Category Archives: Social Science

Remembering to Be

I went for a hike yesterday at a local park. Although situated within the city of Austin, the trail winds through land that feels remote. The path is shady, and it winds over a creek in numerous places. The occasional breeze ruffled my hair as I wandered over sun-dappled ground. Because it’s located near water, the trail featured a variety of vegatation, including moss, ferns, and water-loving Cedar Elms and Sycamores. There were also Texas Mountain Laurels, Twisted Yucca and Agarita.

While hiking, I became absorbed in the task of locomotion and would forget to see my surroundings. Now and again I would remember to bring myself back to the world, to pause and notice the colors, textures, and smells around me. At one point there was a pool of trickling water nestled by the hill. Dozens of yellow-jackets were convened on rock by the water’s edge. It was fascinating to watch them. I could only assume they were attracted to the water; I’d not seen a convention of bees before!

Even in Texas, there’s a scent in the air that suggests autumn. Although the temperatures continue to climb into the upper 80s, the light is softer, the glare less intense. The scent of autumn lingers — clearer air, a whiff of spice and musk that exudes from decaying leaves. The other night as I took a walk around the block in my neighborhood, I heard and owl. I was delighted. I stood still, with my ear cocked skyward, and every few minutes I was rewarded with a melancholy “Who-who-WHO.” Living in suburbia, one does not encounter much wildlife, and there was something redeeming about hearing this owl, knowing that it chose to rest (perhaps live) in a tree in someone’s back yard. Perhaps we have not crowded out all other creatures.

It is these experiences for which I live. It is the simple pleasure of experiencing life, discovering the grand beauty in the small and ordinary, of learning to see magnificence in the details as well as the expanse — learning to pay attention more often to what’s outside my head.

What Winter Means

In one month, on October 26, daylight savings time ends. Yet here it is, shortly after 8 p.m. in September, and my woozy, sleepy brain struggles to summon an interesting thought. My eyes are tired and don’t want to stay open. I’ve always been mystified by this. Every year, as the days shorten, I feel pulled to the depths — of sleepiness, of the subconscious, of that which is at rest and prepares for a long period of rejuvenation.

I am reminded of the Greek myth of Demeter and her daughter, Persephone. At one point Hades kidnapped Persephone and took her to the underworld. Demeter was distraught and outraged, and the whole world plunged into winter. Zeus, the father of Persephone, became worried about the state of the earth and intervened. Eventually, Persephone was permitted to reunite with her mother, for since she had eaten some pomengranate seeds while in captivity, she was obligated to return to Hades for part of every year. Hence, the story of winter.

This myth is also seen as a metaphor for psychotherapy:

An archetype of healing. Like our own wounded inner child, Persephone, had been abducted into the dark Hades of her unconscious patterns and process. She was lovingly searched for and assisted by Demeter, her mentoring mother. Their annual reunion, depicted here, was celebrated by the Greeks as the Rite of Spring. Illumined by the torch of insight, Persephone has returned to the upper world; Demeter blesses her with a sheaf of grain symbolizing nurture and renewal.This image offers a powerful metaphor for the psychotherapeutic process.

All of life slows down as we enter winter. Holiday time will increase our frenetic activity, but then we will experience the post New Year’s anticlimactic plunge. It need not be negative. Rest and quiet are healing, if we choose to use the opportunities when they arise.

When I Grow Up

I don’t often write from a personal point of view on this blog, although it is my hope that my personality seeps through my words.

However, tonight I was reminiscing about my youth, so I pulled out old journals and paged through them. There were two in high school (1978 & 1980) and two post-high school (1982 & 1983). I read the passages and remembered the struggle to create my identity, develop independence from my parents, create a meaningful faith, and deal with depression. My entries vary — one might be highly analytical and critical of myself, and another might state how joyous the day is.

It took me many years to become a therapist. This is due, in part, because during high school, I was directed away from my desire to study psychology, teaching, and writing. I tried to please the authority in my life. I acquiesced to staying home, going to a community college, and studying secretarial/business subjects. I was unhappy, but I continued to wend my way toward this profession. It took 16 years to complete my bachelor and master’s degrees (working full-time most of the time). Looking back, I see that this has been an education in itself — the process of awakening to one’s passion and faithfully pursuing its expression despite obstacles.

I had to chuckle ruefully when I read the following passage in my journal, dated February 16, 1982 (I was 19).

Another fact that I tend to complain about is my lack of obvious talent. I am not gifted musically, artistically, athletically, or academically. I have no talent in acting, dancing, or designing artistic pieces. I am afraid to tap whatever hidden resources I have, and have never sought to try. There are three things I know I do well: 1) writing essays; 2) speaking (my voice has a mellow, well-modulated tone); and 3) listening. What can I do with these talents (if they are talents)?

One thing I know: if anyone had told me that these are talents, and showed me the path I could take, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. This was due, in part, because I didn’t have any money for college, and my family’s funds were limited. This lack of money translated in my thinking into lack of opportunity; I was bewildered and afraid to dream. My father was unsupportive of my getting a degree in liberal arts, because I would not be employable, he feared. I moved out on my own and began working at a university library. My father’s perspective was deeply engraved in me, and I was in my mid-20s when I finally decided that yes, I would be a good therapist. And that I could make it happen. That I wasn’t “too emotional” to handle it.

The path wound many corners before I actually entered graduate school in my mid-30s. Would it be nice if I hadn’t had to struggle so hard to get here? Probably. However, I know that my achievement is all the more personal and real, because I pursued it against many odds. I would be a very different kind of person and therapist, probably, if I had not surmounted the crags and crevasses. Is this just self-consolation, rationalizing why it took so long? Maybe. But there’s no use in wishing it had been otherwise, because it’s past. So I prefer to think some good, some purpose came of it.

I am astonished, sometimes, that I am 40 years old. I feel that my life is just beginning. I wonder if I’ll feel this way at 60 and 80?

Ten Steps to Positive Body Image

This is a reprint for educational purposes.

Ten Steps To Positive Body Image
Compiled by Margo Maine, Ph. D.

One list can not automatically tell you how to turn negative body thoughts into positive body image, but it can help you think about new ways of looking more healthfully and happily at yourself and your body. The more you do that, the more likely you are to feel good about who you are and the body you naturally have.

Appreciate all that your body can do. Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams. Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you — running, dancing, breathing, laughing, dreaming, etc.
Keep a top-10 list of things you like about yourself — things that aren’t related to how much you weigh or what you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about you.
Remind yourself that “true beauty” is not simply skin-deep. When you feel good about yourself and who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you physically look like a supermodel. Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.
Look at yourself as a whole person. When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. See yourself as you want others to see you — as a whole person.
Surround yourself with positive people. It is easier to feel good about yourself and your body when you are around others who are supportive and who recognize the importance of liking yourself just as you naturally are.
Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person. You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive ones. The next time you start to tear yourself down, build yourself back up with a few quick affirmations that work for you.
Wear clothes that are comfortable and that make you feel good about your body. Work with your body, not against it.
Become a critical viewer of social and media messages. Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself or your body. Protest these messages: write a letter to the advertiser or talk back to the image or message.
Do something nice for yourself — something that lets your body know you appreciate it. Take a bubble bath, make time for a nap, find a peaceful place outside to relax.
Use the time and energy that you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others. Sometimes reaching out to other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world.

From the National Eating Disorders Association

What is Humanistic Psychology?

An excerpt from an excellent resource, the Association for Humanistic Psychology:

Humanistic psychology is a value orientation that holds a hopeful, constructive view of human beings and of their substantial capacity to be self-determining. It is guided by a conviction that intentionality and ethical values are strong psychological forces, among the basic determinants of human behavior. This conviction leads to an effort to enhance such distinctly human qualities as choice, creativity, the interaction of the body, mind and spirit, and the capacity to become more aware, free, responsible, life-affirming and trustworthy.

Humanistic psychology acknowledges that the mind is strongly influenced by determining forces in society and in the unconscious, and that some of these are negative and destructive. Humanistic psychology nevertheless emphasizes the independent dignity and worth of human beings and their conscious capacity to develop personal competence and self respect. This value orientation has led to the development of therapies to facilitate personal and interpersonal skills and to enhance the quality of life.

Since there is much difficulty involved in inner growth, humanistic psychologists often stress the importance of courageously learning to take responsibility for oneself as one confronts personal transitions. The difficulty of encouraging personal growth is matched by the difficulty of developing appropriate institutional and organizational environments in which human beings can flourish. Clearly, societies both help and hinder human growth. Because nourishing environments can make an important contribution to the development of healthy personalities, human needs should be given priority when fashioning social policies. ,This becomes increasingly critical in a rapidly changing world threatened by such dangers as nuclear war, overpopulation and the breakdown of traditional social structures.

Many humanistic psychologists stress the importance of social change, the challenge of modifying old institutions and inventing new ones able to sustain both human development and organizational efficacy. Thus the humanistic emphasis on individual freedom should be matched by a recognition of our interdependence and our responsibilities to one another, to society and culture, and to the future.