Category Archives: Humanities

The Commute: Living in a Metal Box

Austin is growing up (or out, depending on perspective). As written in the Austin American Statesman:

…the “travel time index,” indicates what percentage of extra time travel takes in each city during peak travel times… In Austin, the travel time index in 2001 was 1.31, meaning peak trips take 31 percent longer than free-flow trips. That was up from 1.27 in 2000. In 1990, before the boom, that number was 1.12. That equates, the authors say, to 30 hours of delay per person per year. That’s about five minutes a day. The numbers for other Texas cities: Dallas-Fort Worth, 1.33 and 36 hours; Houston, 1.39 and 37 hours; San Antonio, 1.21 (down from 1.23 in 2000) and 18 hours.

So we’re playing with the big kids now. Although at least we aren’t on par with Los Angeles — it has a time travel index of 1.83, up from 1.80 in 1990.

When there’s congestion, road rage is not far behind. How can you reduce stress while commuting? How do you avoid road rage incidents?
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How to Be Your Own Best Friend

The psychotherapy community and self-help industry toss around all sorts of phrases, such as “self-esteem,” “the inner child,” and “being your own best friend.” These are worthy concepts but are often difficult to actualize. I mean really, if you don’t like yourself, and it’s your thinking you need to change to become your own friend, how do you change your mind when you’re already against yourself?

Despite what clients may think, therapists are human. Some of them have to learn how to heal and become their own ally. That’s what makes a good therapist, I think — someone who has been there understands the struggle and, having developed self-esteem, can offer hope to those who strive to learn the same.

In the work I do, people are often harsh with themselves. When a client is berating herself, I suggest she imagine a close friend coming to her in the same situation, or with the same problem. Would she be as judgmental toward her friend as she is toward herself? Often the answer is no. So the work we face is to help the client to be as gentle with her own heart as she is with others’.

The change occurs first within the heart, and then the mind follows. This is a contradiction to cognitive psychology, which holds that emotions arise from thought. Sometimes they do, and they can be altered by examining thoughts for negativity, so that more constructive thought patterns can be developed. But there is a core disposition toward oneself and others that is beyond the realm of words, that only the loving presence of another can help foster in a wounded psyche.

Last night I read a simple but powerful poem that articulated exactly this type of self-love.
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Remembering to Be

I went for a hike yesterday at a local park. Although situated within the city of Austin, the trail winds through land that feels remote. The path is shady, and it winds over a creek in numerous places. The occasional breeze ruffled my hair as I wandered over sun-dappled ground. Because it’s located near water, the trail featured a variety of vegatation, including moss, ferns, and water-loving Cedar Elms and Sycamores. There were also Texas Mountain Laurels, Twisted Yucca and Agarita.

While hiking, I became absorbed in the task of locomotion and would forget to see my surroundings. Now and again I would remember to bring myself back to the world, to pause and notice the colors, textures, and smells around me. At one point there was a pool of trickling water nestled by the hill. Dozens of yellow-jackets were convened on rock by the water’s edge. It was fascinating to watch them. I could only assume they were attracted to the water; I’d not seen a convention of bees before!

Even in Texas, there’s a scent in the air that suggests autumn. Although the temperatures continue to climb into the upper 80s, the light is softer, the glare less intense. The scent of autumn lingers — clearer air, a whiff of spice and musk that exudes from decaying leaves. The other night as I took a walk around the block in my neighborhood, I heard and owl. I was delighted. I stood still, with my ear cocked skyward, and every few minutes I was rewarded with a melancholy “Who-who-WHO.” Living in suburbia, one does not encounter much wildlife, and there was something redeeming about hearing this owl, knowing that it chose to rest (perhaps live) in a tree in someone’s back yard. Perhaps we have not crowded out all other creatures.

It is these experiences for which I live. It is the simple pleasure of experiencing life, discovering the grand beauty in the small and ordinary, of learning to see magnificence in the details as well as the expanse — learning to pay attention more often to what’s outside my head.

Words to Ponder #18

I resent people who say writers write from experience. Writers don’t write from experience, though many are hesitant to admit that they don’t. I want to be clear about this. If you wrote from experience, you’d get maybe one book, maybe three poems. Writers write from empathy.

–Nikki Giovanni

Words to Ponder #16

Nature is intricately and infinitely connected. The minute I name something and begin to regard it as a separate entity, I break this unbreakable entity. So that which makes it possible for us to seek truths about the universe and about ourselves has within itself the guarantee that we will never be able to find the Truth. Our knowledge must be forever fragmented, because that is the nature of systematic knowledge.

–Katherine Paterson, Gates of Excellence (1981)

Ten Steps to Positive Body Image

This is a reprint for educational purposes.

Ten Steps To Positive Body Image
Compiled by Margo Maine, Ph. D.

One list can not automatically tell you how to turn negative body thoughts into positive body image, but it can help you think about new ways of looking more healthfully and happily at yourself and your body. The more you do that, the more likely you are to feel good about who you are and the body you naturally have.

  1. Appreciate all that your body can do. Every day your body carries you closer to your dreams. Celebrate all of the amazing things your body does for you — running, dancing, breathing, laughing, dreaming, etc.
  2. Keep a top-10 list of things you like about yourself — things that aren’t related to how much you weigh or what you look like. Read your list often. Add to it as you become aware of more things to like about you.
  3. Remind yourself that “true beauty” is not simply skin-deep. When you feel good about yourself and who you are, you carry yourself with a sense of confidence, self-acceptance, and openness that makes you beautiful regardless of whether you physically look like a supermodel. Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.
  4. Look at yourself as a whole person. When you see yourself in a mirror or in your mind, choose not to focus on specific body parts. See yourself as you want others to see you — as a whole person.
  5. Surround yourself with positive people. It is easier to feel good about yourself and your body when you are around others who are supportive and who recognize the importance of liking yourself just as you naturally are.
  6. Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “right” or that you are a “bad” person. You can overpower those negative thoughts with positive ones. The next time you start to tear yourself down, build yourself back up with a few quick affirmations that work for you.
  7. Wear clothes that are comfortable and that make you feel good about your body. Work with your body, not against it.
  8. Become a critical viewer of social and media messages. Pay attention to images, slogans, or attitudes that make you feel bad about yourself or your body. Protest these messages: write a letter to the advertiser or talk back to the image or message.
  9. Do something nice for yourself — something that lets your body know you appreciate it. Take a bubble bath, make time for a nap, find a peaceful place outside to relax.
  10. Use the time and energy that you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others. Sometimes reaching out to other people can help you feel better about yourself and can make a positive change in our world.

From the National Eating Disorders Association

Words to Ponder #14

If a mind is just a few pounds of blood, urea, and electricity, how does it manage to contemplate itself, worry about its soul, do time-and-motion studies, admire the shy hooves of a goat, know that it will die, enjoy all the grand and lesser mayhems of the heart?

–Diane Ackerman

Words to Ponder #12

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

–Mary Oliver, When Death Comes