Husband brought home a camera so I can use Skype to keep in touch with my friend when she’s in Guatemala. My laptop has an application called Photo Booth that let me play a little with the camera.

Here I am on a Friday night, ready to call it a day.

This year, my efforts with AEDM will probably be simple, the result of quickie creativity cobbled together from stolen moments. Today’s work started as a random doodle. I had 45 minutes of free time and this is what I saw in it.

I’ll also submit this for Illustration Friday this week; the theme is “vacant.” I’d say this little man has checked out.

These days I make notes on paper of cute things Bean does, and whenever I get to sit at the computer to write, it’s at the opposite end of the house. So the list keeps growing.

To relax these days, I’m not reading, or knitting, or doing anything creative. I have been sucked into episodes of House, just at I was smitten with the series Scrubs in 2007. After the first episode of House, I thought it was simplistic, formulaic, and that the character was absolutely unsympathetic and uncompelling. But I watched a second episode, and then another, and then I was hooked. My brain is too fried to analyze why, except that Hugh Laurie has managed to bring something redeeming to the misanthropic character.

There are changes afoot at Husband’s job, and they are not good changes. I’m not sure how this will play out in the long run. Let’s just say that we’ve had a good run for several years and in the tech industry, there is no such thing as retiring from a company after working 20-30 years there. Things might end up staying pretty much the same — it’s just that we don’t know, and I don’t like not knowing.

I need sleep. I’ve been staying up too late the past three nights, and it shows by the end of the day.

But it’s late, I need a shower, and I have more to say than I have time or energy. I want to write and I’m making notes for a big brain dump. For now, let the fact that every day is full and (mostly) fun and this photo suffice.

My parents’ visit ends tomorrow. They leave on the 10:30 p.m. red-eye. Yesterday and today I found myself verging on tears. It has been an intense and happy visit. There have been many “firsts” in the past week that I’m thrilled my parents were part of experiencing.

I need to keep myself together, to focus on the moment, so I can enjoy them. There will be time for tears later.

It was great fun, and we’ll miss you.

At least, this seems the case with certain people who have the misfortune of being adult and being prominent in my daily life. (Now, who might that be? Poor guy.) *sigh* I really need to find a way to release tension more constructively so that it doesn’t turn rank and poisonous in me and then come hissing out. I also probably need to cut the caffeine.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
–Ambrose Bierce

Have ten months passed already? Bean arrived on this day in September, and what a ride it has been!

Bean now pulls up, cruises, and climbs stairs. I’ve less time than ever before to sit and answer email or write much during the day, because I now need to keep her curious little hands off stuff that formerly was out of reach. Not that we haven’t child-proofed, but books, Kleenex boxes, and other benign items I don’t want destroyed remain.

She has six teeth now — four upper and two lower. I think another lower couple are coming in from the looks of her gums. I have found, though, that the term “coming in” signifies a s-l-o-w process that can takes days or weeks.

Bean claps her hands. When I read How A Baby Grows, there is a page that says: These are the things a baby hears: songs, whisper, claps, cheers. Bean claps her hands during that sentence. She also claps her hands for If You’re Happy and You Know It and Patty-cake.

Bean recognizes butterflies, ladybugs, eyes and noses. Sometimes she will point to them when asked. She hugs her baby doll and teddy bear. She has some distinct sounds that I know mean something exclamatory, i.e., This is interesting! She also lately has been saying “Ca” when looking at or chasing Stella. (Poor Stella, who can’t even find safe haven upstairs anymore.) Of course, “Ca” is her sound for other small animals, such as dogs and other babies.

She does not consistently use the “all done” sign, but she definitely will use it when she is in the mood and when she is either: a) done eating or b) done eating a particular food but wants something else. She self-feeds Cheerios and (once) green peas, but has not mastered picking up bits of banana. She distinctly doesn’t like the texture of the 3rd stage foods that have chunks designed for learning to chew.

Music Together started again today, and I was fascinated to watch Bean respond to the music and the teacher. Now that she’s crawling, she happily wanders away from me to explore, and she doesn’t cry if I move away from her. She recognized the teacher and bounced on her bottom when she saw her.

Bean is entering a phase of greater opinion and strength. Sometimes I find it a challenge to change her diaper now, since she is wiry and capable of turning over. My little baby is less a baby now and becoming quite her own little person.

Here’s a peek at what she might see during the day.

Another photo from my humble back “yard.”

Hi there!

A couple of readers tell me they are having trouble viewing my blog. These folks seem to be using PCs and Internet Explorer. I’m not sure why it’s not showing up correctly anymore, but I’ve made no changes to the format or code.

If you’re experiencing problems, let me know. I don’t know that there’s anything I can do, since it shows up fine in my browser and I’ve made no changes. But maybe we can see if it affects Apple users as well as PC, etc.

I originally knit a baby hat and an adult hat. Decided to see if they’d felt and firm up well, even though it wasn’t bulky yarn. It was good ol’ Cascade 220 on size 8 needles. I used starch to help firm them up a bit. They are now felted bowls! These will be donated to a non-profit event as a prize for a raffle.

[cross-posted Knit Together]

It occurs to me that I don’t always exhibit kindness. In fact, I can be a defensive, judgmental, argumentative, entitled, and angry person. I had an encounter just now that showed me this. It’s not how I want to be. Let me put it this way: I’m not very graceful when things go wrong and it’s my fault. I become defensive and argumentative. When I was a therapist, I was able to help others; I had perspective. But when it comes to my own self, I’m still reactive sometimes. This reactivity comes from a very primitive place.

When will I learn to be different?

In case you’re feeling down at the moment, here’s a taste of something you might enjoy reading. It really, truly isn’t a downer to read at all. After years of devotion to her writing (while working all along at a “day job”), Patry’s first novel, The Liar’s Diary, was published in 2007. Then last fall, she was diagnosed with cancer.

Well, it’s a good thing I didn’t worry before my surgery. It’s a good thing that I reveled in every moment of being at home, rather than spoiling it by mentally leaping into “what might happen.” Because as it turns out what might happen arrived all on its own.

My recovery was on track until Sunday when I became seriously ill. Doctors were summoned (one even racing down the hallway), tests were taken, conferences were had. The consensus was even more desperate than the way I felt. My surgery had failed, and would need to be repeated (today at 1:30.)

–Patry Francis, Simply Wait

Patry’s ability to find ordinary life marvelous, and to write about it, is very compelling. Do go read.

I’ve got nothing to say, really. Ordinary life happens daily. I figure sometimes it’s pointless to write about it. Here’s one of the things I did today; after many months of thinking about it, I finally got around to doing it. (Good mothers cleanse the spittle off their kids’ toys more often than that.) I’m aiming for the Adequate Mother award.

Monday night we went out to dinner at a family restaurant — Bean’s first restaurant. She was happy to be there as long as she was out of her infant carrier/car seat. I’d judiciously given her a late afternoon nap so she could make it to 8:00, which was a little bit of a stretch, but she did. We were in and out in slightly over an hour (an excellent waitress too, who knew how to serve a family with a baby). She sat in Husband’s lap and tried grabbing everything in sight. She happily played with (i.e., chewed on) the spoons and again sampled water from a glass. She also enjoyed being spoon-fed sips of water. We think Bean is definitely ready to try solids! Last night she sat in her high chair while we ate dinner and enjoyed the socializing. I bought her small 7-ounce plastic tumblers, and it seems she prefers to try drinking out of these rather than her sippy cup. It’s really charming to watch her attempts.

Aunt LP’s visit was fun and all too short! We all enjoyed visiting and playing. She came along on several play dates and cooked some grub for us: awesome pasta sauce and The Best Quiche Ever (with bacon!).

We also installed the first of many gates, these on the first level. She’s not crawling yet, but she’s gotten good at rolling around. Thursday she has her 6-month doctor visit. She’s also mostly been sleeping through from a slightly later bedtime (8:00 p.m.) to 5:30-6:00 a.m. (A couple of days she slept until 7 and 8 a.m.!) Yesterday she ate the most she’s ever eaten: 34 ounces. Seems as though every day is another milestone.

I had to go to the bathroom. I just could not ignore the body’s imperative. I lay her down in the crib, expecting her to wake and cry — if not immediately, within the first 5-10 minutes.

More than 20 minutes later, she remains asleep. I should be overjoyed that she’s napping in her crib, that I have the freedom to move about and do chores without having to interact with or carry her. So why am I a little sad?

When she first woke this morning, I came into her room to find her on her tummy, head up, leaning on her elbows, and cheerful. Since her first effort at rolling from back to tummy several days ago, she hadn’t done it since. And there she was! I was so happy for her, and I exclaimed how proud I was. My little girl is growing. Every day is different.

At least, it seems so.

Bean has a new toy! (One of the items we were given by another parent relieved to create space in her home.) She can’t use it very long before she gets tired and frustrated, but it sure fascinates her.