Category Archives: Social Science

Five Things You Might Not Know About Me

Dick Richards, the author of Come Gather Round, tagged me for a meme. I’m to write about five things you might not know about me.

  1. Although I go exclusively by the name Kathryn now, everyone called me Kathy for 25 years (unless I was in trouble with my parents). At age 12, I wanted to make my name (and myself) more special, so I changed the spelling to Kathie. In 1980 I was a finalist in a regional poetry contest, and I went to Wells College in Aurora, New York, to spend the weekend learning about poetry from Bruce Bennett and Dan Masterson (who had recently published On Earth As It Is). The workshop was populated by upper class, privately educated girls from Virginia, Georgia, Delaware, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and Massachusetts. This was my first opportunity to be away from home alone, so I experimented and introduced myself as Kate. I was Kate for three full days; I liked it, but it didn’t stick. I remained Kathie until my mid-twenties.

    When I was about 24, I gave serious consideration to legally changing my name to Kathie. It was a time in my life where I struggled to define myself; I was working in a job that felt too small, living a life that was too tight, still overly concerned with what others thought of me. I’d read an article arguing that women with names ending in “y” or “ie” might be taken less seriously in their professions, and it made sense. It’s a diminutive. I wanted to be substantial. I came to a conclusion: my name is Kathryn. It is on my birth certificate. It is a lovely name with a particularly pretty spelling. Those with the same spelling know that the pronunciation is slightly different. It’s “Kath-ryn” and not “Kath-er-ine.” So I decided to be the name I was given, and I made this known. My family, bless them, accommodated this. I expected them to be the slowest to change, since those who’ve known you longest have the hardest time changing. But in fairly short order that’s how they referred to me and continue to this day. Sometimes they call me Kath — but never Kathie. And you know what? I’m not a Kathy, however it is spelled. I am Kathryn. It suits me.

    One intense pet peeve is when people, upon meeting a person, ignore the name given and shorten it into a nickname. I will correct people who call me Kathy after I’ve introduced myself as Kathryn. And though I do prefer my spelling, I am forgiving of other versions, as there are about 2,000 ways to spell my name (slight exaggeration).

  2. When I was nine years old, I had a love affair with Christmas — in July! Seriously. One summer I filled a composition book — you know, the one with the black and white marbled cover — with drawing after drawing in pencil of various Christmas-related scenes. I drew a manger, scene. I drew me sitting in my pjs on the sofa by our tree. I drew wreathes, ornaments, and bells. I wrote out a wish list for Santa. And I even, that summer, made Christmas decorations from construction paper. I still have all this packed somewhere in a box. Yep, I’ve loved the Yule season since very early on.
  3. The summer I was five we camped near the Sault Ste. Marie river. My father brought us to the beach. My two older sisters (11 and 12 years old) were in the river farther out. They were jumping up and down and waving at an enormous tanker that was heading for the Soo Locks. That ship created quite an undertow. I was mimicking my sisters, waving madly, and was unaware of the undertow until is swept me into a drop-off. Suddenly I was under water, and I could not swim. Everything happened fast and all is a memory of confusion. I remember the sunlit water, feeling surprised at where I ended up. Maybe I breathed in once. But before long — seconds really — I was yanked up by my eldest sister. The next thing I remember is standing at the edge of the beach crying, feeling scared, wanting my father and mother. Just think… you might never have encountered this here weblog, if my sisters hadn’t noticed what happened. The next summer I learned to swim, and guess what? I learned first by swimming underwater. Most kids fear that and learn it last. But I wanted to control whether I went under water, so I chose to learn underwater so I could do that.
  4. I was raised a Roman Catholic. I was a sincere believer and very diligent in attending church. I even thought about becoming a nun. I wanted to be a priest for about five seconds until I killed that thought, seeing as how it had no chance in coming true. But still, I wanted to be more involved in mass, so I became a lay reader of scripture. In Catholic mass, the lay readings are usually a passage from the Old Testament and one passage from the New Testament, but never a gospel. Gospels are reserved for priests only to read. In any case, at age 14 I was tired of listening to old white men droning as they read. I wanted the scripture to come alive to the listeners. So I became one, and I felt that when I read I made a contribution, however small.
  5. I’ve eaten a dog biscuit. It was a game of truth or dare with three girlfriends. I was in my late 30s and had never played truth or dare. It was a sleep-over with these other women, who were all in their mid-20s. (We’d become friends through work, and not long after we parted ways.) I was a reluctant participant. There was a question asked of me that I felt was just nobody’s business, so I took the dare. Let me tell you this: dog biscuits are dry and tasteless, much as I think sawdust would taste. I ate the whole damn thing and choked down a glass of water, and yes, I kept it down. Ugh. After that I decided I was way too old for such games; give me Trivial Pursuit any day.

And there you have it. Now you know five things you probably didn’t know before. You are welcome to play along if you like. Leave a link in the comments if you do. There are some folks I’d like to know more about, though: Laurel, Shirley, Leah, Gerry, and Donna. But the more the merrier!

New Links

First of all, I’m really excited that Creative Every Day has launched. It’s written by the author of Kat’s Paws. Leah began the November Art Everyday Month project in 2003, and I joined her in 2005 and this year. The new blog will focus on creativity (obviously), and I’m looking forward to playing along.

Also, a nod of encouragement goes to Mental Health Minutes. The author, Jennifer Forbes, writes that she is “personally affected by mental illness” and works in marketing, public relations and health promotion as an advocate for mental health. She was born and raised in Saskatchewan. Her blog features links to Canadian mental health resources and guest bloggers.

Sea Change

Okay, it’s 2:45 a.m. and the Senate races aren’t going to be called anytime soon. I’ve got my fingers crossed (so to speak).

I suppose I ought to get some sleep instead. I’m really, truly pleased about the House races and am thrilled there’s a woman Speaker of the House.

And while we still have The Governator (Angelides was a cipher), I’m pleased to see the shift towards Dems in the governorships across the states.

It’s Not Too Late!!

If you live in the Bay Area and want something to do this weekend, you can easily sign up to volunteer with Hands On Bay Area Day on Saturday. It’s a fun event. We have 1800 people registered and room for 200 more.

If you can’t attend a project, please sponsor me and make a donation. I am just $65 shy of my $500 goal. Please consider giving. It’s easy! You may make an online donation with a credit card, or email me to get an address to send a check (kathryn at pobox dot com). Your donation may be anonymous if you wish. I know an average of 70 people visit this blog daily, and many are regular readers. I would be so grateful if you would “pay it forward” with a small donation to to Hands On Bay Area. This is our biggest fundraising event of the year, and we are $13,000 short of our goal.

Your donation can make a difference:

  • $20 — 175 low-income youth would have help with their homework
  • $50 — 460 children and adults with special needs would learn a new skill
  • $100 — 600 lonely seniors would have someone other than their doctor to visit them
  • $1,000 — 25,000 homeless families could sit down to a warm dinner

Any amount can be donated (as little as one dollar). Come on, do it for me? Pretty please?

americorps hard at work!

My AmeriCorps comrades and I worked hard on a Petaluma farm in June 2006. From left to right: Michael Cook, Ambrosia Studley, me, Rachel Stegemoeller, and Joshua Faller. We live to serve!

No Moss Gathering On Me

Oh my goodness, I am a woman in motion. In a previous post I mentioned possible volunteer jobs I wanted to look into and getting more involved at the UU church in Palo Alto.

UUCPA has a talent/volunteer survey on their site one can download and complete. It’s a way to explore how to become involved and find a niche or two in the community. I’ve had it a long time; Sunday I filled it out and emailed it to the office administrator. I received a reply acknowledging this and that one of the ministers would get in touch next week to meet with me. I also received an invitation to lunch after the next service. At first I hesitated, but I decided it wouldn’t kill me to commit to one lunch. (I’m very possessive of my weekend time, especially Sundays, for some reason.) I also decided to attend a potluck dinner this Saturday evening, put on by the members of the Humanist Roots group. They have dinner monthly, and there’s a topic for discussion. I’ll bake cookies and go with a curious mind.

Yesterday I contacted the Read Santa Clara program and learned I’m just in time to attend an orientation on the 16th and join the training program later in the month to become a literacy tutor with adults. I’ll also visit them tomorrow to discuss another program they are developing, the Even Start conversation group program. This will involve facilitating speaking practice with adults learning English who are at a very basic level. And lastly, I’ve contacted the San Jose library and sent an application in to become a reader for kids. I’m playing phone tag with them, and one message indicated there will be a training later in the month. I’m hoping it will mesh with my schedule. (It occurred to me that my mother became a literacy tutor around the age I am now; I remember it was a rewarding relationship of several years with her student, an older woman. I think she was Italian? She used to send us cookies at Christmas.)

The new AmeriCorps members began work today, and it really feels like the days are winding down there. It’s been an intense and sometimes difficult year. I haven’t written about the difficulties, because a blog is not the place to vent about work, but it’s not been all wine and roses (and I’m not referring to the killer schedule). Overall, though, it’s been an excellent experience.

My father emailed me with an idea for possible future work. He pointed out the needs of an aging generation that, as he said, “will set new numbers never before reached in the U.S.” He suggested these folks will need guidance on health and finances and how not to get ripped off by scams. They also need an education on growing old with grace and independence, and how to avoid being warehoused in a facility if they want to remain at home. I’ve considered this trend in the past, and it’s a timely suggestion. There is significant potential for advocacy work as the population ages. I can see the need for education, enlightening people on the process of aging, and fighting ageism. I wonder if I might create some type of coaching practice to provide service for these needs. Hmmm.

Thoughts On the Moment and Declarations of Purpose

Comfort: coming home after dark and settling onto the couch to the feel of warmth that was created by sleeping cats.

Anticipation: wandering through the library book stacks knowing that every single one is mine to borrow and read, thousands and thousands of potential journeys.

Joy: singing silly songs, telling puns, and generally being weird with Husband in a way that only he is privileged to know, and making him laugh.

***

Night arrives fully by 7:00 p.m. these days. Dawn is gray and cool, sometimes foggy here in the South Bay. We’ve turned the corner of a season. This change is gradual, but there is always one day in each season that the realization is palpable and prominent to me.

***

In the next week or so I’ll get a blood test that will assess my hormone levels (FSH, Estradiol). On October 18 we’ll visit the doctor to discuss whatever the results are. What we decide to do will be based on this and further conversations between us, so there’s no more to say on that topic at the moment.

I’ve been feeling sad about my imminent departure from the agency. Three of my four fellow AmeriCorps are renewing, and four new AmeriCorps have been hired (the team increased from five to seven). Soon I will be training my replacement and letting go of my tasks and duties. I’ll cherish the relaxation that follows, but I’m also anxious about becoming bored and lonely. Without a schedule or purpose, without being required by someone somewhere, I tend to get lost in my head. The more alone I am the more unsocial I feel as well as lonely, and then my lethargy increases. This is not the life I want.

I recently had an epiphany about my direction after the service term ends October 31. You see, all my life I’ve felt plagued by the fact that I’m interested in so much and want to advance so many causes. It really has made it difficult for me to define and articulate what I want to do and to search for work. And there were many times that I took work I didn’t want because I just needed an income. Eventually I clarified my goals and became a psychotherapist, but the move to California required sacrificing this.

My year at Hands On Bay Area has given me connections, and it also created my little epiphany, which is this:

The overarching theme throughout my life, the one thread of interest woven through the years, is a devotion to formal and informal education – primarily reading, writing, and soaking up knowledge. The causes I donate the most money to are literacy and libraries. I’m a seeker and an information hound. I am pained to know that so many people do not find pleasure in reading. The average adult native English speaker reads at the sixth grade level. Non-native English speakers average at the fourth grade level. While these next words may seem extreme (it’s an indicator of the passion I feel), I would dare to say that learning – in all its facets, with all it entails – is the most important human pursuit after survival needs are met (note: I consider affectional bonds part of survival). I want my next phase employment to be in the education sector. (My Dad would be proud.)

Even as stated, this is still a broad canvas. It could mean a job in a government education office creating policy, work in a social service agency providing job search or computer training, being a teacher’s aid in an elementary school, working for a public library. But the bottom line, for me, is that I want to devote my efforts to igniting curiosity, promoting creative and critical thinking, and helping people to acquire that most essential key to success, literacy. If I’m lucky, I’ll inspire a passion for reading as well. As I ponder this more, I feel I will want to work in direct service rather than administration. I don’t want to become a school teacher, which requires yet more costly education. There are other ways to promote the life of the mind, and I intend to find them.

As much as my kids tested me to the limit when I worked as an education coach in an after school program, I adored them too. As a treat I read aloud The Phantom Tollbooth (and gave each student a copy as a reward for trying). Whenever I finished a chapter, I was bathed in a chorus of, “Read more, teacher! Please read us some more!” It made me happy to give this pleasure, and I felt sad knowing how uncommon an experience this was for them.

How does this coincide with the efforts to start a family? Well, at the very least I can explore volunteering at several non-profits. So far what has caught my attention are a read-to-children volunteer program at San Jose Public Library, and conversation ESL group work through the Santa Clara City Library. I may also become a literacy tutor. Lastly, Hands On Bay Area offers several projects that contribute to literacy: ESL conversation, organizing a children’s library, story hour with kids at a library. There’s a way to keep my hand in the game. Out of this, perhaps a job will arise. Meanwhile we’ll keep exploring the fertility/family planning issues.

Here’s another way I can keep myself engaged with life. I recently attended service at the Palo Alto UU Church and liked it. I’ve been on their community mailing list for over a year. When the call came to help by baking cookies for The Opportunity Center, I eagerly answered. There are many needs that I could assist with in the church. They also don’t have a program that I would be interested in developing (offered at other churches) – a lay listening ministry. Also (but wait, there’s more!), one of the adult religious education classes starting soon caught my attention, and I decided to register*. I feel ready to delve into this community.

*Class description follows: Continue reading

I’ll Bet New York State Isn’t the Only One

New York Times has a major article on small-town justice in New York State. These are small towns where justice is meted out by people who have zero education in the law. Typically they are thought to handle minor infractions such as ticketing issues. These “backwater” locations are the subject of jokes among lawyers. Really, the law only requires a little common sense, right? Like what’s meted out below?

A woman in Malone, N.Y., was not amused. A mother of four, she went to court in that North Country village seeking an order of protection against her husband, who the police said had choked her, kicked her in the stomach and threatened to kill her. The justice, Donald R. Roberts, a former state trooper with a high school diploma, not only refused, according to state officials, but later told the court clerk, “Every woman needs a good pounding every now and then.”

My hair stood up on end when I read that. And I saw red. The article reports that an examination found that for many years, people have been illegally jailed, subjected to bigotry, denied the right to a trial, an impartial judge and the presumption of innocence. If you want more, read on (subscription required).

Community Organizer Needed in SF Bay Peninsula!!

We still have one more AmeriCorps position to fill. This is a 12-month contract with a stipend of $20,000, health insurance, and a $4,725 education award, and you will be sent to trainings for your professional and personal development, paid for by the agency. It also provides numerous opportunities to network in the non-profit community in the Peninsula. You must be a 18 years old, a U.S. citizen, and have at least two years of college or equivalent non-profit work experience. It does require working in San Francsico three days a week, but train fare will be reimbursed. You will need a car to travel to agencies in the Peninsula. If you are interested, read more for the entire job description, and send your cover letter and resume to jobs@handsonbayarea.org. I also recommend you take a look at our website and learn a bit about us if you apply: Hands On Bay Area.

Continue reading

I’m Staying Out of Trouble

This was a busy weekend! Saturday was the inaugural occurrence of the Snuggles project in the South Bay for HOBA. Everyone who signed up showed up! We met at Barefoot Coffee Roasters, where I had a vat of coffee. Zoom!

On Saturday I baked 16 dozen cookies for the opening celebration of the brand new Opportunity Center in Palo Alto. (Maple walnut and chocolate chip cookies, and trust me, they were delicious.)

That evening I rented a couple of movies for us to watch. We saw V For Vendetta. Eerily timely. It raised provocative questions about terrorism and revolution. V was considered a terrorist by his own government and destroyed government buildings, because he believed his government was evil. Timothy McVeigh thought similarly. One is real life, the other an allegory about truth. I have no answers, and I’m not trying to start a debate. Just noticing the questions, similarities, and differences the movie produced.

Sunday I attended church with the recently transplanted Austin friends at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Palo Alto. I enjoyed the service, and I especially enjoyed attending with my friends. I also experienced sadness, which arose from several sources, and I’ll not go into at the moment.

After the service I came home did some stuff for work (packaged posters to send out to volunteers to hang in their communities for Hands On Bay Area day). Speaking of work, apparently the burglary was more extensive. I got an email from a staff person saying that she’d cleaned up my desk (glass was everywhere) and that there’s no telephone power because the cords were cut. Who the hell steals from a non-profit and vandalizes the office??!!

And then I went to Sur la Table to use a gift card (bought a cutting board) and ran grocery errands, came home to make dinner, went to the bookstore with Husband (but couldn’t find anything I wanted to spend money on), and watched the other movie I’d rented, Everything Is Illuminated. I adored Eugene Hutz. The movie was quirky and surprised me with its poignant turn of plot.

And now, it’s time to fold laundry and think about going to bed.

The Tools of Conquest

The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosives and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices, to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill, and suspicion can destroy. And a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all of its own.

–Rod Serling

Remember

be cool, fool

you have to accept this
reality
whether you
sit at a punch press all day or
whether you
work in a coal mine or
whether you come home
exhausted from a cardboard box factory
to find
3 kids bouncing dirty tennis balls
against the walls of a
2 room flat as
your fat wife sleeps while
the dinner burns
away.

you have to accept this
reality
which includes enough nations with
enough nuclear stockpiles to
blow away the very center of the
earth
and to finally liberate
the Devil
Himself
with his
spewing red fire of liquid
doom.

you have to accept this
reality
as the madhouse walls
bulge
break
and the terrified insane
flood our
ugly streets.

you have to accept terrible
reality.

–Charles Bukowski

Looking for Something Fun to Do In the South Bay/Peninsula?

On September 16, Hands On Bay Area has several fun and easy volunteer projects that also help your community! We need your help. Check these out (the project names are links):

LEND A HAND with the “We Can” Expo (San Jose)
The “We Can” EXPO provides an opportunity for nonprofit & community organizations to receive in-kind donations that will be used directly by the people they serve & inform the public of what they do and need. Volunteers will help unload and carry electronic equipment FROM PEOPLE’S CARS. Rolling carts will be available, but some lifting (20-30 POUNDS) is involved.

SPRUCE UP the “Field of Dreams” at Vargas Elementary (Sunnyvale)
Help transform a promising little patch of land into a bountiful hands-on garden for the students of Vargas Elementary. Plant flowers and shrubs, remove weeds, and pitch in with seasonal activities. Wear close-toed shoes, gardening clothes, hat, sunblock and bring plenty of water.

A PLACE AT THE TABLE with Gateway Family Garden (E. Palo Alto)
Help families who live in low-income housing to build their community and grow their own healthy food! Volunteers work on starting seeds, weeding, adding soil amendments and bark chips. Assistance with art-in-the-garden activities is also welcomed!

LEND A HAND with Snuggles for Animals (Santa Clara)
Do you love to knit or crochet? Join with Hugs for Homeless Animals to make small blankets for animals living at the Humane Society of Silicon Valley. Volunteers should bring their own supplies (machine washable yarn, tools).

SPRUCE UP Half Moon Bay State Beach (Half Moon Bay)
It’s Coastal Cleanup Day! Join the efforts to restore this unique beach and dune ecosystem: work may include cleaning up beach debris, planting native plants, removing non-native plants, and maintaining trails. Afterwards, tour the beach walk or head into cute little Half Moon Bay for lunch.

Visit our website to create an account. Then look at our calendar for September and sign up! You’ll receive an email with location, directions, project time, and who your project leader will be.