Category Archives: Social Science

Words to Ponder #47

I couldn’t remember how to forget myself. I didn’t want to think about myself, to reckon myself in, to deal with myself every livelong minute on top of everything else — but swerve as I might, I couldn’t avoid it. I was a boulder blocking my own path. I was a dog barking between my own ears, a barking dog who wouldn’t hush. So this was adolescence.

–Annie Dillard, An American Childhood (1987)

Austin Television Premiere

Cicadas, a homegrown Austin feature film written and directed by Kat Candler, will air on cable channel 15 (Austin Music Network) on Thursday, November 13 at 11:00 p.m., and Saturday, November 15 at 10:00 p.m.

The 92-minute movie follows four teenagers as they cope with the savageries of school, quest to find/create their identity, and yearn for relationship in a confusing and frightening world. More information can be found at the website.

(Information via Tiffany)

Thanksgiving Approaches

Searching around for information on contemplative meals, I came across an article written by Margaret Krome in The Capital Times of Wisconsin.

Gratitude isn’t naive. It doesn’t ignore the world’s terrible hunger, hostility and pain, deep anxiety about impending war, or the frustration of one’s car stalling in traffic. Nor does it celebrate superficial hopes or hollow victories. Appreciating isn’t the same as wishing that things were better than they are or hoping that they’ll improve. To be conscious of what’s good isn’t to grasp at straws.

It also isn’t smug. A thing’s goodness isn’t made better by knowing that others don’t have it, nor does something good come in proportion to one’s own merit. For example, much of my good life derives from a sound education that I didn’t obtain alone but with help from my parents and a supportive culture, which many others lack. Some people’s idea of grace – that their blessings flow because they’re good, well-behaved and pay homage to God – seems false and dangerously divisive. It can justify injustice or callousness to others’ needs.

But thankfulness isn’t callous. It’s easy to say that a loving family, time to spend with them and other intangibles are worth more than money – when you have money. That I have loving parents and good food can’t allow me to care less about others’ hunger or suffering from their families’ actions. Rather, deep gratitude for something’s importance in my life can open my awareness to inequities and inspire me to help others.

Thanksgiving in America is a time to pause and reflect on what is good in our lives. I’ve become interested in mindful eating. This involves awakening to the process of creation, paying attention to our actions as we chop vegetables and measure spices, remembering that many hands contributed to the nurturance and delivery of that product. It also means savoring flavors, feeling texture in the mouth, allowing our attention to focus fully on the task of nourishing the body. Thanksgiving is a step toward that, except I would like to weave this practice into daily life. Contemplative meals, in which people eat together in silence, occur in many settings. Some churches hold them, retreat centers make it part of the experience, and –wonder of wonders — we could gather friends and do this at home.

Here are some other links to sites oriented toward mindfulness and food:

MindfulEating.org
SlowFood.com
Slow Food USA
Conscious Eating

Bon appetit, and peace to you.

Prison As “Provider”: A Mental Health Travesty

Treating Mental Illness in Prison

The United States has the largest and most expensive prison system in the world. The inmate population has grown by nearly 80 percent over the last decade, partly because more than half the inmates commit new crimes soon after release and quickly end up back inside.

Two new reports from prison study groups suggest that mentally ill inmates are prime candidates not just for recidivism, but for destructive behavior and suicide when prisons fail to handle them properly. The studies, by Human Rights Watch and the Correctional Association of New York, show that prisons have actually become mental institutions by default. But they have largely failed to develop treatment programs that would permit mentally ill inmates to establish a routine that would allow them to control their symptoms and their lives.

The Human Rights Watch report can be accessed here. Reports authored by the Correctional Association of New York are provided here.

Affirming Life Through Death

Tomorrow, November 1, is All Saints Day, also known as The Day of the Dead in Mexico. Tradition exists to remember the lives of those whom we have loved and lost. I’m keen on ritual and symbolism. I participated at an observance while in graduate school and found it very meaningful.

Well, Heather Corinna has asked a pertinent question in her entry for today:

While I was in heaven at the shop, peeking into little retablo doors, it occurred to me that perhaps we need a Day of the Dead for relationships as well as physical deaths. I’ve been hit with a lot of death in my life, especially my early life, and especially very violent death, so being able to have at least one day a year to set out photographs and icons, remember gladly those lost to me, to do some creative work with my feelings, to have a feast with my dead and have conversations with them I’m missing, or never got to have at all, is such a great ritual and comfort. Being able to remember — especially in a culture which is so afraid of death, which cloaks it in so much heaviness and sorrow — the lives of those past with joy, even if it’s bittersweet, and look at death with less fear and more reverence and feeling, is just so valuable.

I think we could use the same kind of ritual for emotional deaths and endings, with the same sense of honor and love. I know I could. Certainly, people do ritualistic things with the ends of relationships, but I think most of them are usually negative: burning things, chopping up or throwing away photographs, getting sauced with friends and dissing ex-partners, engaging in behaviour to attack those exes in some way, et cetera.

But what if, instead, we made a feast for our ex-lovers?

What if, indeed? You can read Heather’s ideas of what such a feast might entail by going here. (Or click below to continue reading.)
Continue reading

The Cost of Divorce

With the fact of life that divorce will continue, something constructive for the community good can result.

$15 divorce filing fee added in Williamson County

A $15 Family Protection Fee was added to the cost of a divorce in Williamson County.

County commissioners added the fee to help fight domestic violence and said it will generate about $22,000 each year.

“It allows the commissioners court to assess an additional $15 filing fee for divorces and to put that in a special account called a Family Protection Account. And then distribute those funds to nonprofits in their county that serve victims of family violence and sexual assault,” Theresa Leftwich of the Williamson County Crisis Center said.

Travis County has not implemented this yet. However last year there were 8,495 divorces in the county. This would have generated $127,000 in funds to support community agencies providing family services. I think this would be a reasonable step to take.

Thank You

To the person who found my leather day planner at Barnes & Noble in the Arboretum, I thank you for turning it into the lost and found.

Thank you for respecting my property and privacy. Thank you for doing the right thing rather than keeping it for your use. Thank you for contributing positive energy to the universe. Your kindness saved me time, labor, and many headaches.

May your thoughtfulness be returned many times over.

Words to Ponder #40

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

–Erma Bombeck, Family–The Ties That Bind…And Gag! (1987)

Geno-What?!

When I’m beginning to work with clients, as individuals and especially as couples, I often encourage them to create a genogram. The genogram is useful in identifying the medical history of one’s family. In the context of counseling, a genogram provides a means to create a family map. It helps us to identify patterns of interaction, gender rules, secrets kept, themes (the family’s idea of who they are), losses experienced, possible mental illness, substance abuse, and what is generally functional or dysfunctional in the family. Of course, you may not have all the information at hand, and this is instructive about the family culture as well.

A genogram ideally contains three generations. It’s simple to create, or computer programs can be purchased.

People are shaped by their families as well as society as they grow into adulthood. Therefore, it is beneficial to look to one’s childhood and the entire family tree to gain insight into how one came to believe in certain things, some of which may not be helpful in the pursuit of life goals. For instance, a family culture might be that girls grow up to get married and that money is wasted if they attend college. A woman may come to therapy depressed about her life, because she is unhappy with the assigned role; the family theme shaped her understanding of what is possible for her. Recognizing that this is just one way of looking at what’s possible for women opens her mind to explore other perspectives.

If you prefer to learn from books, Genograms: Assessment and Intervention comes highly recommended. For the non-student just beginning to explore family themes, Genograms by Emily Marlin is a compact, highly readable book.

Dear Santa

Although the current temperature (90 degrees) belies the time of year, the retail world has begun its annual bludgeoning marketing of Christmas decorations; in some cases I have heard carols piping through store sound systems! I am dismayed, and am reminded why I shop for gifts early — to avoid the madness that overtakes us as December 25 inches closer.

Yes, that’s contradictory, I know. I dislike being bombarded by ho-ho-hoing Santas and kitschy green and red bric-a-brac in autumn, while at the same time I usually finish my gift shopping by the end of October or, at the very latest, by Thanksgiving. I do this to maintain my sanity.

Don’t misunderstand. I enjoy Christmas. I really do, a whole bunch. (Ask my boyfriend, to whom I delegate the task of lugging boxes of decorations from storage on December first every year.) It’s just that I don’t want to be rushing madly during the advent season. No, I want to curl up and sip mead, make gingerbread cookies, listen to carols, and admire twinkly lights without stressing out over making the holidays “bigger and better” than last year.

As I journey through life, I notice that all my needs and most of my desires are met. This is also true of my friends and family. So Thoreau’s wisdom, “Simplify, simplify” has been on my mind. I don’t want to stop giving gifts, because I derive pleasure from that. Yet I want to give something of value that will improve life. This is why I’ve spent the afternoon savoring two catalogs I received in today’s mail: one from Heifer International and another from the Seva Foundation.

Heifer International provides animals to impoverished families throughout the world to help them receive better nutrition and improve economic power by selling the products (e.g. eggs, wool) the animals produce. In addition, people are trained in how to breed and care for their animals so they can contribute to their local economy. A gift of ducks and geese costs as little as $20. $500 will buy a heifer. And $5,000 will purchase an Ark (two of every animal provided through the organization, to assist up to 30 families). Or, if you can’t afford the entire cost, you can purchase a “share” of an animal.

The Seva Foundation provides gifts of service to impoverished areas of Asia, Central America, and the Native American community. These include the gifts of sight (funding eye exams and surgery), of literacy education and community development, of providing clean water, and of food programs, such as planting community gardens to increase self-reliance. Gift prices range from $30 to $20,000.

I encourage you to stop by these websites and explore. When it’s time to purchase gifts, you can save money and gas, prevent fossil-fuel pollution, and spare yourself stress by contributing to these programs. Donating money in honor of your loved ones celebrates the gift of life you all enjoy, as well as vastly improves the lives of people who are less economically fortunate.

Words to Ponder #34

My diaries were written primarily, I think, not to preserve the experience but to savor it, to make it even more real, more visible and palpable, than in actual life. For in our family an experience was not finished, not truly experienced, unless written down or shared with another.
–Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Bring Me a Unicorn (1971)

This quote is in honor of Web Writers Weekend Journal Conference in Austin, which begins this afternoon. I’m looking forward to getting to know the many people whose online journals and weblogs that I read. The Internet community of writers is a fascinating one. Relationships span continents. We share opinions, debate, and entertain readers with ordinary life stories told well. We come to know aspects of many writers more deeply than their “real life” folks might. We become attached. We extend. We visit each other. We send gifts and snail mail. The Internet is invaluable to writers — it provides an opportunity for expressiveness and community that is most suitable to the introspective and sometimes solitary person.

The Divine Proportion

Having recently finished the masterfully written novel, The DaVinci Code, I became intrigued by the Divine Proportion, also known as Phi, or the Golden Mean. The number Phi is 1.618033987 (with the lowercase phi being 0.6180339887), and it is manifested in numerous ways. This is how it came to be known in the Renaissance as the Divine Proportion, because it was believed to be God’s hand. It indicates a ratio.

Phi appears in the following places:

  • the human body
  • the proportions of other animals
  • plants
  • DNA
  • the solar system
  • art and architecture
  • music
  • population growth
  • spirals
  • energy
  • the stock market
  • the Bible and in theology.

John Cleese and Elizabeth Hurley do an admirable job of explaining Phi and its role in the concept of beauty in a mini-series called The Human Face. Educational and funny, too.

What’s In a Name?

From the Sunday Herald:

More and more parents in America are naming their children after the most sought-after cars, popular perfumes and expensive drinks. Among the most common were 273 boys and 298 girls called Armani; 269 Chanels (all girls); 24 girls called Porsche and six male Timberlands. Also popular were Nike, Chivas Regal, Champagne, Nivea, Evian, Fanta, Guinness, Camry, Cobra, Pepsi and Lexus. One father called his son Lexxus, insisting on the extra x to make the name “more original”.

“Some parents are clearly naming their children after consumer products they aspire to own but will likely never afford,” said Cleveland Evans, an associate professor of psychology at Bellevue University in Nebraska who has studied the list of names.

“A lawyer is not going to name their child Lexus. Usually they are the ones who like antiques and dig up the old names like Abigail. It is the blue-collar workers who are looking for something modern but ritzy sounding.”

The etymology of names has always been of interest to me. Names historically have derived meaning from personality traits or values (often religious). For example, the root of Kathryn is Greek, and means “pure.” Or Asher, which is Hebrew, and is commonly given to boys — it means “blessed, happy.” (Pursue your own name scavenger hunt at BabyNames.com or many other sites like it.) What does it mean that we are now naming our children after objects marketed to us, items we would like to possess but perhaps cannot afford?

The concept of “children as property” is not new; nor has it been eradicated. In many countries, the plight of children extends beyond the misfortune of being named for a popular commodity. They often are commodities, whether it is being sold into prostitution, or into forced labor under heinous conditions working for bare survival wages. Children’s status as property also comes to light during divorce proceedings, especially during nasty custody disputes.

Just thinking “out loud.” Stirring the pot.