You may notice in my sidebar that my “currently reading” list includes five books on pregnancy and motherhood. I’m of an age where I’m considered “past my prime” for it. On the other hand, it’s not out of the question. I’ve set out to make an informed choice. A friend gave me several of her books, and I purchased one on pregnancy for women over 35.
One decision I need to make is if this is truly an endeavor I want to give my life to. Assuming I succeed and bear a healthy child, do I, at this point in my life and career, want to incorporate the vocation of parenthood? One thing I know for certain: I have the capacity to be a marvelous mother, far more so that I would have been in my twenties and thirties. I know who I am, and I like myself. I do believe self-knowledge dovetails with good parenting.
The problem is that there are very real risks with midlife pregnancy. In addition, the possibility increases that my fertility has waned. Do I want a child so much that I will undergo all possible treatments and get into debt? No, I don’t want to go that far. I also need to consider the impact that being an older parent will have on my child. So many questions.
My partner and I have considered adoption, and we haven’t ruled it out. Yet he is keen to try having a biological child first. So we begin by learning in order to make a responsible choice.
I surfed and located several sites offering support for older mothers; there are fewer sites for this population than I’d hoped.
She Knows Network: Midlife Moms
Hip Mama (not just for older moms)
And the books I’m reading:
Pregnancy and Childbirth: The Complete Guide for a New Life
Planning Your Pregnancy and Birth, Third Edition
Mother Shock: Loving Every (Other) Minute of It
Anne Lamott’s book, Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year, also came highly recommended.