A child kicks its legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, Do it again; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough… It is possible that God says every morning, Do it again, to the sun; and every evening, Do it again, to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike: it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.
–G. K. Chesterton
Category Archives: Motherhood
I Love Her
As the family photographer, very few photos get taken of me, especially me and Claire. When my mother-in-law visited around the new year, she took a bunch of photos. (She is an avid photographer and quite good!) I asked her to send some of the images so that I could post them on Flickr, and here are two I thought I’d share with the world. They were taken in January at the SF Zoo. (You can see and purchase more of her work at her website, Kay Harper Photography. All rights on these photos are reserved.)
Observations
Below is the New Yorker cover for June 29, 2009. Claire looked at it tonight, and this is what she said (note: she is still confused on gender pronouns):
“Man scared. Man can’t see, looking. He klunked. Yes, he’s looking, he klunked.” Klunked is Claire’s term for falling over. I can only guess that the look on the woman’s face seems like an expression of surprise, which is what Claire usually feels when she klunks. I’ve got an observant little kid on my hands!
Budding Jazz Aficionado
I’m so happy to have my little girl healthy again. Husband took the video below this evening. He introduced her to Dave Brubeck, because she really like the jazz songs on her Music Together CDs. If the video doesn’t play, click this link to see the movie.
The Pace of Things
With the forecast today predicting that it will hit between 101 and 107 here, and given that we live in a house with no air conditioning, life will move at a snail’s pace around here today.
Claire’s fever finally broke on Friday (until then it was pretty high, around 103.4). We saw the doctor on Tuesday afternoon; he said it wasn’t hand-foot-mouth disease because he saw no cankers in her mouth or throat. It was simply a garden-variety virus that would run its course and that I should keep her hydrated and as comfortable as possible. She says still that her throat hurts and she sounds hoarse, but she’s back to eating almost regularly and playing.
That meant my birthday and the rest of the week was fairly low-key and solitary, but this is okay. I got to hold and cuddle one of my best gifts ever. I will say, though, that if I were graded as a parent based solely on Thursday, I’d probably get a C or D. It was a rough day for us both, and I handled it with less grace than I could have.
The goal today is to stay cool and well.
No Fun
Poor sweet Claire is ill. We thought it was teething at first, because she said her teeth hurt and her mouth hurt on Saturday. Yesterday I saw very faint red spots on her legs during bath, and a small little pimple-like bump in the corner of her mouth. Today she spiked a fever, doesn’t have much appetite. The advice nurse thinks it may be hand-foot-mouth disease (not to be confused with foot and mouth disease); this illness causes very painful sores in the mouth. When we put her to bed, her temperature was 101.2 after a dose of infant Motrin.
She says, “Mommy don’t put you down. Hold. Mommy make it better.” She spent much of the early evening lying on her tummy against my tummy. She asks for ice cream to eat; it’s cool for the mouth and the insides, and I don’t say no, because it’s full of calories.
The Early Bird
OMG, I haven’t got my child enrolled for preschool this fall! Nearly every other mother I know whose child is about to turn two has taken care of this. I haven’t since I thought we’d be moving and wanted to see where we’d be before I pursued this.
Oh no. My child won’t be ready for kindergarten! (Never mind the fact that I never went to preschool, and I did just fine.)
The Language Instinct
She spins in circles and says, “I’m getting busy!!” and laughs when she falls down.
She adds plural ending to words that are already plural: gloveses, shoeses, kidses.
She adds “ed” to verbs in current tense to make them past-tense: “It breaked,” “I eated.”
She sits in her wading pool, looks up at the trees blowing in the wind and says, “The trees are dancing.” She sees a butterfly and says, “It’s so beautiful.” She puts on her crown and says, “I’m very cute!”
Some day I will get around to reading Steven Pinker’s book, The Language Instinct: How the Mind Creates Language, but right now I’m observing it in action. It’s wonderful!
In One Day
Voila!
This weekend I made a magic wand for Claire out of a wooden dowel and some pieces of wood my father gave me years ago. I painted it a light shade of purple and used a second coat of translucent silver paint to add shimmer. Then I coated the tip in silver glitter and used a glossy gel to seal it.
I thought about trying to add ribbon streamers to the tip, but I concluded that a simple design was better. The magic, of course, will be imbued by Claire herself. I hope she finds many hours of fun with it.
Getting So Big
Dress-Up
Claire is beginning to show interest in dress-up and playing pretend. I wear headbands, and she calls them crowns. She has a little satin purple headband that she calls her crown. I have a large basket waiting for dress-up items. I bought her a tutu today (there is no way I have the skill or the tools to sew one). Here are some things I remember from childhood that I’d like to have:
Cowboy vest and hat
Cape
Fancy dresses
Gloves
Hats
Scarves & ties (I’d like to get her a feather one too)
Wigs
Jewelry
Shoes
The trick is, I don’t want to spend a fortune. I looked at many kid toys sites, and an outfit for one thing (like a fireman) can run up to $40! I paid a little more for the tutu than I wanted, but I told myself I’d likely not find it much cheaper unless I made it myself. (It can double as a fairy outfit, and I will make a wand for her out of my art supplies.) I can try to hit Goodwill and garage sales. And I’m not insisting on child-size clothes; adult outfits can be fun to wear. If any reader has items they would like to unload, please let me know. (I don’t own fancy dresses.)
We desperately need a child-size table and chairs as well. Space is an issue, but she deserves a right-size workspace of her own. The cost, again, is a factor. Small furniture can carry big prices!
Treasures
Although we live in an urban area, Claire and I find many natural treasures. We bring them home and put them in a shoe box to explore later. There are duck feathers, crow feathers, seed pods, bark, pine cones, and stones to examine. Claire has lost interest in playing on slides and swings. She prefers to take walks, preferably long ones. She’s very good about holding our hand when we tell her to and when the street is busy, but she cherishes the chance to walk “all by myself” — and when we are on a quiet street or in a park, I give her that chance every time.
Month 21
Today Claire is 21 months old. She sparkles more by the day.
Claire has a fuzzy sheep toy she was given at Christmas. Until recently he was benignly ignored, but he has become popular enough to be requested in bed. The other morning when I went to get her from the crib, she hugged him and said, “His name is Baa.” And so she has named her first toy. (All the other toys with names are ones we have bestowed and she has used, but this is the first toy she has named herself.)
She has acute hearing. One of the most frequent words we hear daily is “noise.” This is her way of commenting that she hears a sound and a request from us to identify it. Many times a day we have such exchanges:
Claire: Noise.
Me: That’s a motorcycle.
Claire: Moto-cycle.
—
Claire: Noise.
Me: That’s an ambulance siren.
Claire: Goes so fast!
Me: Yes, an ambulance goes fast.
—
And so on, perhaps 30 times a day, for car horns, people shouting, phones ringing, car stereos thumping, etc.
Claire has always been fairly passive regarding possessions. If she is playing with a toy and another child yanks it from her grasp, she lets it go. She’s not always happy about it, but she has never yanked it back or been aggressive. It concerns me a little; the world is full of grabby people, and I wonder how she will become assertive. Also, if there is something being given by an adult, such as stamps on the hand after class, and there is a crowd of kids, she will hang back. She wants to get the stamp but will wait until everyone else has gotten theirs. Even if she gets to the teacher first, if another child approaches, she moves away. In the pet store the other day she wanted to look at fish. A little boy toddled up next to her to look in the same aquarium, and she moved away. Wherever she went, he followed (the boy was curious and friendly), and she kept moving; she could not get the chance to look alone. I’m not sure what to make of this. It’s probably best if I make no conclusions.
Anyway, we have a book by Karen Katz she has read for many months called I Can Share. It features scenarios where little kids have something another wants, and the child who has it says, “MY [doll, shovel, snack] you can’t have it, but maybe…” and on the next page is says “You can play this this doll”; or “We can make a castle together;” or “I’ll give you a box of your own.” After several scenes like this, the book ends with, “Now I know how to share, and I like it!” and shows two kids sharing crayons.
While compromise may not seem like sharing, what I have learned is that at this age it’s important for a child to feel secure in possessing an object before she will share willingly. To be able to say, “I’m using this, but you can play with that toy, and when I’m done I’ll give it to you,” is important. But that’s not my point here. All this has been background providing context for this: when someone takes a toy from Claire these days, she says, “I can’t share! I can’t share!” This is her way of telling the child to give it back and alerting the adults she’s upset. She has bypassed the physical aggression stage to using her words. Way to go!
Speaking of words, the sentences become fuller and more complex all the time, and her vocabulary grows. For some reason, certain words strike her as hilarious. The most recent ones that make her laugh are sprout and underpants.
Today I announced we were going to Target to shop. I said to Claire, “Mommy needs to buy some new underpants.” And Claire said, “I want underpants too!” So I bought her a set of little girl undies, not that she’s anywhere near ready to use them or be potty trained. (I also bought a package of Pull-ups, which is what we will start using when potty training commences.) However, she was very happy to have her very own underpants. I told her she was growing to be a big girl, and when she felt ready to tell me about needing to use the potty she would be ready to wear those.
Given how these 21 months has zoomed by, that will come soon enough.
The Latest
So many tidbits to share about Claire, who is such a marvelous and interesting little person. Without further ado:
- She’s becoming more aware of feeling and articulation and is building a narrative. One say she fell down hard on her back at Little Gym after stepping on a ball. She was uninjured but scared. The next week when the balls were brought out, she started to cry and said, “I’m scared!” and then “I want a hug.” I held her while she watched kids play with the balls. She is also fascinated by trains, but finds them scary. We often visit the train station and watch about four trains come and go. She told her father the story about how their loud screeching brakes frightened her.
- Claire also finds certain songs in minor keys that sound mournful to be scary, such as All the Pretty Little Horses, or certain Loreena McKennitt songs.
- When she gets mad of late, she often throws down what she is holding – a book, stuffed animal, crayon – and announces through tears and wails that she has thrown the item down. Or she spits and then says, “I’m drooooooling!!!!” Or she bangs her head against a wall and cries that she is hurt. It’s so dramatic. It’s so clear that she is angry and the only way she can express it is to throw down something she values or to hurt her self and then cry and exclaim what she did. She also narrates her actions: I’m crying, I’m sad, I’m mad. I think it’s wonderful that she can say these things. I hope she outgrows the self-injury behavior soon, though.
- When Claire leaves her music class, she says, “Bye-bye, music class.”
- We are teaching her the word please. I used to say, “Can you ask for [X] nicely?” And she’d parrot, “Nicely.” Then I’d ask her to say please. And now it’s a game. Sometimes I request she ask nicely, and she says “Nicely,” and I look at her and say, “No, come on, what’s the magic word?” To which she replies with a cheesy grin, “Pleeeeeeeeease!” Yet she also more frequently uses the word voluntarily when asking for something.
- Claire is discovering more of her body. She announces while getting dressed or bathed, “I have nipples!” and touches them. The other day I changed in front of her, and she said, “Mommy has nipples. Mommy has owls!! Owls!” I can she how she would think that part of my anatomy looks like owl eyes.
- She knows her belly button, and below that are what we call her “girl parts.” I was changing her diaper, and she reached down with her hand and said, “Girl parts!” I replied, “Yes, those are your girl parts.” She exclaimed, “I LOVE girl parts!!” Made me laugh. (And yes, I’m aware this of one of those stories she might cringe over later; I’m still pondering when I will start restricting these little stories to email.)
- She sings a lot: ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Two Little Blackbirds, Ally Galoo and more. I’m amazed with her retention.
- The other day after I sang her nap lullabies, Claire said, “The end,” and kissed me.
- Claire has used the potty four times to pee. It’s not something I press, but it’s interesting she is expressing interest.
- She nows plays pretend with her toys. She changes Waddles the penguin’s diaper, does nosy-nosy (Eskimo kisses), tickles the toy, asks if he prefers to hear one song or another.
- We have had to put the Babar book away for now. The first Babar book explains how he came to be alone – a hunter killed his mother. Until recently it didn’t bother her. Then one morning as Husband read that part, she went ballistic with tears and demanded me. She has been very intensely attached to me more of late. I’m sure she doesn’t understand the concept of killing, but she does grasp Mommy, gone, and sad.
- We have a going out ritual that I think helps her deal with separation anxiety. She stands at the top of the stairs and says, “Mommy close the door.” I go through the door to the garage to put stuff in the car, and behind me as it closes I hear a wail. I turn around immediately and go back, and she is standing on the top step looking worried and relieved with her arms outstretched. I pick her up and we go to the car.
- We take daily walks in the neighborhood and find interesting things to explore. We found an almost whole eggshell that looked as though it had hatched a bird. We’ve seen snails and explored how their antennae curl up when touched; I picked them up the by the shell so she could see the underside. We sniff flowers (we love jasmine), pick up pine cones, and watch ants. We do the “silly walk” (sort of a goose-step) or walk on tippy-toe. I’m not self-conscious about being seen doing silly things; I even caught a driver smiling at us.
- She’s still fascinated by trucks, and we watch the garbage truck every week. She says she wants to ride in it.
- Claire also says some other charming things, or speaks sentences that surprise me, such as:
- ’Member to look out for cars! Don’t bump cars.
- Crayons are fun! [sniffs them] They smell good!
- Daddy reading a magazine on the sofa.
- I love [this book, cookies, bubbles]. (I find it interesting that she has naturally come to use “I love” as an expression of enthusiastic endorsement of things she likes.)
- One of her books features a lost kitten adopted by a family of mice. He encounters milk in a saucer, though, and his brother mouse warns him it’s probably poison. He drinks it and says, “Mmmmmm! Wonderful stuff!” Claire also says after drinking water, “Wonderful stuff!”
- There’s another book she loves: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. If you give a mouse a cookie, he’s going to ask for a glass of milk, then a straw, then a napkin, etc. Well, upon reading this to her the other day, she requested milk in a glass with a straw and drank about three ounces! This is four months after we took her bottles away. She has only drunk a sip from a straw and glass since that request, but it’s a start. She did eat half an ounce of smoked mozzarella yesterday, too.
Claire will be 21 months old in about a week. We’re having the time of our lives.








