I’ve been reading about Jennifer Wilbanks, the bride-to-be who ditched her betrothed and made up a story about being kidnapped. I was agog — actually scandalized — when I read that the affair involved fourteen attendants and 500-600 guests. I did not grow up dreaming about “my wedding day.” I think it’s important to honor and celebrate commitment, but a bride need not spend her parents’ retirement to have a wedding. Nor does a couple need to spend what might be their down-payment on a house, or part of their future childrens’ college fund, to mark the occasion. The amount of money some people spend on weddings is unconscionable. Here is a well-articulated perspective from Bonnie Erbe of the Chicago Sun-Times:

Couples who truly love each other are comfortable presenting their commitment to the world through a three-day saga that doesn’t force their families into Chapter 7. When confronted with buffets including abundant portions of pate de fois gras and waterfall bouquets of Epipactis Gigantea, I do not walk around drooling like other guests.

I don my skeptic’s hat and ask first, why the gaudy display? Then I tell myself I would have been much more impressed by a small, meaningful gathering and the announcement of a large donation to a worthy charity by the couple (or by the couple’s family). The latter, to me, would denote confidence by the couple, supported by a healthy side helping of class, style and surety of purpose.

–Bonnie Erbe, Runaway bride’s plight sheds light on lavish weddings

My sentiments exactly!