below. Next year: Alaska!

my cousin-once-removed bill & me 2006

Visitor From Afar

Yesterday I had a first-time visit with my mother’s cousin (which makes him my second cousin, yes?). He had come from Alaska, where he’s lived over three decades, to visit another relative in Berkeley regarding family genealogy. He’s a frequent visitor to and commenter on this blog, and we’ve been corresponding for a couple of years. So it was a joy to flesh out the relationship literally with in-person conversation over tea. We talked four hours: about family history, life, God, science, death and the possibility of existence after. You know, just a few light topics. He’s widely read and an information maven as I am. He also spoke encouragingly of my quest for a child. I can use all the positive interaction as possible around this. It’s rather nice to hear someone assert that my wish can come true.

On his way back from L.A., where he’s gone to visit another relative for the weekend, he’ll come for another visit Monday in the afternoon, and Husband and I will host dinner. Then he heads back to Alaska the 12th.

Someday I’d like to visit Alaska.

You never know where life will take you… At 23 I had no clue I’d be living in California (nor a desire to). I never imagined I might go to Europe (which I did) or visit a relative in Alaska. So I’m left to wonder what type of interesting and fun things I’ll be doing at 63 that just don’t occur to me now.

When you look back, are you surprised at the turns your path has taken? What are some things you’ve experienced or are part of your life now that you’d never in a million years have imagined for yourself?

Even More Beautiful Than The Photo

I would not normally have chosen this colorway. I had a yarn emergency (showed up for social knitting at Purlescence having forgotten my supplies). From first glance it looked boring. As I knit it up, however, it worked into a lovely, subtle array of earthy shades of brown, green, and purple. It will be a gift for someone cherished.

nutmeg scarf

2 skeins (120 meters each) of Colinette Cadenza 100% DK merino wool, colorway Castagna (Nutmeg); size 6 needles; the Yarn Harlot stitch

‘Nother Day

Well, whatever funk hit me yesterday held off today (or disappeared?). Last evening I went to Purlescence for social knit. About eight women were there. It felt good to knit and listen, interjecting a question or thought occasionally. We talked about knitting, our work, family. Toward the end of the evening I mentioned I had much needed to get out of the house. They inquired as to why, and I shared a bit about my life, receiving comforting words of encouragement on the child issue and a reminder to be kind to myself.

Today I focused on tasks that I dearly want to cross off my list. I also went for an early morning walk; later I walked to the Mission Library where I met my learner for two hours, and it was a productive session. On the walk home I had an idea for making some ornaments out of leftover polymer clay. I took a half an hour to listen to my hypnosis CD (I now readily relax into it, and it does have a positive effect on my motivation to exercise). I wrapped presents, vacuumed the entire house, and started a tomato sauce with hot Italian turkey sausage. It’s simmering merrily along, filling the house with basil and oregano and garlic perfume.

In half an hour Husband will be home, and M is coming over for dinner (his wife is still visiting relatives, so he’s “batching it”).

Maybe I should avoid stores and malls this month. That’s what seemed to trigger melancholy.

Tomorrow I’m taking a knitting class (yes, another), and then I’ll lead the HOBA Lend a Hand with Snuggles for Animals project. I’ll spend five hours at the yarn store tomorrow. That’s dangerous for the wallet!

In the Spirit of the Season?

At 6 a.m. this morning in Times Square, a line of shoppers several hundred deep burst through the doors of Toys “R” Us and promptly formed a second, equally long line to buy the season’s must-have product: T.M.X. Elmo.

The standard, morning-after-Thanksgiving retail behavior ensued — pushing, shouting, grabbing — until the dolls sold out and a frustrated crowd of Elmo-less consumers fanned out across the store in search of a substitute.

—Shoppers Mob Malls for Holiday Discounts

I suppose this is nothing new, but I’m always amazed (appalled?) at how the intended spirit of the season gets buried under an avalanche of greed.

As for me, I did get up at 6 a.m. to go to a store to shop. It was at Purlescence Yarns, which my friends opened October 14. It was called a Pajama Jammy-Jam sale. The staff did wore their jammies, as did a few of the customers. If you arrived between 6-7 a.m., everything was 30% off; 7-8 a.m. it was 25% off, 8-9 a.m. 20% off, etc. They weren’t sure they’d get more than a handful of customers. When I pulled up at 6:20, the parking lot was nearly full and the store was positively jammed. (No pun intended!) They had coffee, tea, and spiced cider. Everyone was cheerful and courteous, discussing with complete strangers what they might make with a skein or two of a particular yarn, or exclaiming over the softness of the luxury yarns. I, um, didn’t make it out of the store without dropping a bundle. (Shhhh, don’t tell Husband.) But I did walk away having saved $73! I easily spent what I did on some clothing a few months ago, so why not yarn (and a book on Victorian lace knitting)? I’ve got yarn for five different projects: a hat, a lap blanket, a shawl, socks, and a scarf. All useful. Right?

I wavered quite a bit over what to buy, but fellow knitters are nothing if not addicts and enablers when it comes to fiber and anything related to it. I had plenty of encouragement. Resistance was futile.

It was an altogether lovely way to spend the morning.

[cross-posted at Knit Together]

Another Blog To Play With

I attended my last tutor training session today. We shared our experiences meeting with our learners and discussed ways we can proceed. In the process we learned that one of the program directors recently created a weblog, though she’s unfamiliar with the technology. It’s an infant blog right now, but it has potential. I spoke up and said I’d be interested in helping to develop it, write posts, increase readership, etc. This is my first “plug” to launch the blog. It’s regionally focused, but the intention is to make it relevant to anyone interested in literacy issues.

Literacy Tutor Connection

Veteran’s Day

graves in national cemetery, bath, new york

This is a photo of graves in the national cemetery in Bath, New York. I took it last year in September when I went to visit my folks.

These veterans are lined up in death as they were in service, except for headstones that stand at attention on their behalf. My paternal grandfather is a veteran who died in World War II. I wrote about him last year, and it’s worth a reprise. Please do read it, if you didn’t last year. In this way he will be remembered just a little bit longer.

Sea Change

Okay, it’s 2:45 a.m. and the Senate races aren’t going to be called anytime soon. I’ve got my fingers crossed (so to speak).

I suppose I ought to get some sleep instead. I’m really, truly pleased about the House races and am thrilled there’s a woman Speaker of the House.

And while we still have The Governator (Angelides was a cipher), I’m pleased to see the shift towards Dems in the governorships across the states.

My First Day

It felt weird not having to be up and someplace by a certain time today. I am again faced with almost boundless time in which to do whatever I want, and I’m experiencing the slight overwhelm of deciding where to start. I could:

make art
get groceries
read
return phone calls
go to the specialist to make the consultation appointment
clean house
do laundry
organize my desk and pay bills
cast on a new knitting project
water plants and neaten the garden
take a walk or bike ride
work on my resume

But first, I could use some coffee.
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I’m really excited about two things. I just got a phone call that I may be matched with a learner; we need to meet each other and see how we feel. I also have an appointment next week to meet with the ED at Vision Literacy to discuss how I might be able to help.

Art Every Day Month – Day 4

Friday was a Big Day — the last day of my job. Lots of emotion. Saying goodbye is hard. We started the day with an all-staff meeting, which we hadn’t had in a long time. Working in a small, intense non-profit means working with people who talk sincerely, who share personally, and who cry together. It was that kind of day. I coped partly by drawing in my Moleskine, which isn’t the best medium for artwork (unless you have the unlined version). But sometimes ya just gotta draw. I came home and added color pencil. This is also for Illustration Friday; the topic this week is “smoke.” I had started another doodle depicting a person emerging from smoke, but then I sketched this. The wildfires in southern California came to mind. It’s been in the news, since the latest was started by arson and killed five firefighters.

art everyday month 06 - day 4 - the wildfire

“The Wildfire” / 3.5 x 5″ moleskine grid paper with pen and colored pencil

Random Thoughts On The Past Ten Months

My supervisor asked me to send her a few bullet points on the things I feel I gained or realized over this service year. This is what came from the tip of my fingers:

  • I decided to devote my energy to and focus on education and literacy issues. This is a biggie! I met the Executive Director of Vision Literacy a couple weeks ago at the first tutor training session, and I stopped in today for an impromptu chat. (Their office is in the same business complex in Milpitas.) It turned into a meeting about how I might be able to help with assessments — a learning opportunity in the making. She was thrilled, said she felt like she’d gotten a windfall. We set up a time to meet on the 14th, and I have homework to do (sites to visit, material to read). I’m not certain how this will take shape, but we found we had a lot of common interests. Perhaps I have found a mentor.
  • I was updating the agency accomplishments list, and as I did I noticed that I achieved a lot this year. I started nine new monthly projects in my regions. I organized 17 one-off projects that helped us establish new agency relationships and enhance existing ones as their needs arose. I did public speaking to youth and at college and company fairs. There’s more. I learned that I accomplished much more for the agency than I realized.
  • I realized how much I resist All Things Corporate. I was not enthused about having to “be the face” of the agency at the projects we coordinated for corporations. Mostly this was because it required more travel to SF and my presence was superfluous, since the corporation had project leaders who communicated with the agency already. I need to change this attitude if I want to work in a larger non-profit role someday. But for now I’ll put it in my pocket as something I need to consider.
  • I became ever more aware of a driving need to create and that it makes me happy, and that I try to sneak it into my work life any way I can: knitting projects, painting projects, making donation boxes and triptyches, etc.
  • I am starting a life coach practice. I will focus on career coaching, “creativity for mortals,” and conversational English and cultural coaching for people working here from other countries. Depending on what happens with my family planning experiences, I may eventually coach or provide support for people dealing with fertility issues.
  • I learned more about the Bay Area and actually got familiar with lots of places I had previously not explored. I also learned I don’t like long commutes for a job, though I don’t mind occasional day trip adventures.
  • I decided I am ready to become more involved in an established community, in this case the Palo Alto UU Church. I want to start a “listening ministry” there, where I’ll train members to provide non-judgmental listening to fellow members in need of a good ear. We’ll see if I can get on board and how receptive folks are to the idea.
  • I met some awesome people in the agency and out. I feel as though I truly live here now.

There’s more, but these are good epiphanies to start.

Homework

The doctor visit brought sobering news. It’s time to see a fertility specialist. I’m angry with the doctor. Last July when I miscarried his response was, “Oh, a lot of women miscarry. You’re lucky you got pregnant at your age. Go home and keep trying.” At my second miscarriage I was concerned and asked if there were tests to be done, but we talked only on the phone and he didn’t seem to think a second miscarriage was a big deal (lots of women have a couple and then successfully conceive). This recent meeting he was blunt, and he said that I was getting to the point of no return (in so many words), and that each year I’m decreasing my chances of having my own child by half. If we want to have a child, we must seek treatment yesterday. When I mentioned his advice from last year, he explained that he felt bad about that, but that it didn’t feel right to tell a woman who just lost a pregnancy, “OH by the way, you’re old too.” But if he had addressed it, we would have acted much sooner. The thing is, the doctor didn’t even remember he ORDERED the FSH test, which I took October 3. He began to explain I could get the test done, and I pointed out it had been, and he looked and said, “Oh, so it was. There are the results.” I know he’s a busy man, but he could have freaking LOOKED at my record to prepare for our visit. My FSH is 10.6, and it should be around 7 or 8. FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) is what tells the ovary to release another egg. The higher it is, the more this means that my body needs a “louder” prompt to get an egg out.

I’ll be getting some counseling over the next few weeks to work through some of this. I’ll also receive EMDR treatment so that the trauma of my pregnancy losses don’t weigh as heavily. The EMDR will also focus on releasing a deeply held negative belief about myself that I have struggled with for years and have worked through to some degree. Only now it’s arising again. I’m open to the concept of EMDR; there seems to be reasonable clinical proof of its efficacy. The bottom line is I want to be a mother more than I realized, and yet I am nearly paralyzed with fear of allowing myself to feel my desire, because I am terrified that I will not survive the disappointment if my efforts to become a parent fail.

We are reading books too:

We have a lot of research and thinking to do, and some major decisions ahead of us. We’ll be seeing a specialist as soon as possible, and that’s probably all there will be to share for some time.
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Meanwhile, I started training today to become an adult literacy tutor. My text (which looks yummy) is LITSTART: Strategies for Adult Literacy and ESL Tutors. The trainers are delightful and this highly motivated group made for interesting discussion for the six-hour first session. I’ll attend the second session next Saturday. I also trained on Friday to become a library ambassador for the San Jose Public Library. This will involve my attending parent open houses at elementary schools to inform parents about their local library branch and the services offered (such as homework help). In November I’ll begin assisting with the Even Start program in Santa Clara; I’ll work with ESL students to practice speaking using role-playing techniques, so they can function more confidently in the world (at the store, doctor’s office, etc.).

When I’m not reading and doing the above, I’ve been knitting a lot. I made my sister-in-law a tea cozy. I’m working on a Snuggles blanket for the shelter. I made a baby hat. And I’m working on a healing shawl for a friend recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The shawl is the priority right now. I also bought Knitting for Peace: Make the World a Better Place One Stitch at a Time, as it has good, basic patterns, and I like the concept of supporting peace (proceeds go to charity). There are lots of ways to knit for charity; this book presents some (along with their histories).
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Work has been a bit less hectic now that HOBA Day is over. I’m winding down my tasks, preparing to transfer them to my successors. My last day is November 3rd. I feel a little sad about this. At the same time, I’m jazzed about the clarity and focus I feel regarding literacy work. I’ve also got plans to do some baking. I love to bake but certainly don’t need the cookies around the house. Fortunately for me, my friends recently opened Purlescence Yarns, and they’d love to offer my treats to customers. It works well for all of us. I’ll be seeing some friends, knitting, making art, reading, volunteering, and relaxing. Somewhere in there I expect I’ll be seeing doctors fairly often. I have no doubt that I will fill my time.

Tomorrow we will go hiking at Muir Woods with friends. It should be a gorgeous day trip, and I’m looking forward to it!