Category Archives: Social Science

To Be Or Not To Be A Mother

You may notice in my sidebar that my “currently reading” list includes five books on pregnancy and motherhood. I’m of an age where I’m considered “past my prime” for it. On the other hand, it’s not out of the question. I’ve set out to make an informed choice. A friend gave me several of her books, and I purchased one on pregnancy for women over 35.

One decision I need to make is if this is truly an endeavor I want to give my life to. Assuming I succeed and bear a healthy child, do I, at this point in my life and career, want to incorporate the vocation of parenthood? One thing I know for certain: I have the capacity to be a marvelous mother, far more so that I would have been in my twenties and thirties. I know who I am, and I like myself. I do believe self-knowledge dovetails with good parenting.

The problem is that there are very real risks with midlife pregnancy. In addition, the possibility increases that my fertility has waned. Do I want a child so much that I will undergo all possible treatments and get into debt? No, I don’t want to go that far. I also need to consider the impact that being an older parent will have on my child. So many questions.

My partner and I have considered adoption, and we haven’t ruled it out. Yet he is keen to try having a biological child first. So we begin by learning in order to make a responsible choice.

I surfed and located several sites offering support for older mothers; there are fewer sites for this population than I’d hoped.

Mothers Over 40

Mothers 35 Plus

Midlife Motherhood

She Knows Network: Midlife Moms

Hip Mama (not just for older moms)

And the books I’m reading:

Pregnancy and Childbirth: The Complete Guide for a New Life

Planning Your Pregnancy and Birth, Third Edition

The Hip Mama Survival Guide : Advice from the Trenches on Pregnancy, Childbirth, Cool Names, Clueless Doctors, Potty Training and Toddler Avengers

Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It

Your Over-35 Week-by-Week Pregnancy Guide: All the Answers to All Your Questions About Pregnancy, Birth, and Your Developing Baby

Anne Lamott’s book, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year, also came highly recommended.

On My To-Do List

Below is the best instruction I’ve received this week! I dedicate myself to this “task” today (and will make a point of it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow).

A life bereft of imagination and a sense of play is joyless. Don’t mourn the loss of your childhood and curiosity… take it back.

–Anne of Fishbucket

Read the rest of her wonderful post here.

Abandon Hope

Funds for mental health services to the low-income uninsured have been slashed in Texas, a state which ranks near the bottom of all states in regard to funding human services. I had hopes that places like Washington, with a better reputation for mental health services, would be unscathed, or would manage better than Texas. Well, Philip Dawdy writes in Seattle Weekly: Give Them Shelter that mandated cuts in funding due January 1 will result in 2000 people being unassisted and on the streets in King County alone.

Already, the agency is making stark choices. Do they keep treating a long-term schizophrenic whoÂ’s begun to improve and deny treatment to a new patient? Or do they treat the new person and cut off the otherÂ’s care? Untreated, the first one will most likely have a psychotic episode and end up in the hospital or jail or worse.

Now that is insane.

[via Chad]

Free Speech Endangered

I’m not a huge fan of Howard Stern, mostly because I find crass, adolescent humor generally not to my taste. (Actually, that’s not true. I find Chris Rock insanely funny, as well a many other comedians whose humor is quite ribald. Also, I saw Private Parts and found Stern to be a character I could empathize with in different ways. I’m not a moral absolutist.) However, I’m deeply concerned by the trend toward monitoring and fining him for his use of language. I listen mostly to NPR, and the following excerpt from a New York Times essay caught my attention:

Here are just a few of the things we’ve broadcast on our show that now could conceivably result in fines of up to a half million dollars for the 484 public stations that run the program: assorted curse words, people saying ”damn” and ”goddamn” (a recent F.C.C. decision declared that ”profane” and ”blasphemous” speech would now come under scrutiny); various prison stories; and a very funny story by the writer David Sedaris that takes place in a bathroom and that violates all three F.C.C. criteria for ”indecency.” It’s explicitly graphic in talking about ”excretory organs or activities”; Sedaris repeats and dwells on the descriptions at length, and he absolutely means to pander and shock. That’s what makes it funny.

In the past, the F.C.C. would have considered context, the possible literary value or news value of apparently offensive material. And the agency still gives lip service to context in its current decisions. But when the commissioners declared in March that an expletive modifying the word ”brilliant” (uttered by Bono at the Golden Globe Awards) was worthy of punishment, it made a more radical change in the rules than most people realize. Now context doesn’t always matter. If a word on our show could increase a child’s vocabulary, if some members of the public find something ”grossly offensive,” the F.C.C. can issue fines.

–Ira Glass, This American Life, a public radio show.

Change Your Mind Day

Austin will soon observe its third annual Change Your Mind Day. From the press release:

Buddhism has come to Austin and is here to stay: There are nearly a score of Buddhist organizations in Austin to date, from temples to weekly meditation and discussion groups, representing several Asian ethnicities as well as the new American Buddhism, with growing numbers of ordained monks and nuns along with lay practitioners. To promote awareness of this growing movement in Austin’s religious and cultural landscape, on June 5 “Change Your Mind Day” will bring teachers and representatives from most of Austin’s Buddhist centers to a friendly public setting for a day of introductory talks, meditation instruction, chanting, tea ceremony, Buddhist art, and other events, free of charge to the general public.

For more information, visit Buddhism in Austin. This event is hosted by the Austin Zen Center, sponsored by the Buddhist Peace Fellowship, and presented by Tricycle: the Buddhist Review.

Gifted Adults

There seem to be five traits that produce potential interpersonal and intrapersonal conflict: divergency, excitability, sensitivity, perceptivity, and entelechy. The first three traits have been derived from Torrance’s (1961, 1962, 1965) descriptions of creatively gifted children. The last two traits were developed from discussions with gifted adults. These traits seem to be an integral part of giftedness; however, the behavioral manifestations of these traits may vary depending on other physiological and personality factors, such as tolerance for ambiguity, degree of introversion or extroversion, and preference for particular types of sensory input. Gifted adults may exhibit several of the traits. The gifted adults who served as a basis for this article all exhibited at least three (divergency, excitability, and sensitivity).

Although the traits in themselves are neutral, their behavioral manifestations make them socially and emotionally significant. For example, the trait of sensitivity can be manifested as empathy, commitment, touchiness, intensity, or vulnerability. Thus, in any individual, the sum of the behavioral manifestations may be viewed as positive or negative.

Read about these traits in greater detail in Can You Hear The Flower Sing? Issues for Gifted Adults.

Get Out the Vote

A friend recently wrote, “Heads up for an article I thought you might like to read that gets the feministy juices flowing. Its on Salon.com today, entitled Making Women’s Issues go Away by Rebecca Traister.” Here’s an excerpt of the article:

If you’d logged onto the Department of Labor’s Women’s Bureau Web site in 1999, you would have found a list of more than 25 fact sheets and statistical reports on topics ranging from “Earning Differences Between Men and Women” to “Facts About Asian American and Pacific Islander Women” to “Women’s Earnings as Percent of Men’s 1979-1997.”

Not anymore. Those fact sheets no longer exist on the Women’s Bureau Web site, and have instead been replaced with a handful of peppier titles, like “Hot Jobs for the 21st Century” and “20 Leading Occupations for Women.” It’s just one example of the ways in which the Bush administration is dismantling or distorting information on women’s issues, from pay equity to reproductive healthcare, according to “Missing: Information About Women’s Lives,” a new report released Wednesday by the National Council for Research on Women.

My friend continued by saying, “I personally do not like hearing all the statistics as of late of how single woman are one of the largest groups of non-voting peoples and then the commentary that follows on why ‘we’ don’t vote. Of course this ‘we’ is a very heterogenous bunch — but it still irks me, and I’d like to see more done about it.” She mentioned a site focused on trying to bring together large numbers of people to encourage them to vote. It is Dinner for America, which “represents 30 million young people who are trying to make sense of the baffling, absurd, and hilarious world of American politics.”

Alfred Adler & Abraham Maslow

In a brief article, “Alfred AdlerÂ’s Life: Five Lessons for Everyone,” Ed Hoffman highlights five of Adler’s personal characteristics that contributed to his extraordinary influence on contemporary psychology. In another article, “Abraham Maslow: Father of Enlightened Management,” Hoffman clarifies the connections among enlightened management, quality products, and psychologically healthy employees. Both articles may be found at http://go.ourworld.nu/hstein/.

Edward Hoffman, Ph.D., a New York City psychologist, is the author of “The Drive for Self: Alfred Adler and the Founding of Individual Psychology” (Addison-Wesley, 1994); “The Right to Be Human: A Biography of Abraham Maslow” (Tarcher/St. Martin’s Press, 1988); and “Future Visions: The Unpublished Papers of Abraham Maslow” (Sage, 1995).

[via Alfred Adler Institutes of San Francisco & Northwestern Washington]

Inside Books Project 48 Hour Work Party

This coming weekend, the Austin Inside Books Project will catch up on six months of back book requests from people in Texas prisons. They need help to accomplish this task.

When: May 15 to 16, beginning at 9:00 a.m.
Where: at IBP, located at the Rhizome Collective, 300 Allen St. (3 blocks east of E. 5th and Pleasant Valley).

  • Come for one hour or stay for all two days!
  • Food and beverages will be provided.
  • Stuff you might want to bring with you (but not mandatory): a sleeping bag, treats, your favorite pen, books to donate (esp. soft cover English and Spanish dictionaries), music, stationery supplies (esp. stamps, sharpies, packing tape, and large manila envelopes).
  • Monetary donations are also needed to help pay for postage to mail out all the book orders.
  • Book donations can be dropped off to IBP at 12th Street Books (827 W. 12th St), or at Monkey Wrench Books (110 North Loop).

For more information call 512-647-4803 or email insidebooksproject@yahoo.com.

Ah Yes, I Remember

How many among us shared nights like this, were dropped off in front of tract homes for hour-long piano sessions of extreme boredom? Rooms too quiet for living. Grateful to hear the screen door slam behind us as our motherÂ’s car pulled finally up. The damned metronome ticking stopped. The mind could speed up or slow down at will again. Childhood moments uncounting, racing down Schwinn streets, hiding quiet in trees, swimming underwater where it was quietest of all, only the small ear sounds of the day cracking open.

–Lisa Thompson of field notes

Potter and Clay

The clay works toward the purpose of forming a vessel and so does the potter, but it is the potter’s joy and privilege to feel the happiness of the accomplishment of the purpose, not the clay’s.

–Pir-o-Murshid Hazrat Inayat Khan
From: A Meditation Theme for Each Day
Selected and arranged by Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan

Amusing Experiment

For the last few months I’ve been writing a book, so it was easy to have a silent morning, since most of the time Sasha provides my only interaction with another mammal. But by midafternoon, I was missing even the minor human contact I usually had. I called my husband at work. After he said “Hello” and I didn’t say anything, he said, “Oh, it’s you. How’s it going?” Pause. “That well, huh?” Pause. “I love you and you’re very weird.”

Public Service Announcement

During this morning’s usual traffic jam on Mopac, I drove almost the entire distance to work behind an old Mercedes diesel that was billowing huge clouds of noxious bluish smoke. Having just renewed my car registration, which included a notice to this effect, I recalled that the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ, formerly TNRCC) has a “Smoking Vehicle Program” whereby, if you provide a vehicle plate number, date of observation, approximate time and location, TCEQ will send a letter to the registered owner encouraging them to repair their vehicle. (According to the website, it’s illegal in Texas to operate a vehicle that emits visible smoke for more than 10 consecutive seconds, but this is an advisory rather than an enforcement program.)

You can submit a smoking vehicle report online at:

http://www.tnrcc.state.tx.us/air/ms/smokingvehicles.html

Try it. Might not actually do any good, but it’s still vaguely satisfying.

Tonight’s Movie Night!

Another blogger asked for suggestions of movies she should see and why. So I’m going to take her up on the challenge and reply to her, but I thought I’d post them here as well. It’s hard. I could easily list a hundred movies that I’ve enjoyed, or that deeply affected me. But I’ve limited myself to about half a dozen as a beginning. They are (in no particular order):

1. Passion Fish (1992) A story of two women–one recently wheelchair-bound who angrily resists assistance and the reality of her life, the other her nurse attendant, who stubbornly refuses to be driven out because she needs the job–and the transformation of their lives as the relationship evolves into a healing friendship.

2. The Trip to Bountiful (1985) A poignant story of an elderly woman’s “escape” from living with her preoccupied son and stingy daughter-in-law in a cramped apartment, on a journey to visit to her small Texas hometown one last time.

3. The Secret of Roan Inish (1994) A tale of a 10-year-old girl set in beautiful Ireland, who explores the mysteries of a family legend and discovers the magic of an open mind.

4. The Shawshank Redemption (1994) An innocent man is unjustly convicted to a life sentence for the murder of his wife, and demonstrates the importance and resilience of hope within restrictive circumstances.

5. Chocolat (2000) A single mother with a young daughter opens a chocolate shop across the Church in a conservative French town. There is resistance, but over time she wins the hearts of townspeople, and learns that standing her ground rather than fleeing does not compromise her autonomy.

6. Amelie (2001) Sweet, hopeful, quirky Amelie creates meaning in her life by trying to help others and discovers the reward of opening her heart in spite of the risks.

7. Sling Blade (1996) A profoundly moving story on the level of a Greek tragedy, about love and the primitive responses it can evoke.

Aged Outside, Ageless Inside

It’s the oldest story there is about getting older. After a certain age, no one feels on the inside what they look like on the outside. And whose fault is that? Not mine. But it is directly connected to the messages we are bombarded with every day about the virtues of youth, youth and youth. There are so many newspaper and magazine stories lately about plastic surgery — even 20-somethings and 70-somethings are having it — that it is becoming un-American not to. You’re not doing your part for God and country and the denial of death if you’re not being peeled, Botoxed and suctioned within an inch of Nancy Reagan eyes.

I just hate that. And I hate that I’m taking a stand here on this blog for the acceptance of older folks as we are, and even I succumb to the cultural imperative to put a bag over my head so not offend others with my grandmotherly visage. Life shouldn’t be like that. And we should do something to fix it.

–Ronni Bennett, from Time Goes By

[via Fragments from Floyd]