Category Archives: Motherhood

All Through The House

After reading three different versions of The Night Before Christmas about 20 times each today (which I did willingly and happily), sweet Bean is now asleep. She is too young to understand who Santa is or what Christmas is really about, but our little parrot spent the day repeating Santa and (with prompting) Merry Christmas. It comes out sounding more like Mewy Cwithmah. Quite charming!

She sampled two spoons of my clam chowder. A simple supper of French bread and clam chowder on Christmas Eve is a family tradition from my childhood which Husband has enjoyed adopting. As I write this, I’m listening to the radio, a classical music station with symphonic Christmas music. A small glass of eggnog is at my side. Husband is upstairs wrapping the rest of his presents to me. All of the others are wrapped.

I’ve also explored Norad Tracks Santa. It’s a lot of fun even for adults. Click on the small presents and a little box with a photo of the location pops up. There are places — little atolls and countries — that I never knew existed. There’s also video footage of Santa traveling and a narrative about what he’s doing. Oh! I must remember to leave out cookies and a glass of milk for Santa too.

Sweet dreams of sugar plums, everyone!

Change In An Instant

I just learned today that my good friend who has a two-month-old baby (Baby G) was in a bad car accident on Saturday. Her baby is fine and so is her husband, but she was moved to a hospital in Oakland for surgery. She has a smashed kneecap, a smashed tibia, a broken rib, and a broken collarbone (which needs a pin put in). She’s in surgery today for her knee and collarbone. At the end of the week she may go home if she can maneuver herself into a wheelchair, but if not, she’ll have to go to a rehab facility for awhile. Her came mother-in-law came from out of town and is watching the baby right now.

She called me today to let me know and unburden herself. We’d given our infant car seat to them, and that was what Baby G was in when the accident occurred. It will need to be replaced, and she said they’d be getting the same one. My friend was trying to be brave, to focus on the fact it could have been so much worse. Yes, it could have been, yet it is also pretty bad right now. She is without her child. She is pumping her milk in an attempt not to lose it. She has a long road to physical healing. She will have to somehow care for her baby and herself once she’s home, and she’ll need a lot of support (professional and informal friend support).

It’s the kind of thing that happens all the time to someone. It’s just not someone I know. So I’m a little aquiver from the news.

Manifestation

It’s been entirely too long since I’ve sat down to write. Bean’s four molars are still cutting, and when she’s awake she is clingy with me. But she has changed remarkably — every day there is greater comprehension, and we are astonished. I want to make a note of this, so here’s a quick list.

  • One morning, I pulled out her construction trucks puzzle and noticed the concrete mixer piece was missing. I commented on this, saying I wondered where it went. Immediately Bean began digging into a basket full of stuffed animal toys and pulled out the piece. Maybe she put it there the previous day for some reason?
  • Bean increasingly asks “Doing?” as she watches us. Sometimes she’ll say “Mommy doing?” (or Daddy), and we’ll describe what it is we are doing: loading the dishwasher, eating lunch, reading mail, etc.
  • She has cute little one-piece footed pajamas; one of them has pigs all over. As I dressed her the other night, she began to kiss the piggies. Bean loves to kiss: pictures of animals in books, her stuffed animals, Stella cat, us, her friends. She’d kiss dogs and cats she meets if we’d let her. I’ve never seen such an affectionate child.
  • Speaking of affection, I had special moment with her the other morning. I was sitting on the kitchen floor where we’d been playing. Bean had walked away but I hadn’t stood up yet. I was resting. My back was toward her, and she walked up to me. She leaned against my back, nuzzled her head against my neck, and patted my arm. It was a deliberate moment of expressed affection that she initiated. It was the first time, and I just wanted to hold her forever and kiss her to pieces for that.
  • Bean is game to say any word or phrase if you say, “Can you say [fill in the blank]?” We always say “I love you” to each other and to her, and the other day I asked her if she could say that. And she did (slightly garbled but still). I think she understands what this means too, because once I said “I love you” to her and she came over to give me a kiss. Another time, when I was putting her down for a nap, I said it, and she said it in response.
  • Bean also likes to play a game called “I gitchoo!” She walks around saying this, and I chase her on my hands and knees while she runs away squealing. Then she turns and runs towards me so I can “get her,” which results in squeals of delight. I hug, kiss, and tickle her, and she loves it. She initiates this game often.
  • Peering around corners or furniture and saying, “I see you!” is another game she likes to play. And if she can stand on anything (even a book), she likes to announce that she is “up high” over and over again.
  • Until recently, according to Bean dogs said “Bow.” In that past two days, she says dogs go “bow wow.” And she calls them dogs now (where “bow” was the word for dog and their sound).

There is more, but this is all I can think of right now.

I’ve created a problem situation for us, however. Over time, Bean has come to drink milk only from a bottle and only lying in my arms. I had not pushed getting to milk in a sippy cup (she drinks water from a sippy) because she was so small and ate so little that I wanted to be sure she got a good amount of calories daily. I was supposed to have her off bottle by the time she turned 15 months. (But then the handout I was given at that appointment said to have them off the bottle by 18 months, and I’ve heard some children don’t give up the bottle until 24 months. However, the pediatrician said to get her off by 18 months, and Husband wants to follow that.)

Anyhow, any time we offer milk in a sippy a terrible storm occurs. She screams, cries, stomps her feet, bangs her head on stuff, rolls on the ground, and is generally inconsolable. Since her molars have been cutting, she has increased her use of the bottle for comfort. She often demands milk and walks to the kitchen. She will only drink it if I hold her (handing her the bottle is unacceptable); sometimes she drinks a significant amount but usually she has only 2-3 ounces. I do continually offer milk in a sippy cup (we’ve tried several types and brands), but she rejects it.

I keep rationalizing. Her mouth hurts, she needs comfort. It’s the holidays, I don’t want to have a lousy Christmas with temper tantrums. Her grandma is coming for a week at the end of the month, I want to wait until after that. My friend and her daughter, Fia, are returning January 8 from a trip. She’d offered to take the bottles and store them to keep temptation out of reach. So Husband and I agreed we would take the bottles away on January 10th. I know that the longer I wait the more set in her ways she becomes. It’s going to be rough for however long it takes. I talk to her about being a big girl and not a baby anymore, and about how big girls use cups. Several times she has said “Baby! Baby!” and clung to me. And believe me, we have a lot of cuddle time during the day. It’s not as though losing the bottle will mean losing cuddle. I’ve even held her while offering the cup, but this is met with an arched back and screaming.

As with the napping in the crib, Bean and I have to negotiate this. It starts with me acting like the adult, like the… oh my gosh, the parent.

and then what happened?

Soup For Dinner

We were so busy today. Bean loves to “cook soup” and pretend to eat off the spoon. I take sips from the spoon too. She then feeds her stuffed animals. Every time she has a taste she says, “mmMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm!” She looks so proud of herself when she stirs. This afternoon she plunked herself in the pot, and I had the presence of mind to grab the camera.

Bean soup

P.S. I opted for the nap — got 50 minutes of a light doze. There are still walnuts with my name written on them, and they will soon find their way down my gullet.

What To Do, What To Do?

Bean finally went down for a nap. I now can:

a) take a snooze on the sofa myself.
b) try to accomplish the 12,345 things on my list.
c) eat some sugared walnuts to manage stress.
d) b & c

There are no other choices. Pick one. The answer is worth 100 points.

All I Want For Christmas

…is for Bean’s four molars to come through and ease up the pain for her. Poor kid.

Also: this year, for the first time in probably 10 years, I do not expect to get the holiday cards in the mail. They might be late, or might not be sent at all. And you know what? Christmas will still happen.

So Much Fun

We had a lot of fun in San Francisco. We started later than planned and took the car instead of Caltrain, because Bean was cranky and had a slight fever in the morning, and Husband has been sick. I wanted to see how things would settle out. But it seemed okay to leave them, and we arrived around 10:30. It was very chilly and breezy, but the sun was out, so we walked from the AT&T stadium (where we parked) up the Embarcadero for awhile. Then we caught the MUNI and went to Fisherman’s Wharf.

We ate New England clam chowder in a bread bowl, then did some shopping for gifts. Then we hiked a few blocks to look at some art at Lahaina Gallery (my eyes almost popped out of my head when I heard the prices). We looked at a couple of works by Dario Campanile — Il Banchetto (which I really liked) and La Tazza Blu. We also looked at originals and prints from James Scoppettone (the photo on the site doesn’t do justice to the vivid painting). Since we didn’t have a spare $17,000 for the original or $3,000 for a limited edition canvas giclée print, we left without purchasing anything. Then we walked to Ghirardelli Square for hot chocolate and yummies.

Then it was back to the Wharf for dinner and a little more shopping. We ate at Neptune’s Palace and saw the sunset. We had a perfect view of the bay and Alcatraz. From the angle we sat, the island looks like a large tanker ship. Then we got a trolley to MUNI and took that back to the car. We were home by 7:15 p.m., in time to see Bean a little while before her bedtime.

She and her Daddy had a good day together, but he was exhausted. We were originally going to take a little day trip today to the coast, but since it’s cold and might rain, we might just stay home and bake cookies instead.

Here’s a photo from the other day. It was close to dusk, windy and cold, but we had to get out of the house for some fresh air. This is a sweet shot.

looking for leaves

Smoochies

Via videocam:

smoochies

At the 15-month visit today, Bean weighed 19 pounds, 13 ounces. Yee haa! That’s a two-plus pound gain since the 12-month visit. She also grew three-quarters of an inch and now stands 30 inches tall. The doctor (her regular one is back) urged me to switch to milk in cups and gave me some suggestions. She said Bean is just petite and will probably always be petite, but that she is thriving and I can stop worrying about getting calories into her. Toddlers don’t eat a lot at this age and growth slows down. The doctor was pleased with the variety of foods Bean likes to eat and says she’s a “really good eater.”

Bean was quiet and cooperative during the exam. She wasn’t her usual smiley social self, but she didn’t fuss and fight. The doctor is pleased with her overall development and was genuinely impressed with Bean’s vocabulary. And Bean was really brave when she got her vaccination. She got a Cookie Monster sticker at the end; she calls all muppets Elmo, and she adores Elmo.

Right now she is recovering from a small cold and is having what I hope will be a long nap. Time for me to grab a little lunch.

Why Not?

Creativity is at the core of my life. At least, this is how I’ve felt for several years. So I’m diving in and will participate in Leah’s 2009 challenge, Creative Every Day 2009.

Creative Every Day 2009

I’m not sure exactly what will come of it, but the goal is to gently inspire my creativity and to see it in my life in places I would not ordinarily consider. How about you?

More Yogi, Please

Today was Bean’s first day at the parent-participation preschool session. She loved it! So far, we haven’t yet encountered an activity (story hour, Little Gym, music) that she dislikes or fears. It’s a loosely structured 2-hour class where 12-18 month old kids play with their parents and the teacher leads us in songs and discussion. Then there’s a snack time at a certain location. Normally at home, I allow Bean to snack while playing and often feed her like a little sparrow while she plays. At school, children may only eat at the table. And parents take turns bringing the snack; since today was yogurt, teddy grahams, and juice, and Bean has eschewed all dairy except milk (in a bottle still), I was curious to see what Bean would do.

At first she wasn’t interested in joining us. She rummaged in some toys while I stayed at the snack table. She picked out a purse and brought it over. I helped her sit in the tiny chair and gave her the teddy grahams, which she ate. I offered her apple juice in a Dixie cup; she does not get juice at home, and I allow her to have it when we are at a friend’s house or on an outing. Since she’s still uncoordinated, I held the cup, and she managed to drink it all with her cookies. On a whim I thought I’d offer strawberry yogurt. And to my delight, she ate it! I’d started with a small amount, maybe a tablespoon. When that was gone I asked, “Do you want some more yogurt?” She said, “Yes yogi.” I gave her a larger helping and she devoured that too. When we were done with snack, we got cleaned up and left the table to play outside.

Lately she has decided she wants to chew larger bits of food: grape halves instead of quarters, larger banana slices, and to actually take a bite of a hot dog off of a larger hunk held by an adult. So her preferences are evolving, and I think seeing other kids eat different foods in a more structured setting will be good for us.

I haven’t blogged much lately since I was doing art every day, so here’s more random stuff about Bean:

  • She remains very unaware of her surroundings when she is climbing on stuff at gym or preschool. She is so focused on where she is headed and does not watch for changes in threshold. At the gym it’s safer to allow her to tumble and experience the consequence (except even there exist some dangerous heights). At preschool today she wanted to walk up and down a steep carpeted incline used for crawlers, and I need to stick close by since it’s made of hard wood. Eventually she will get more coordinated and aware. Whenever she goes up stairs or tries to crawl up furniture, she says proudly, “Cimbing! Cimbing!” (No letter “L” sound)
  • When people sneeze, she now says “Bess you.” And when she burps, often times she remembers to say Coo me (excuse me). It is so darn adorable to observe this.
  • Bean continues to parrot everything she hears. The other day a friend said “Oh God!” and immediately we heard a little voice say “Oh God, oh God, oh God.” Must watch our language!
  • Here is a list of words she has started to say: magazine (this is very garbled, sounds like “manganese”, beautiful, crying, happy, climbing, jumping, snowflake, snowman, stocking, stove, sink, oven, counter, plant, phone, giraffe, Texas (indeed!). There are more, but this is all I have at the top of my memory.
  • When playing with others, she is really passive about trying to hang on to a toy she has in her hands. Other kids pull hard and, rather than resist and clutch the toy, she allows it to leave her grip, only to follow the child in a futile attempt to get it back. Sometimes she cries once a toy is yanked away, but she doesn’t assert effort to keep it. I can feel this hitting some old sore spots of my memories and am trying to be aware of the red flags (avoiding temptation to project my experience and feelings on to her). Easier said than done.
  • Every time Bean sees her friend Fia, she kisses her. Bean also kisses all her stuffed animals, and other stuffed animals she meets. She even kisses her wooden snail pull-toy. Bean is really demonstrative of affection. She walks around carrying stuffed toys in a hug, with her the toy nestled against her neck, and says “Ohhhhhh…”
  • Bean has one molar that has come through on top and at least two more molars puffing up her gums.
  • When I am in the kitchen cooking or chopping fruit, Bean has taken to bringing a book or toy in and sitting on the floor playing with it while keeping me company. She’s my little buddy.
  • We sing a little song to pick up toys, and when she hears it she now says, “Keen up, keen up” while we sing. She even puts a toy or two away (before trying to take out more).

So that’s my update on Bean! Next Wednesday her Aunt E comes to visit, and I think they’ll both have a ball with each other.

Fear Not

Christmas just isn’t Christmas to me without a tree. For years I had a teeny table-top tree that my mother gave me, and each year she gives me more teeny ornaments for it. Last year she sent me a slightly larger version of that tree; since horizontal surfaces are scarce, I didn’t plan to put it (or the teeny one) up this year. But Husband persuaded me that we could put it on our dining table. I went one better and put it on the counter near an outlet so the lights can be on and little hands remain safe. So here is the Grandma Tree (it is actually tucked against the wine rack and against the wall):

christmas tree 08

So LKD, now things are all better. 🙂

Art Every Day Month – Day 30

Hurray! I did it, I did it! And now it’s time for the Yule season. Given that Bean’s little hands find it hard to resist touching interesting stuff, and that holidays are about happiness rather than scolding “No, don’t touch!” we have opted out of a tree this year. Plus, we need the floor space to play, and a tree would seriously crimp that.

I’ll get out a few decorations in addition to this garland — I just need to find ways to make do without horizontal surfaces. Bean is getting into everything now.

garland - art every day month 08 - day 30

Art Every Day Month – Day 29

While including food might be pushing the definition of “art,” I decided that today’s creation would suffice for AEDM. At least it’s a domestic art, and one can enjoying looking at, smelling, and tasting it. I cooked the little pumpkin we bought last month and pureed it, and then I made the bread from a recipe on Allrecipes. (Note that I used two 9×5″ loaf pans instead of the three 7×3″ in the recipe.) It is really good — Bean devours it (and this is how she gets an orange veggie, since she refuses them in other forms), and so do my friends and I. It’s the kind of bread that tastes better after a day or two as the spices meld.

pumpkin bread - art every day month 08 - day 29

Pumpkin Bread

Art Every Day Month – Day 23

Our date was lovely. We decided that since we rarely get to enjoy a meal without refereeing someone, we would have a leisurely dinner. Then we went to a toy store to look for possible gifts for Bean (we are setting a budget) and then to a bookstore to drool over books we want for ourselves. It was a later night than usual, but I’m glad we made time for it.

Here is today’s piece. I’m feeling unsure if I can come up with stuff for the next eight days; my inspiration well feels dry. Oops! I hear Bean awake from her nap.

ornament - art every day month 08 - day 23

Subject, Predicate, and Direct Object

Tonight when playing with her father, Bean said “I see you!” in response to Husband. In a little while there will be a video uploaded at Flickr for friends and family viewers (you need to be logged in to Flickr for the video to show). (Being a private man, I don’t share photos and videos that include Husband on the blog.)

I’ve lost track of the new words she’s got now. Let’s just say that we are now spelling certain words and are very, very careful not to cuss near her. Not that we cuss much, but every now and then a damn might slip out if we aren’t being mindful.

Bean also now says yes as well as no when asked direct questions. This has made feeding her much easier. “Do you want grapes?” “No.” “Do you want pineapple?” “Yes!” Or: “Do you want to play with puzzles?” “No.” “Do you want to read a book?” “Yes!” Until recently, one-syllable words that end in “s” were pronounced as two-syllables: bus was bah-ss, mouse was “meh-ss”, and yes was “yeh-ss.” She’s getting more fluid with practice, but it’s still really cute the way she pronounces these words so deliberately in that little voice of hers.

Also, while we were at a friend’s home today, Bean interrupted her play to walk over to me and give me a kiss (she’s still learning so it wasn’t quite a pucker, but it was clearly a kiss). Then she returned to her little friends. It was really endearing.