OMG, I haven’t got my child enrolled for preschool this fall! Nearly every other mother I know whose child is about to turn two has taken care of this. I haven’t since I thought we’d be moving and wanted to see where we’d be before I pursued this.
Oh no. My child won’t be ready for kindergarten! (Never mind the fact that I never went to preschool, and I did just fine.)
She spins in circles and says, “I’m getting busy!!” and laughs when she falls down.
She adds plural ending to words that are already plural: gloveses, shoeses, kidses.
She adds “ed” to verbs in current tense to make them past-tense: “It breaked,” “I eated.”
She sits in her wading pool, looks up at the trees blowing in the wind and says, “The trees are dancing.” She sees a butterfly and says, “It’s so beautiful.” She puts on her crown and says, “I’m very cute!”
Some day I will get around to reading Steven Pinker’s book, The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language, but right now I’m observing it in action. It’s wonderful!
From this (playing in her pool and having pensive moment)…
…to this (silly with stickers).
This weekend I made a magic wand for Bean out of a wooden dowel and some pieces of wood my father gave me years ago. I painted it a light shade of purple and used a second coat of translucent silver paint to add shimmer. Then I coated the tip in silver glitter and used a glossy gel to seal it.
I thought about trying to add ribbon streamers to the tip, but I concluded that a simple design was better. The magic, of course, will be imbued by Bean herself. I hope she finds many hours of fun with it.
But still a little on the small side! I asked Bean’s Grandma to make an art smock for Bean that she could grow into. Bean is modeling it in the photo below. It’s wonderful and adorable, and it will be of use for many years!
Bean is beginning to show interest in dress-up and playing pretend. I wear headbands, and she calls them crowns. She has a little satin purple headband that she calls her crown. I have a large basket waiting for dress-up items. I bought her a tutu today (there is no way I have the skill or the tools to sew one). Here are some things I remember from childhood that I’d like to have:
Cowboy vest and hat
Cape
Fancy dresses
Gloves
Hats
Scarves & ties (I’d like to get her a feather one too)
Wigs
Jewelry
Shoes
The trick is, I don’t want to spend a fortune. I looked at many kid toys sites, and an outfit for one thing (like a fireman) can run up to $40! I paid a little more for the tutu than I wanted, but I told myself I’d likely not find it much cheaper unless I made it myself. (It can double as a fairy outfit, and I will make a wand for her out of my art supplies.) I can try to hit Goodwill and garage sales. And I’m not insisting on child-size clothes; adult outfits can be fun to wear. If any reader has items they would like to unload, please let me know. (I don’t own fancy dresses.)
We desperately need a child-size table and chairs as well. Space is an issue, but she deserves a right-size workspace of her own. The cost, again, is a factor. Small furniture can carry big prices!
Although we live in an urban area, Bean and I find many natural treasures. We bring them home and put them in a shoe box to explore later. There are duck feathers, crow feathers, seed pods, bark, pine cones, and stones to examine. Bean has lost interest in playing on slides and swings. She prefers to take walks, preferably long ones. She’s very good about holding our hand when we tell her to and when the street is busy, but she cherishes the chance to walk “all by myself” — and when we are on a quiet street or in a park, I give her that chance every time.
Today Bean is 21 months old. She sparkles more by the day.
Bean has a fuzzy sheep toy she was given at Christmas. Until recently he was benignly ignored, but he has become popular enough to be requested in bed. The other morning when I went to get her from the crib, she hugged him and said, “His name is Baa.” And so she has named her first toy. (All the other toys with names are ones we have bestowed and she has used, but this is the first toy she has named herself.)
She has acute hearing. One of the most frequent words we hear daily is “noise.” This is her way of commenting that she hears a sound and a request from us to identify it. Many times a day we have such exchanges:
Bean: Noise.
Me: That’s a motorcycle.
Bean: Moto-cycle.
—
Bean: Noise.
Me: That’s an ambulance siren.
Bean: Goes so fast!
Me: Yes, an ambulance goes fast.
—
And so on, perhaps 30 times a day, for car horns, people shouting, phones ringing, car stereos thumping, etc.
Bean has always been fairly passive regarding possessions. If she is playing with a toy and another child yanks it from her grasp, she lets it go. She’s not always happy about it, but she has never yanked it back or been aggressive. It concerns me a little; the world is full of grabby people, and I wonder how she will become assertive. Also, if there is something being given by an adult, such as stamps on the hand after class, and there is a crowd of kids, she will hang back. She wants to get the stamp but will wait until everyone else has gotten theirs. Even if she gets to the teacher first, if another child approaches, she moves away. In the pet store the other day she wanted to look at fish. A little boy toddled up next to her to look in the same aquarium, and she moved away. Wherever she went, he followed (the boy was curious and friendly), and she kept moving; she could not get the chance to look alone. I’m not sure what to make of this. It’s probably best if I make no conclusions.
Anyway, we have a book by Karen Katz she has read for many months called I Can Share. It features scenarios where little kids have something another wants, and the child who has it says, “MY [doll, shovel, snack] you can’t have it, but maybe…” and on the next page is says “You can play this this doll”; or “We can make a castle together;” or “I’ll give you a box of your own.” After several scenes like this, the book ends with, “Now I know how to share, and I like it!” and shows two kids sharing crayons.
While compromise may not seem like sharing, what I have learned is that at this age it’s important for a child to feel secure in possessing an object before she will share willingly. To be able to say, “I’m using this, but you can play with that toy, and when I’m done I’ll give it to you,” is important. But that’s not my point here. All this has been background providing context for this: when someone takes a toy from Bean these days, she says, “I can’t share! I can’t share!” This is her way of telling the child to give it back and alerting the adults she’s upset. She has bypassed the physical aggression stage to using her words. Way to go!
Speaking of words, the sentences become fuller and more complex all the time, and her vocabulary grows. For some reason, certain words strike her as hilarious. The most recent ones that make her laugh are sprout and underpants.
Today I announced we were going to Target to shop. I said to Bean, “Mommy needs to buy some new underpants.” And Bean said, “I want underpants too!” So I bought her a set of little girl undies, not that she’s anywhere near ready to use them or be potty trained. (I also bought a package of Pull-ups, which is what we will start using when potty training commences.) However, she was very happy to have her very own underpants. I told her she was growing to be a big girl, and when she felt ready to tell me about needing to use the potty she would be ready to wear those.
Given how these 21 months has zoomed by, that will come soon enough.
So many tidbits to share about Bean, who is such a marvelous and interesting little person. Without further ado:
Bean will be 21 months old in about a week. We’re having the time of our lives.
I have a list of the little things I plan to write about that Bean is doing, but it’s late and I’m wiped out. She is a busy, busy child! So loving and cheerful too (most of the time). So here is a video to provide a glimpse until I have the energy to write. (If the embedded video doesn’t know, click this link.)
Since my stove-top is compromised (one burner can’t be used) and I don’t want to heat up the oven in the summer anyway, I bought a new crock pot. I haven’t used crock pots much because the recipes often call for different sizes; I had only one, and it seemed impractical to have more than one since they are large. Well, another mom mentioned that Walmart had a 3-in-1 crock pot on sale for $30, and so I went and got it. (Target sells the same brand for $60.) It has one base and three crocks: 2, 4, and 6-quarts.
The other night I used the 2-quart size to roast chicken thighs with rosemary and white wine. Today I made pulled pork for the first time (in the 6-quart ), and it was delectable.
There are umpteen zillion crock pot recipes for free on the web, so I’m looking forward to trying some of them. It just requires a little planning and prep ahead, but then it’s so easy!
You know you are in California when:
I’ve been sitting daily for 20 minutes, and I’m amazed how frenetic my thoughts are. They are faster and more erratic than any toddler. I sit, eyes half open, aware of the breath in my nostrils and counting, and all the while it sounds like a cocktail party in my head:
Boy, I can’t believe SHE did THAT… Need to get bread, bananas, and bologna… Bean is such a sweetie… When is the auto shop going to call about the repair? …I wish our home had air conditioning… Wish we had a back yard… Ooo, forgot to send that email to… The litterbox needs scooping… How much longer do I need to sit here? My back is killing me… I need to scratch my nose.
Sometimes I don’t think thoughts as much as see images in my mind’s eye: me walking with Bean, the house we almost bought, our living room strewn with toys. All too often I catch myself traipsing down the path of thought or following the images and then I pull myself back into the present and focus on my breath again. Then there are moments when I am aware of all the chatter in the background but remain undistracted.
It’s difficult to do this, but I feel the impact already.
Well, we were going to make an offer on the house today, and as of yesterday there were supposedly no offers (we went to see it last evening), but today we learned there were four offers and one was accepted. The accepted offer was the asking price. We were going to offer less, so we wouldn’t have been accepted anyway. But it was a nice house, the first one in our price range that we could see ourselves living in and enjoying, with a lovely front and back yard. I’m sad and frustrated. It was a nice neighborhood — not near the train tracks, with a really good public school, good yard, nice interior, reasonable commute. It did, however, have an intense curry smell from the past occupants. Curry is fried with oil and then it permeates all surfaces (paint, rugs, etc.). Curry can be difficult to completely eradicate, and it’s not our favorite scent. So it’s one less problem.
I’ll continue to take a break from looking, and Husband will continue to go to open houses on the really good ones, and we’ll keep hoping.
The last few days, my joints have ached, particularly in my forearms and hands. They feel stiff and painful to move. This morning, I woke up with completely numb hands. It took about 30 minutes before they were fully mobile. My initial reaction was, “WTF??!!”
Whatever the cause or problem, this will affect my writing and typing. I’m having difficulty even holding a pen. So there will continue to be infrequent and brief posts here. Sorry about that.
Life is prodding me to stay present and not borrow trouble in the future. This is a discipline, one that requires traipsing after my thoughts like I do after my toddler.
The microwave broke again, despite our being careful not to use the front burner to cook steamy things (which apparently caused the circuits to short out last December, because the cupboards are not built to code, and the microwave is too close to the stovetop). It was a very expensive ($400+) repair the first time. Do you know how much we use a microwave? Dozens of times a day.
I mentioned this frustration at a play date, and another mother gave me a microwave that was sitting unused in her garage. They’ve bought a new house, so it’s one less thing for her to move as well. My problem is half-solved!
—
My knee has been cracking more frequently of late. Yes, the knee that had surgery. It’s not the kneecap (though that cracks a little occasionally), but the femur and tibia crack when I walk up stairs or move certain ways. It hurts, too. I can’t produce the problem on command, however, so pinpointing it will be hard. I’ve started to compensate for my lack of confidence in that leg by limping a little, which has worsened the pain in my left heel as well. I feel old again. There will be no easy solution to this.
—
This morning my little Bean and Husband gave me sweet cards that made me cry, some perfume (“my” scent that I’ve used 15 years), and Lindor truffles. Husband got up with me at 6 a.m. and made us pancakes for breakfast. We went to a park for 90 minutes, and then we went to look at a house. We liked it. It might be the one. But we’ll see. Mustn’t get ahead of ourselves.
—
Small events qualify as marvelous around here.
This morning, Husband and I helped Bean get her shirt on. Before we got her pants on, she said, “I need peepee, I need peepee,” and wandered off to the bathroom. I followed and asked if she wanted to sit on her potty. I took her diaper off (this was the first time without a diaper) and she sat on the potty; I squatted in front of her with a book. I said “Take your time sweetie,” and then she proceeded to pee!
Wow! She initiated, and she did it. She wanted to touch it (after all, she made it), but I distracted her by helping her wipe. Then Husband came to put her diaper back on, and we finished dressing. We praised her for doing this big girl thing, but we didn’t make a huge deal of cheering over it.
Bean has made a few other notable small achievements.
Bean used to answer “yes” to questions when she agreed. Lately she has switched to an enthusiastic “Oh, yes!” She also has gotten curious about a musical angel doll that her Gramma gave her when she was born. She’s fascinated with the wings and the pull cord that makes the music box play.
We took a short walk to the mailbox a few minutes ago, and I spotted a ladybug. I showed her, picked it up, and we examined it several moments. I guided the bug into her hand. Bean was fascinated. She kissed the ladybug, and I cautioned her to blow a kiss instead. She came in and immediately went to her father and announced that she saw a ladybug and held it in her hand. It’s been the highlight of her day so far.
After nap, I went out with Bean to run an errand, and I found myself driving past the Chung Tai Zen Center of Sunnyvale. I’d heard of them a couple years ago but never pursued actually locating the center. I’d also been on a mailing list for another Zen center in Mountain View, but I just haven’t gotten there yet.
As I drove by, I told myself I’d stop in next Wednesday when the babysitter relieves me for awhile. Then I changed my mind, because I felt nudged to take action right then. So I unloaded Bean (who was wearing her cheap sunglasses on a rainy day) and carried her in with me.
I was greeted effusively by a monk who was very sweet to Bean. I told them I had stopped in on a whim and that I wondered if they held sessions or classes. I was introduced to the Vice Abbott who gave me some handouts. He had led us to a classroom where he I think planned to give me time to read the material and then return to answer questions I had, but with Bean that wasn’t feasible. So we chatted briefly, and I learned that they are just about to offer their next session of classes. Each class is two hours, with the first hour being instruction and the second being meditation.
The level 1 class involves learning about meditation methods: breath-counting, mindfulness of the breath, middle way reality (a Zen practice). The topics covered are introduction to Buddhism and Zen, Karma and causality, the Four Noble Truths (suffering, the causes of suffering, nirvana, the Noble Eightfold Path), Three Refuges, Five Precepts. This class is on Saturday afternoons and is three months long.
The one hitch is that the time of class, 3-5 p.m., falls directly into the time we usually attend open houses. Some open houses are only held on Saturdays. While we are taking May off from searching, we do plan to return to house hunting later. My attendance at class will interfere with this. But this is something I really need. Husband supports me doing this, and I consider my timing propitious.
So that’s where I will spend next Saturday afternoon. Yay me.
Although today is cloudy and rainy, I’m energized and in a better mood. This morning I went to a friend’s home for a play date and we had a great visit. A little later another friend came with her daughter, and our three daughters played together while we adults got to catch up. It had been awhile since we’d been able to visit for an extended time.
I pushed Bean a little and stayed longer than I usually do. Most of the time I have us home by 11 a.m. for lunch and down for a nap no later than 12:15, because in the past missing that window meant she didn’t sleep at all (or very long) due to being overtired. But today I needed to visit, so we got home at 11:45 and ate a quick lunch. She was close to a tantrum, being so tired, but she went to sleep quickly at 12:30. I’m hoping for a usual nap of 90 minutes to two hours.
I’ve had a little too much coffee, and I need some food, and I feel a wave of sleepiness coming on…