Category Archives: Recreation

Growth Spurt

Today Claire is 16 weeks old (nearly 4 months), and she graduated to wearing clothes for 3-6 months of age. We guess she weighs 12 pounds by now. The clothes are a little baggy on her, as she’s still long for her age but not roly-poly.

Fortunately, we have plenty of clothes for this age/size range: 12 long-sleeved/long-legged sleep-n-plays; 8 long-sleeved/short-legged onesies; 12 short-sleeved/short-legged onesies. The unfortunate thing is we have a huge wardrobe of outfits for 0-3 months that we never used, mostly because they were for summer season and she was born in the fall, and some because they were impractical. Denim overalls with flowers embroidered on them are cute, but they make changing a baby’s diaper an act of frustration for all involved. Many of these outfits were gifts, so we’ll bestow them on friends who are expecting in the spring. Claire pretty much lives in onesies and sleep-n-play outfits.

When she was ill the past few weeks, her good sleep habits went awry. The last two nights she woke frequently shortly after being fed. And I still need to work on a) putting her in the crib for the last portion of her night sleep (5-8 a.m.) and naps, and/or b) if she sleeps in her swing, getting her accustomed to motionless sleep, which supposedly promotes deeper, more restful snoozing.

Some things Claire enjoys:

  • Her face being tickled by my wet hair after I shower.
  • Being put on a blanket and rolled from side to side.
  • Practicing sit-ups by lying on a blanket and being pulled gently to a sitting position on the floor.
  • Kicking an inflatable beach ball while in her bouncer.
  • Staring at pinwheels I bought for her and put in flower pots on the back deck (and one pinwheel I use inside).
  • Being read to; she snuggles on our laps and looks at the book as we read. She even reaches out to touch the book, especially if it’s a touch-and-feel book.
  • “Singing” herself to sleep (her creaky door serenades).
  • Being kissed on her feet, tummy, face, and head.
  • Splashing Daddy and the bathroom sink and floor during her bath.
  • Chewing on toys, fingers (anyone’s), and cold teethers.
  • Sitting up on a lap like a big girl at the dining table while we eat (she can hold her head steady for a good length of time).
  • Having lively cooing and babbling conversations with us.
  • Being sung to; some of her favorites are Home On the Range, A Bicycle Built for Two, Do-Re-Mi, Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
  • Plastering her world with drool.
  • Smiling and giggling, and being smiled at; she smiles with her whole body — waves her arms, wriggles, kicks her legs.

Tucked Away

Normally I put up holiday decorations the day after Thanksgiving and put them all away on New Year’s Day. This year I didn’t adorn the house until December 8th and, desperate for floor space again, we packed the tree and other items up yesterday afternoon. All our presents are living in their appropriate places for use and enjoyment. There will come a time when we loll in the afterglow of the holiday, with the tree and presents still stacked around once opened. But we’ve got tummy time to do, and rolling over to practice! And new toys to play with and books to read, of course.

I was reading The Book of New Family Traditions, and I realized Claire and I have a diaper-changing ritual that has simply evolved over time. When we head to her room for a change, I sing a little song: “Claire needs a clean (or dry) diaper (three times), yes she does, yes she does!” I sing that a few times on the way. Then when her new diaper is on, I kiss her right foot several times before tucking it into her outfit, and then I kiss her left foot and tuck it in. Diaper changing time is always full of smiles (except when her rash was so bad, and it’s gone now, thank goodness).

On Christmas Eve we each opened a gift. As I tore the paper on her gift, Claire began to laugh a rolling, from-the-belly laugh. I kept tearing, and she hooted like it was the funniest thing ever. She hadn’t laughed like that before. It was the most amazing experience and got us laughing too. Husband had the presence of mind to make a 30-second video of it. It’s a present to cherish.

Merry Krismas!

Yes, that’s the term. As a non-Christian I am aware that much of the mythology I cherish about Christmas isn’t the religious aspect. My focus is on the light, feasting, generosity, and goodwill. Well, there’s a movement afoot for those of us who celebrate this time of year but without the religion: Krismas!

From the website one of the founders, Jacob Walker, explains:

Krismas is a secular holiday that celebrates the myth of Kris Kringle, commonly known as Santa Claus. It happens on December 25th of each year, and is also closely associated with Krismas Eve which occurs December 24th. Krismas is part of the “12 Days of Secular Celebration.”

Krismas is about celebrating most of the modern mythologies surrounding Christmas, except for the mythology of the birth of Jesus as a savior.

Krismas is about giving gifts, especially those “from the heart”; it is about the magic of childhood; it is about peace on earth; and it is about goodwill towards humankind, and anything else you wish it to mean that does not involve the Jesus as a savior bit.

I loved Christmas growing up. I treasure those memories. I treasure the mythology of Santa Claus, Rudolph, Elves, etc. I treasure the idea of giving gifts, the beauty of Christmas lights and the smell of Christmas trees. This is what Christmas was about to me. These are the secular mythologies and symbols that we have made Christmas about.

Read another page about Krismas.

[I thank Dale for posting about this and wish him a hearty Merry Krismas!]

Hibernation

I felt woozy the past couple of days. Every time I stood up or got up from the floor, the blood would rush from my head, I’d hear ringing in my ears, and the edge of my vision would go white. I also felt hot but not feverish, as though the room was just too warm. I was a little dizzy — not room-spinning dizzy, just off-balance. I thought perhaps that, being sleep deprived, I’d also neglected eating decently. So I ate a hearty meal and took a three hour nap yesterday. (Thanks to my MIL, or that would not have been possible.) I awoke still feeling weird, called my doctor, and they fit me in.

After a brief visit and two blood-pressure readings (one sitting and the other standing), the preliminary diagnosis was simply dehydration. I drink enough water, or so I think, but apparently not. My blood pressure dropped significantly when I moved from sitting to standing. It had been awhile since I saw him, so the doctor also ordered blood tests: anemia, blood sugar, thyroid, vitamin B12, and cholesterol, just to be sure. I went home, drank a quart of water, and I did feel much better.

However, I still feel a little funky. Possibly this is just exhaustion. Husband came home last night commenting that he too felt a little woozy. I ran an errand last night to Baby Depot, where I searched for long-sleeved bodysuits (no legs) in a slightly larger size, as Claire is getting too big for the ones she has and we’re still using the legless outfits because she’s being changed so frequently. I found one package and made my way toward the registers. When I saw the line of customers snaking out the front of the store (probably 75 people in line) and two registers open, I promptly returned the package to its location and left. I thought: what folly to have attempted this! Yet it had seemed so important I get out to find these. I returned home empty-handed and rued having wasted the gas, time, and effort.

Today it is rainy. There are no errands to run. It’s a good stay to stay indoors to read and play and nap. Claire’s bottom is better (not entirely but much), and the tummy problems are slowly clearing up. She’s still not feeling up to a lot of play. We’ve done a lot of cuddling.

How interesting that this is a season of pushing ourselves to make merry, do more more more, decorate, buy gifts we hope will please and impress, when it’s the very time of year our bodies want to rest. Winter is a season of restoration. Yes, we need reminders that the light will return, and it’s enjoyable to see twinkly colored lights everywhere, but a little bit goes a long way. How can you enjoy it if you’re busy fighting for a parking space? Stay home. Nestle in. Put on your jammies and make a cup of cocoa. Maybe bake a batch of cookies (no need to make 15 different kinds; one will do). Let yourself sleep when your body is tired. Eat when you’re hungry. Give yourself over to the real season.

Axial Tilt is the Reason for the Season

A Christmas Gift Like No Other

Update: New photos of Claire on Flickr!

One year ago today I learned I was pregnant. For those who haven’t been reading my blog long (or who might have forgotten), here’s the back story. After two miscarriages in 2005, we tried in 2006. I became nervous about the lack of progress, and Husband and I decided to see a fertility specialist. (My husband is ten years younger and had not the sense of urgency I felt about the waning opportunity.) On November 13 we met with the doctor, who advised that because of my “advanced maternal age,” the likelihood of successful in vitro conception with my own eggs was less than 10% per attempt. In other words, my eggs were old, tired, dried up, and probably rife with genetic misinformation. Those were bad odds, so I made peace with the idea of using egg donation. We agreed to have testing done (for both of us) and begin in January.

A week later I had another FSH hormone test done which showed the levels to be normal (the previous one had been a “tad” high at 11). The specialist wanted another, more invasive test done to check the health of my uterus, but my HMO insurance would not cover it because the specialist was out of network. No problem; we switched to a more expensive PPO for 2007 and would wait to do the test then.

Then we proceeded to just live. My period came and went at the end of November. I relaxed knowing we would be doing something constructive in the near future and focused on preparing for my favorite holiday.

On this day last year, I was having tea with Eileen. I had not been feeling my best the previous week. I felt bloated, tired, a little green around the edges sometimes, and had to pee every five minutes (at least, it felt that often). During tea I confided to Eileen and wistfully said, “I really wish I were pregnant. These are the same signs from past pregnancies. I would prefer not to go through the torment that is in vitro.” She agreed that this would be a preferable, happier outcome.

After tea I came home to a letter from our landlords asking us to vacate the house by mid-February. This was completely unexpected. We knew the house was intended for their son someday, but we had the impression that “someday” was years off. Yet we’d also been talking about moving, because the house was one room shy of enough space for a child. Well, this was a fortuitous kick in the pants to get started, because…

I still had one pregnancy test left from the last package. That night on a whim I took it. My attitude was: Well, I may as well use this up. I’m not pregnant, I’m sure, but what the heck. Then I saw. TWO LINES!!! Holy macaroni! Oh, the confirmation line wasn’t strong, but it was there. I was stunned. I ran into the other room waving the wand in Husband’s face. He was tentatively thrilled. We agreed, though, that we’d act like this wasn’t a big deal and say nothing until after we’d passed eight weeks (the latest I’d miscarried). But my oh my, look what a present I ended up with!

Later in the week I took two more home pregnancy tests, each with a stronger result. Then one day I had cramping and spotting. I resigned myself to the probability of miscarriage. It turned out that was implantation bleeding, and this was a good thing. We departed for Syracuse to spend holiday with family, and upon arriving home December 30th, morning sickness arrived full-blown and all day long. (We house-hunted throughout that time. You don’t think Pixie will be hearing about that in later years, do you?) It wasn’t until we saw the OB in my 11th week that we fully relaxed into the reality of this, but we didn’t share the news with family officially until after week 12 (some from my side guessed during the holidays at week 6, but we did not discuss it), and with the rest of the world until after week 18. It was very difficult to remain mum about this, but I’m glad we did; it made the sharing quite enjoyable.

So this year, I’ve decided I want a million dollars. Just one million will do. 😉

(Not really. I wrote about what I want for Christmahanakwanzayule.)

In closing, how fitting, then, that this evening I’ll attend the baby shower for my friend Nathania, who knew about my pregnancy losses, my fear, my hope and my joy, and who in her second trimester assisted my labor and the arrival of Claire.

Can’t Talk Now. Sleeping. (I Wish)

My darling dumpling daughter is waking around 4:15 a.m. the past few days. I’m taking those feedings. It makes for a long day, even if I get a nap, which I don’t usually.

I’m grateful my MIL is cooking or I’d starve and be much crankier. I also think my exhaustion is related to PMS (I didn’t miss that when pregnant!).

Anyhow, other than the painfully early arising, Claire is adorable. We stopped the transition to the regular formula and the next day she was cheerful again. Today I made her giggle! Every day she is more aware and awake, more amazing. She can hold her head steady now. She loves to sit with support. She devours her fingers and is already quite drooly. She can’t be teething yet! Right? Today she grabbed my nose with her hand and wriggled happily when I talked in a funny voice after.

I don’t know what she weighs now, but her 0-3 month clothing fits her just right.

—

Today and yesterday I had the California Shopping Experience while looking for three things. (This is my and Husband’s term for the fact that any item one really wants/needs to purchase is destined not to be easily found, because stores here just don’t have the warehouse space to stock things. Two days ago I had to search three stores to find a can of Claire’s formula.) I finally found two of them and a substitute for the third.

The first thing I looked for were two more Zyliss Quick-Blend Shakers. We have two, and I wanted two more — one set to be in the dishwasher at day’s end and another to have the next day’s milk. These are handy, because they fit on a blender and mix the hypoallergenic formula well. I finally found them at a Bed Bath & Beyond in South San Jose (the Santa Clara one where I got the first two didn’t have them anymore). After the second failed attempt I got smart and called a couple stores first. Is it pathetic that I searched so hard for these? Maybe. I know it’s compulsive. Maybe what is pathetic is that I am so pleased to have them.

The other two items I wanted were ingredients for making a soup my brother recently made and emailed about. The recipe calls for Sopressata and Abruzzese sausage, which he said are commonly available. Maybe in Austin, dude! I had to go to two different stores just to find Sopressata last night. Today I went to three stores for the Abruzzese, the last of which was Zanotto’s Italian grocery. I figured they’d have it. Well, they’d never heard of it. However, because it’s family-owned, they give a damn. So the staff researched it on the Internet and came back to tell me it’s a region in central Italy. Zanotto’s owners are from northern Italy (Venice), and I was told different dialects mean that the same thing may be called by several names. In the end I described what I wanted to make and they sold me Salametti, which might do the job just as well. I hope so (though I’ll have to compensate for the absence of the spiciness of Abruzzese). I simmered a chicken carcass and smoked ham shank to make the stock today. The soup itself takes two more days. I hope it’s as sublime as he promised.

Now please say goodnight and wish me sweet dreams, because I’m due to be up in about seven hours.

Backtracking

We think the formula change from hypo-allergenic to normal isn’t working. She’s been increasingly fussy the past few days. It could also be that she’s not getting enough day sleep, and Grandma is here, and the world is full of lights, and she’s just growing. But we’re switching back, for the sake of her comfort and my sanity. Husband isn’t convinced, but who’s alone with her (usually) all day long?

Meanwhile, for your paradigm-busting pleasure, and for info junkies, saunter on over to the blog Strange Maps. I’ve not dared do this yet, as I have a child to care for and she’ll starve if I do. 😉

[Thanks (I think) to Dale for the lead to the link.]

A Good Man

I feel like a bit of a heel. Husband, though he has to work today, was willing to arise at 4:45 a.m. to feed Claire, despite the fact I’m “on duty” as of 5 a.m. Not only that, but yesterday he vacuumed all the sawdust out of the attic (courtesy of the roofers) in order to retrieve the Christmas decoration boxes. Then he put up the tree and helped me string it with lights. After that, he fixed my computer. Oh, and this was all yesterday, and he then he took the feedings and beddings from 6 p.m. onward.

So why did I not get up a bit early? Well, aside from the fact I’ve been doing that for several days (she’s taken to waking to eat just before 5 a.m. now), it’s the fact that I didn’t want to. I was tired and sleepy. Even though I was in bed and asleep by 8 p.m. last night. The thing is, the past few days I can barely stand up after 6 p.m. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the fact I arise in the dark and then darkness falls early, but I had trouble stringing words into sentences last night at dinner. I felt very, very cross with raw nerves and was desperate for sleep. And it’s not as though I did much during the day!

So shortly after 5 a.m. I went down to him and Claire and apologized for being too lame to get up, since I was now wide awake (my usual time anymore). He said not to worry. I changed her and he rocked her back to sleep. I’m sitting in the living room with coffee. Usually at this time, Claire is with me, sleeping in her swing.

Oh, the tree is up. We shoved furniture over into corners and removed a couple of baby things. I truly enjoyed decorating it, and Claire was fascinated watching. I used fewer ornaments than in the past. We put presents under it because Stella wanted to chew the electrical cord. (I don’t know why, but that’s what lures her these days.) I left a lot of decorations in the boxes. We have a tree and some lights, and that’s just plenty.

christmas tree 2007

A Little Merry & Bright

It’s the dark season. I need light.

Two strands of garland: $1.98
One string of mini-lights: $2.00
Pleasure derived and sanity maintained: Priceless

christmas 2007 window

I also strung one set of lights (minus the garland) in the office room window. Heck, when Stella goes to use the catbox, doesn’t she deserve a little beauty too? 😉

This was easy and stress-free to do. Someone reminded me that small is beautiful and wished me to have myself a Merry LITTLE Christmas. Ahhh, permission. (I may, I might, still put up the tree. But only if the idea of it provides joy to me and triggers a sense of relaxation. Husband is waiting while I mull it over until next weekend. Well, he told me to wait, and since he’s the one who knows where the stuff is stored and has the strength to pull it out, I’m compelled to oblige.)

Last Call

Why has it been so hard to give something away? (I suppose it’s the requirement of reciprocity or “paying forward” that is the obstacle. But the requirement need not be daunting.)

There is one more space for a participant in the giving meme I posted some days ago. Here it is again:

By the end of the calendar year, I will send a tangible, physical gift to each of the first five bloggers to comment here. The catch? Each person must make the same offer on her/his blog.

Four people took up the offer. (One has not provided a mailing address yet, however, so if I never get a response, there will be two more spots open.)

Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Please, if you don’t have a blog, don’t leave a comment on this post. Others will assume by the number of comments that the spaces are full. And only comment if you want to play.