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Category Archives: Motherhood
Down
I woke up feeling icky and got worse. A gastrointestinal thing. Husband stayed home and I slept most of the day. Bean refuses to take milk from anyone else but me and only in a bottle still. So this afternoon there were storms of tantrums, because I wasn’t available. I guess we need to get serious about the switch to sippy cups and eliminate the bottles (she drinks water out of sippy cups). My reason for hesitating until now has been: she won’t eat yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, or ice cream, so milk is her only dairy and significant source of calcium. She rarely eats meat of any kind and refuses eggs and tofu; thus milk is her protein source. She is still underweight for her age. She eats a lot of fruit, veggies, and bread and cereals, but won’t eat pasta. She is an active child, always walking, climbing, dancing, etc. So I’ve continued to give her a bottle and not restrict the amount. I recently weighed her (last week), and in two months she only gained 12 ounces. She is still shy of 19 pounds. (And believe me, I’m getting real tired of all the comments on how small she is. How ironic that in about 10 years she will feel tremendous pressure to weigh less and may obsess about extra weight!)
I hope I feel better tomorrow. It’s no fun for any of us when I’m sick.
Art Every Day Month – Day 13
Bean and I found a leaf on a walk at Central Park yesterday. It was distinctive, and I thought immediately that I should try drawing it.
Art Every Day Month – Day 11
This wasn’t the best day for creativity. I spent the morning at the doctor’s office waiting (much too long) to get a TB skin test. Bean and I will start a parent-participation preschool class next week, and because I’ll be in contact with other kids, they need to know I won’t visit a plague upon them. The rest of the morning and much of the afternoon were spent with my friend and her little girl, and I cooked as well. So my inspiration today was what Bean was wearing — teal pants with little pears and hearts and cherries on them. I’m not particularly happy with the result, but the effort and process have equal value.
Just Today
In just this day, Bean added more words: hammer, pliers, wrench (from her chunky puzzle), happy, crying, climbing, sad. I’m actually awed. I don’t know what is “normal” or “average” for a 14-month-old in terms of language development (articulation and comprehension), but I’m just impressed at how each day she increases her understanding of the world.
This Child Of Mine
I’m raising a little sponge. Bean has more words now. What’s so fun is she is game to attempt to say anything. If you ask her, “Can you say [insert word]?” she will try it. It’s uncanny how well she pronounces words too. Here are her latest acquisitions:
achoo, back, beans, book, boom, bounce, bubbles, bunny, cracker, cuddle, dolly, down, Edgar (her elephant), empty, fork, front, full, gate, jump, mouse, Obama, over, people, pineapple, puzzle, spoon, tick tock, toast, toy, under, up, water, wheel
She also has started calling her little friend (whom she sees most often) by her first name, except she shortened it from a three-syllable name to one: Fee (Sofia).
And she cuddles her stuffed animals and snuggles into our embrace with intense affection. She’s a bright joyful little beam of energy in our lives. How I adore this kid!
Art Every Day Month – Day 8
This week’s theme for Illustration Friday is wise, and owls were my first thought. Bean adores owls and loves to say the word, though she has yet to catch on what they say (who? who?). So here is my attempt at drawing a barred owl. Owls have such improbable faces.
Art Every Day Month – Day 3
A little early morning creativity in my journal. It’s mixed media collage on 7 x 10″ sketch paper. The quote is by Hui-Neng, and it’s been a favorite of mine for years.
Art Every Day Month – Day 2
My effort today is less art and more craft. (Not that knitting isn’t art, but a simple dishcloth is pushing the concept; now a lace shawl or something akin — that is art.) However, this is what I created today. Recently Husband purchased a knife sharpening kit and sharpened all our very dull blades. This has made cooking much easier and more fun; however, we learned the hard way that we cannot wash the knives with my hand-knitted dishcloths. One of them was shred to bits, and so this one replaces it.
I spent a lovely afternoon visiting with a relative — a second cousin on my father’s side of the family. She was a fascinating person to talk to and before I realized it, I’d been there nearly four hours. I learned a couple years ago that I had relatives in the Bay Area, but without a premise for contact I didn’t pursue it, and I was busy, so the time wasn’t right. My parents recent visit catalyzed the connection.
Bean had a rough day today. I felt her gums, and she has an upper left molar coming through, plus the rest of her gums are very puffy. She has new words, though: all done, bird, cracker, excuse me (coo-mee), gate mouse (mess), pear. She mimicks what she hears really well.
It Was Fun
Bean’s still a little young to understand Halloween, hence the lack of a fancy costume this year. Among the many animals she likes is the owl, so she was happy to wear this outfit. We went to Westgate Mall where the majority of stores participated in trick-or-treating. The place was hopping! Next year we may go out into the neighborhood, but since it’s raining here today, this seemed like the best plan. She doesn’t have much interest in sweets generally, though we did give her little bits of gummy bear, and she ate them. Her favorite prize was the large brown leaf she found on the floor, which she clutched in her right hand as we made our rounds.
I Have Been Remiss
This has been a busy week, in part because we welcomed a new little person into the world. Our friends, M&K, gave birth to a beautiful daughter on Tuesday, October 28. (M&K are Bean’s godparents/emergency backup parents.) Because I don’t know how public they want this information to be, I withhold particulars at this time. But she is healthy and beautiful, and in about a year she and Bean will be active playmates.
And to all: Happy Halloween!
In Case You Wonder
Besides playing with my lovely amazing daughter every day, I do other stuff too, such as clean the very gunky oven and making the whole stove sparkle like new. Here is evidence of my efforts:
I committed to doing Art Every Day Month in November. However, I’ve no idea what I’ll do, or if I’ll do much at all. I’ve never felt busier in my life, nor more content.
A Busy Brain
Bean understands more every day and demonstrates it in many ways. Here are some examples.
- The other day we were getting ready to leave, and I was searching for her sippy cup. As I looked around I said, “Where’s your cup? We need it to go bye-bye.” I continued to scan the living room muttering that I had just seen it somewhere. Then I turned around, and Bean was toddling back from the kitchen with the cup in her hands, and she walked over to the diaper bag and laid it on the top.
- When I ask her if she needs a dry or clean diaper, sometimes she nods yes. When I tell her we need to go change her diaper, she walks over to the stairs and waits for me to open the gate.
- Bean will stand at her bookcase and pull books off the shelves one after another as she searches for the book she wants read to her. Sometimes I’ve suggested a book (Let’s read Trucks!) and she finds a book about trucks and hands it to me.
- I started asking her to say “please” when she wants a book re-read to her. A couple of times she did say it, but then she decided to resist. She’ll shake her head, say “No,” and emphatically make the sign for more. If I persist in telling her to say please, she gets mad and upset. I’ve decided that when it comes to saying please, I’ll start with modeling the behavior for her. I also don’t want to get into a fight with her about saying please at this age, especially over reading books. And while I think she understands the concept of “no” to some degree, I also think she gets confused. There are times she says no when she clearly means yes.
- When she hears a plane (or helicopter), she declares Pane! Pane! When she hears the rumble of a loud truck engine, she says Ca! Ca! (her word for truck). Also, when she sees a plane in the sky, even when it’s very small because it’s far away, she becomes excited and shouts her word for it and babbles. Sometimes she mistakes a bird in flight for a plane as well, but she’s starting to make the distinction. The other day she pointed to a black bird and said crow (though the “r” sounds like “w” still).
She’s also added new words: bag, bear, bow-wow, bubbles, bus, crow, foot, neigh, ooo-ooo (monkey), pop, poop, quack, sneeze, tummy, tunnel.
Makes Me Happy
What a gorgeous morning. We went to a pumpkin patch (we arrived by 9:30 before the hordes of families) and I got some vibrant shots, like this one:
First Art!
Bean picked the crayon colors herself. It was fun to watch her expression as she realized that she was making the marks on the paper.
Random Stuff
We have not had a working oven since Thursday night. The lock mechanism (operated by computer) got stuck shut. We’ve used the lock since Bean began crawling to keep her from climbing in or pulling the oven down on top of herself. Two people had to come out Friday (the first one wasn’t fluent in English and his manager came out after him to work on it); a part needs to be ordered. We do have a stove that works, however. It’s a new stove, installed March 2007. Bummer. We rent, though, so we won’t pay for the repair.
Bean came down with a little cold on Sunday. Today was the worst of it, I think. Another tooth has also been emerging, so she’s been a wet, snotty, drooly mess, poor kid. We’ve been staying mostly home which gives us cabin fever.
Tomorrow she and I will go get our flu shots. Whee!
My energy has ebbed in accord with hormonal fluctuations. There must be something about the body’s preparation for conception that draws all the energy inward. Once my period starts all the energy comes rushing back. I expect to be perkier by the end of next week (and I dearly hope sooner). The earlier sunsets don’t help with this low energy.
Tomorrow a young woman will come to assist me for a couple hours and get to know Bean and our routine. She will be a regular babysitter, probably every Wednesday for a couple of hours, plus an occasional evening for Husband and me. The fee is extremely reasonable at $10 an hour. It still seems like an extravagance for me, but I remind myself that I rarely indulge in manicures, lattes, clothes, etc. And we pay about the same amount of money every month for cable television which I rarely watch, so I guess $20 a week for sanity is affordable. It’s cheaper than therapy, even if I were to hire her twice a week!
Across Generations
My father is a private man. I am not like him in this regard, but we share the traits of introspection, intensity, and curiosity. He is a man of his generation, which meant our relationship sometimes felt distant to me when I was younger; he was focused on providing for his family’s needs, and expressing tender emotion was not a language he knew well. His love comes out as worry and preparation against difficulty. As I grew up, he was serious and strict, and I was stubbornly resistant in subtle, and later blatant, ways. But a grandfather’s relationship with his grandchild is different by orders of magnitude. I wondered how my father would interact with Bean. What I witnessed was the unfolding of his delight and tenderness, of patience and amusement and amazement. I’m sure I was once the recipient of similar expressions, but I was too little to register them, and so it was a reward for me to observe them together. Bean brought him book after book to read, and she enjoyed playing the What’s In Grandpa’s Shirt Pocket? game. This photo of them is a gem.
More Words
In the past week, Bean’s vocabulary has exploded. I’m posting this as a way of tracking the genesis of her speech. Among the words she says (not as distinctly as adults, but clearly enough and pointing to the thing):
achoo; all done; apple; baa; baby; ball; balloon; bath; bathtub; bead; bear; bee; butterfly; buzz; bye; car; cat; clock; cow; cup; daddy; door; down; ears; eyes; feet; flower; glasses; goat; hi; knee; mommy; moo; moon; mouth; okay; owl; peek-a-boo (she started covering her eyes to play); popsicle; potty; purple; shoe; sky; sock; squirrel; star; store; sun; tattoo (I have two); thank you; tick tock; toes; tree; truck; tum tum; turtle; and the she can identify the letters Q and C and numbers 1 through 6.
I’m One Of The Lucky Ones
Unfortunately the camera didn’t focus properly when Husband took this photo. The composition is perfect, the poses and smiles capture a moment of happy synchronicity. Just pretend the fuzziness is a result of viewing the photo with tear-blurred eyes (tears of joy, of course).
My mother was only 20 years old when her mother died at age 56 of breast cancer. My mother was married and living in Texas (my father was in training in the Army there); she did not get to spend time with her mother in that last year of her life.
Mom went on to have four children with the nearest immediate family living 150 miles away, in an age when using the telephone long distance was expensive. There was no such thing as email. Money was not overly plentiful, so trips to see family were not frequent events. Somehow she had the emotional fortitude to make a life for us: nightly dinners, handmade clothing, decorating for holidays, nursing our illnesses, washing, cleaning, marketing on a budget, introducing us to books and libraries, songs, and so much more. She always imagined she would become a grandmother. After 44 years it happened, and because of some health challenges, it was 45 years before she got to be with her beautiful, lively granddaughter. But at last it happened.
Taking care of a busy little child meant that our conversations were broken and scattered. We did not have any private mother-daughter time. However, the last day of the visit she pulled me against her as we sat on the sofa, and I sank into her gentle body. We all talked as I leaned against her, and she patted my arm as only a mother can. I couldn’t keep the tears back, but I tried to be quiet and discreet as I wiped my eyes.
As I drove to the airport, we held hands. And we hugged and kissed at the terminal.
She has the softest skin, my mother.
75
Today is my mother’s 75th birthday. Here she is with Bean on her lap, reading a book to her. It’s difficult to articulate the precious feeling inside me when I see my daughter and mother together. Happy birthday, Mom!
