Category Archives: Recreation

Recipe For Fun

Ingredients:

1 nearly five-month old baby
Pet store
Parakeets in a big cage
Yourself

Take the baby into the pet store and push the stroller in front of the parakeet cage. Tap gently on the cage containing about 12 blue, green, and yellow parakeets. Say the baby’s name to get her attention and encourage her to gaze toward the cage. Observe the baby observing the parakeets as they flit, screech, tweet, twitter, and hop from branch to dangling toys to feeder. Notice baby’s rapt attention. When she turns to you with her first smile of enjoyment, exclaim how fun it is, smile back, and act excited. Watch her smile and giggle, then turn her attention back to the birds, then look again at you giggling and smiling. Continue for as many minutes as the baby finds it interesting.

Savor. Have as many as helpings as you can as often as possible.

—

Other fun: machines that do nifty things such as clean rug spots by themselves. Now that our cat is becoming older and has more, ahem, stomach and potty issues, and now that we have a child who will soon be eating solids and who drools a lot now, this seemed like a good purchase.

what parents buy for fun

Five Things In My Fridge

Eden tagged me, and I haven’t played a meme in awhile, and so why not?

A Texan’s (and yes, we still consider ourselves as such) diet must include some of this:

5thingsinmyfridge1

Good with carrots and other veggies:

5thingsinmyfridge2

This stuff really is better than boullion. It’s not as good as stock from scratch, but it serves well:

5thingsinmyfridge3

Husband eats the salsa like it’s manna from heaven, and I drink the V8 (an easy way to get some veggies):

5thingsinmyfridge4

Standard fruit supply:

5thingsinmyfridge5

Now it’s my turn to tag five people. How about:
Gerry
Shirley
Donna
Marta
Fran

…and anyone else who wants to play (leave a comment on the post).

Blustery Wet

On this stormy Friday, we actually went out. Claire and I went on a play date at a Las Madres member’s home. Talking with other women was a tonic for me, and Claire enjoyed watching the other babies. I also met someone who’s child was born the day before Claire at the same hospital. A happy coincidence.

I really liked going to the mom’s house rather than meet at the park. (Since the weather is perfect here from April to October, the groups are typically scheduled to meet at a park. Except if you don’t arrive all at the same time, you might miss each other.) So maybe some mothers will host at their homes, and we’ll make some friends.

Speaking of friends, this evening is the 40+ Mothers Night Out. I intend to go, despite the icky weather.

For giggles, please visit Do’s and Don’ts With Babies. Just don’t be drinking a beverage while you look at it. I had an unfortunate encounter with my V8 as I did. Thanks to Tiffany for sending the link!

Fiscal Physical Fitness

I’m middle-aged. I’m overweight. My muscle tone is weaker than it was a decade or more ago. I have a baby. My left knee still hurts from pregnancy. Hmm. I’ve got a bit of a problem.

In 2006 I joined Fitness 19; paid $200 to join and a $12 monthly fee after that. I used the facility sporadically in 2006, even less in 2007. But the monthly fee was so low, it didn’t feel like a huge waste of money. Previously I’d been a member of Curves, which at $40 a month grew too high a price for the limited access (they close part of the day and early in the evening), the limited kind of workout, and the intrusive, over-friendly staff who insisted on “engaging” women during a workout when they might just want to, you know, work out.

Well, tonight I attempted to go to Fitness 19 to work out for the first time since my late pregnancy. It’s located in a strip mall with a puny parking lot, but usually by 7:00 p.m. the place would clear out. However, tonight there were no spaces. People were illegally parked in fire lanes. And there were new signs in certain spaces that said No Fitness 19 Parking. I groaned with frustration. What the hell to do? I turned around and went home. Ooo, I was grumpy.

I was mad. Mad at the parking lot size. Mad at the stupid parking restrictions. Mad that people hadn’t gone home sooner. Irrational, I know. Mostly I felt mad about the limitations on my time. The only opportunity I have to go out alone is after 7 p.m. weekdays and on weekends. However, to be functional, I usually try to go to sleep at 9:30 p.m. daily. This doesn’t leave much time for eating dinner, cleaning up, working out, showering, socializing, or “me” time.

One of the biggest changes for me in becoming a mother has been accepting the loss of “me” time. Mothering calls for much more of me than I imagined. I don’t begrudge this; it’s simply quite an adjustment.

I’m trying to figure out how to care for my physical well-being. Someone suggested the YMCA. Membership is $100 to join and $52 a month, with reduced fees for classes, and reasonable baby sitting services. But at $52 a month, I’d need to be sure I really went; it’s a lot more money, and we’re carefully managing our expenses. The other option is to go out for walks in the evenings in the neighborhood (knee permitting).

But now, since I’m supposed to be getting sleep, I’ll close here. Maybe I’ll wake up refreshed with a solution.

Today So Far

After the last post, I felt better. Freer. My mother called back and gave me excellent motherly support. Then I made peanut butter toast and ate while talking to Claire. Then we played more, then she ate, then she was very sleepy.

So a few minutes shy of noon, I took her to her room and rocked her. By noon she was asleep. And I? I had made sure to use the bathroom before we sat down, I had eaten, and I brought the Charles Schulz biography with me. At the beginning I dozed with her (I recently bought a Bucky pillow to prevent cricks in my neck). About an hour later I became alert when the phone rang. I stirred, she opened her eyes, but she went back to sleep, still on me. I began to read. Finally after 2.5 hours it appeared she’d happily remain asleep, but I was thirsty and my butt was numb. So I rose from the chair, and she woke. She was ravenous.

The Las Madres group I’m in had a date to meet at Central Park from 1-3 p.m. I’ve been going there every day now, and although it was 3:10 by the time we arrived, I approached a young woman with an infant in a stroller. It turned out to be the nanny of one of the mothers. So we chatted and strolled awhile, after which she departed with her charge, and I strolled a bit more with Claire. At 4:00 we stopped at the store for fruit, and then we got home.

She’s in the swing right now, because she’s tired, but she’s a bit restless and whiny. We did play and dance first, so it’s her usual sleep resistance.

I also emailed the Las Madres play group members and another Las Madres support group for mothers age 40+ and shared I was having a rough day. The responses have been sweet and supportive — and I’ve never even seen most of these women. One thing I discovered from reading their responses is that I am not alone in having a child who dislikes napping in her crib, or who takes short naps, or who is assertive and not “an easy baby.” Someone made a point that when she’s mobile, she’ll want to be held less and less, and I might come to cherish the chance to cuddle and rest with her.

And now the Pixie has given in to the Sandman, and is finally asleep in the swing. She’ll wake ravenous again soon, then Daddy will be home, and it’s his turn!

Today’s Strategy

When Claire awoke around 5 a.m., Husband got up and took care of her. I woke at 5:30 though, and decided to start my day, so I took her on after the feeding. Rather than immediately try to get her to sleep again, I decided this was the start of her day and kept her up. She lasted 30 minutes, maybe 45, before she rubbed her eyes. So today I thought I’d try a different way. I held her and rocked her to sleep from 6:15 to 6:45 a.m.; when she was deeply asleep, I gently put her in the crib. She stirred very slightly but remained asleep. I tiptoed from the room and dozed on the sofa. She slept until 8:00 a.m.! She woke crying and hungry.

So we ate and played, and watched the garbage trucks come just outside her window. Around 9:20 she was sleepy, so I rocked and held her again. She does fight going to sleep; arches her back, wiggles, cries with disappointment, while at the same time her eyes are rolling back in her head and her eyelids can’t stay up because she’s so sleepy. She fell asleep within ten minutes, and again I held her for half an hour, then put her down. But Husband had to leave for work, and her room is over the garage, and the movement of the door woke her; she’d slept only 45 minutes.

Then we went to the library. We arrived too late for the baby lap-sit story time. I chatted with a couple mothers and we wandered the library children’s section. (In the past couple of days, the feedback I’ve gotten from mothers is that I’m “leader of the pack” — as one mom phrased it — in terms of getting out with Claire. A number of women said they didn’t make it to outings until their children were at least six months old.) I attempted to go for a walk in Central Park with her, but she started to get tired (again!). We got home at 11:45 a.m. and I fed her at noon. She fussed while she played, so I did the nap routine again. Except that this time, she woke up at half an hour. I put her in the crib, but she became very alert. I didn’t want to deal with crying today. So I picked her up again and returned to the chair. I held her and dozed with her; she slept for 90 minutes.

We went out to the grocery store, drugstore, and cafe, because I needed human contact and she needed stimulation. She was cheerful but became tired quickly. We got home at 3:30 and this time I decided to just put her in the swing. She’s sleeping now.

Supposedly, babies have wakeful periods of about two hours between naps, but it seems Claire has even shorter times. Then there’s the 2-3-4 rule: when babies are 6 months old or so, after first waking, they are usually awake 2 hours before the first nap, about 3 hours before the second nap, and about 4 hours before bedtime. Today is typical for Claire:

Up at 5:00 a.m.
Back to sleep at 6:15 (to finish night sleep)
Up at 8:00 a.m.
Back to sleep at 9:30 (1st nap)
Up at 10:30 a.m.
Back to sleep at 12:15 p.m. (2nd nap)
Up at 1:45 p.m.
Back to sleep at 3:30 p.m. (3rd nap)
Up at 5:00 p.m.
Back to sleep at 7:00 p.m. (bedtime)
Then up twice for feeding, around 11:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m. (total wakefulness usually 1 hour)

That’s about 9.25 hours of awake time out of 24 hours. This means there’s 14.75 hours of sleep. At her age, the typical range is 12-15. It just seems as though as soon as she’s awake, she’s sleepy again.

It’s got me thinking. It seems that the challenge, for me, is accepting this little person’s needs over my preferences. In other words, my work is caring for her. This means slowing down. Maybe I won’t need to hold her for 30 minutes for each nap “forever” — she won’t need me that long. And what would I be doing otherwise? Reading blogs? Checking mail? Folding laundry? Why do I want so quickly to put her down so I can do these other things? (Rhetorical question.) My point here is that a lot of the tasks I feel tugging at me are not truly priorities. Even though the past four months has felt like a lifetime in many ways, she still is only four months old and not even 13 pounds. My strategy for dealing with naps will be first to get her accustomed to being put into the crib by me. That requires holding her, rocking her well into sleep, then putting her down repeatedly. Once going into the crib by Mommy is normal and routine, then perhaps I can reduce the amount of time I hold her bit by bit. At night, Husband has managed to set up a routine of rocking and holding her for 10-15 minutes, then putting her in the crib. Even if she’s awake, she’ll accept going into the crib and fall asleep. That’s my eventual goal.

Something else has got me pondering. Before I became a parent, I rarely though about excretory functions and sleep. (Well, sleep and insomnia have always been a problem for me, but I didn’t read about sleep.) Now I’ve consumed a catalogue of books and websites about how to get my child on a sleep schedule. Each book contains case histories and anecdotes about the various troubles parents have had, and I wonder: what is it about sleep that is so difficult? It’s a basic human need and function. (The same question arose for me about breast feeding.)

I mean, really, think about this. The body gets tired. It needs to sleep. You’d think it would be simple and easy to do. Yet thousands of parents can’t seem to get their children to sleep. Or rather, they can’t get their children to sleep on a schedule that allows the parents to sleep well. I asked my mother what she remembers of raising four children and getting them to sleep. Sometimes we cried a little, and she’d pat our backs and say sweet things like Nighty-night, time for sleep, I love you, and we’d fall asleep. We didn’t, apparently, cry hysterically for an hour or more. Maybe we were “easy” children, or maybe time erases the memories. Regardless, I don’t seem to have an easy child; this has been evident since birth. She’s alert and engaged. Every single time we go out in public — to the store, the library, the park — people say two things when we engage in conversation. One: She’s so small and cute! Two: She’s so alert! The fact that these two comments are made every single time I encounter someone I don’t even know, I realize just how little I do know about babies.

Well, Claire woke up at 4:30 and is complaining about being the in the swing. Perhaps I’ll bring her with me to fold laundry and entertain her by putting my underwear on my head, or something.

Miscellaneous Claire Thoughts

On Thursday, Claire saw her doctor. She weighed 12 pounds, 8 ounces and measured 24.5 inches long. Just 18 days prior (when she went in because she was ill) she weighed 11 pounds, 3 ounces, so she’s gaining well. The doctor pronounced her beautifully healthy. Her Zantac prescription was increased according to her weight (she’s been pulling off the bottle and arching her back during meals recently again). If her discomfort isn’t allayed in seven days, we may need to “graduate” to a different medication. When she received her vaccinations this visit, her response was much different. At the two-month visit, she screamed as though we were sawing off her limbs; it was a scream of pain and betrayal. This time, she broke into deep-chested, rhythmic sobs, the cry of hurt and disappointment. She was soothed more quickly this time. She also had a stronger reaction to the vaccines — a slightly elevated temperature, fussiness, and lots of sleeping followed for 48 hours.

Some other things I notice about Claire but don’t think I’ve written:

  • When she is tired and in the swing or stroller, she sometimes stares at her left hand (her left hand only). She holds it with the thumb closest to her, as though she were about to suck it, except the hand is about four or five inches from her face. She stares intently for minutes.
  • Other times when Claire is tired (and in the stroller or swing), she turns her head to the right and closes her eyes.
  • She has switched from sucking several fingers to sucking her thumb.
  • She also chews and sucks on plastic letters that link together (teething?).
  • Her volume of drool has increased significantly. To help Claire recognize family members whom she doesn’t see often, I dug up photos and had them laminated. This way they will survive drool and whatever folding, spindling, or mutilating little hands manage to do.

Shortly I’ll be heading out to a baby shower for a friend who is due in February. Oh, I am remiss in mentioning that last week my friend Nathania, who assisted with Claire’s birth, gave birth to a beautiful daughter, Elinor Marjorie, on January 6. Claire will have friends to play with!

Meanwhile, we continue to listen to the Music Together CD from the class. I’m pleased with it — the songs are child-friendly but also enjoyable for adults. If you ask people who know me, they’d tell you that before Claire, they rarely heard me sing. Those who grew up with me would explain why: I can’t sing on key. At least, not without music to follow along to. Well, since Claire arrived I’ve improved. I started singing along with (and later without) the Disney children’s music CDs I bought. The more I sing, the better I’m able to hit the right notes. I also make up songs all the time. The Music Together songs are adapted to fit the vocal range for children, so they are accessible to me. Claire really enjoys being sung to and danced with. I’ve reached a point where I don’t care what other people think about my tone or pitch. She enjoys it, and that’s what matters. Sometimes I display musical competence (hit the right notes and keep correct rhythm) and sometimes I don’t, but it’s a skill, and skill doesn’t develop without practice. Most of all, I want Claire to enjoy listening to and making music, and to enjoy her body by moving it. Husband wants this too (he’s definitely got musical competence and played in high school marching band).

On a non-Claire related note, yesterday I made dinner (yes, again!). I made my first-ever pot roast (it cooked to delectable tenderness and created a yummy gravy), baked potatoes, and carrots with raisin sauce. We had friends over (Claire’s Emergency Backup Parents), and they brought champagne and a colorful salad. We savored it all, and later broke out a new came (a holiday gift from my parents) — Apples to Apples. What a fun and easy game! There are child-friendly versions (Kids and Junior) as well as a expansion decks. I believe it’s going to be a new favorite.

Officially Four Months

Four months old! That’s how fast time is flowing!

Claire has several new sounds in her vocabulary. In addition to the creaky door moan, there is a high-pitched squeal that can sound like a prelude to crying or is just a noise she can make because it gives pleasure. The most recent addition is a grunt — “Uhn. Uhhn!” — when she wants something: more milk, a different toy, someone to pay attention to her.

Tummy time remains a challenge, because she flips herself onto her back as soon as she’s placed on her stomach. She’s working hard to turn herself from back to stomach; I don’t think she’s yet made the connection that this action is the “other side of the coin” to the tummy time. Once she does, I’m sure she’ll be rolling all over.

She squeals with delight now and laughs heartily. Some of her favorite games are:

  • Kicking her Lamaze Pupsqueak toy as I hang it over her feet; it jingles and jangles. She especially enjoys this when she’s in just a diaper, because she can use her toes to grab the toy.
  • The finger rocket game; Daddy pretends to launch a missile (his index finger) that goes way up, and it comes down in spirals and wiggles and lands on her stomach. The sound effects are what make this so fun. He makes the sound of the launch, whistles the falling action, and makes a crashing sound when his hand lands. Her face is a rapture of anticipation as she watches.
  • The animal sound game. This is self-explanatory.
  • The kissing game. I kiss different parts of her body and name them (feet, knees, elbow, head, etc.).
  • Claire fishing: we dangle linked plastic letters over her mouth as she’s lying on her back, and she opens her mouth like a fish taking bait. These letters are portable favorites. She rejected pacifiers at about nine weeks when she discovered her fingers, and now the letters and her fingers bring satisfaction.

Claire likes to sit up as much as possible and to stand with support. Her manual dexterity is increasingly refined. She grabs toys with more precision and manipulates them more smoothly.

She reaches out to touch a book when it is read to her and has begun grabbing the page to turn it (not necessarily in the direction of the story).

I’ve made short movies with the new camera (which has sound too), and showed them to her. She is fascinated and transfixed watching herself.

Thursday she sees the doctor for a check-up and vaccinations. Today we’ll begin a weekly class called Music Together at a local community center. I make an effort now to get out more with her; she’s a social being and avidly interested in the world. Coordinating when is a challenge. She continues to have about two good alert hours right after waking and eating before she becomes exhausted and needs a nap. It takes a lot of energy to grow a brain!

claire fishing

The Remains of the Day

By 4:00 p.m. I’ve usually been up about 11 or 12 hours. My energy flags. My blood sugar plummets. I feel myself disconnect, wanting to stare off into the distance, tired of trying to think of another silly sound game or new way to play with a toy. I feel a little lonely at this time of day. Today I called my mother; on the east coast it’s three hours later in the day, so it’s a good time to chat. Talking with her reassured me that my feeling was normal, and that my inclination to slow down is good for me and Claire. While I chatted, I held a rattle in front of Claire (she was on her gym mat) and tilted it back and forth. This fascinated her as she played with the other dangling toys. And the break — the redirection of part of my attention to something other than her — helped me recharge. At the end of the call, I was able to read her five books (these are all short board books), and then I took her up to her room to play “Claire fishing” with linked plastic letters. I even made a short movie. When Husband arrived home, we gave her a bath and tucked her in at 7:00.

I realize that for Claire, every day everything is new. The same rattle she played with yesterday holds new fascination, because today she might be able to manipulate it a bit better. She does not have language or concepts yet, so she doesn’t think herself into boredom. I do attempt to be with her in her discoveries, to experience the world from her perspective. It’s human for energy to wane, though. Playing with the same toys is her practice, and keeping her company (sharing my attention in the moment) is mine.

the remains of the day

The Remains of the Day

Oh Clair

I remember this Gilbert O’Sullivan “two-hit wonder” song from my childhood. It’s a song about an uncle’s affection for his baby niece. (Nothing creepy like Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline). I loved it. Does anyone else? (Remember or love it?)

Perhaps this memory played a part in the process of naming my daughter.


Click here if you can’t see the video on the post.

Lyrics:
Clair. The moment I met you, I swear.
I felt as if something, somewhere,
had happened to me, which I couldn’t see.

And then, the moment I met you, again.
I knew in my heart that we were friends.
It had to be so, it couldn’t be no.

But try as hard as I might do, I don’t know why.
You get to me in a way I can’t describe.

Words mean so little when you look up and smile.
I don’t care what people say, to me you’re more than a child.

Oh Clair. Clair…

Clair. If ever a moment so rare
was captured for all to compare.
That moment is you in all that you do.

But why in spite of our age difference do I cry.
Each time I leave you I feel I could die.

Nothing means more to me than hearing you say,
“I’m going to marry you. Will you marry me? Oh hurray!”

Oh Clair. Clair…

Clair, I’ve told you before “Don’t you dare!”

“Get back into bed.”
“Can’t you see that it’s late.”
“No you can’t have a drink.”
“Oh allright then, but just just wait a minute.”

While I, in an effort to babysit, catch up on my breath,
what there is left of it.

You can be murder at this hour of the day.
But in the morning the sun will see my lifetime away.

Oh Clair. Clair…

Oh Clair.

My Little Sack of Potatoes

Claire is getting heavy to carry! I think we may have a baby carrier that’s a winner.

When she was born, we first tried the Infantino sling. Claire hated it. It required her to be horizontal, and this wasn’t comfortable with the reflux. It was also dark and hot.

We tried a Moby wrap. Getting the damn thing wrapped around me and arranged was a lot of bother, and she hated it too, because she had to face inward. This child prefers to face the world. I know when she’s bigger she could face outward — the Moby wrap allows for all sorts of positions — but it lacks structure, and I think that bothered her too.

We did a little research. Consumer Reports rated the top three carriers as the Baby Bjorn Active ($120), the Baby Bjorn Original ($80), and the Kolcraft Jeep 2-in-1 ($40). They were rated on safety, ease of use, and comfort.

So today we all went to the store and tried on the Evenflo Snuggli (way too many straps and clips), a Baby Bjorn Active (we didn’t like the snaps at the bottom and it was pricey), and a Kolcraft Jeep 2-in-1. The only one she did not cry in was this last one. So we bought it and brought it home. At first she cried in it when we faced her inward. Facing outward she started crying but was soon distracted by watching Grandma cook, and then Husband took her for a short walk, and she was fascinated. My hope is the trepidation of the unknown will diminish and she’ll “take” to it. This would allow me to go to the grocery store and other short outings without lugging the stroller.