The American attitude toward sexuality has a paradoxical nature. Media blasts us in all forms that sex is the nectar of life, and while perhaps it is, it neglects to teach us what it means to be a sexual person. Millions of people, especially children, acquire vast and damaging misconceptions about sex. Conversely, parents seek to diminish media influence by discouraging sexuality, often by ignoring the topic altogether; these parents fear that candid discussion about sex will convey approval for pre-marital sex. So, they withhold information or deliver it with accompanying feelings of shame. Along with lessons on sex, attitudes toward one’s body are conveyed. Men must be muscular and tough; women must be svelte and gorgeous. Beyond the issue of surface beauty lies the attitude one holds toward one’s gender.

Women and men are socialized to relate to their bodies and genders in vastly different ways. A boy grows up experiencing his penis as a utility and a source of pleasure through visual and tactile connection, while a girl learns to consider her body a mystery. We do not touch “down there.” We do not even see it. Social attitudes permeate our consciousness. Television reinforces the notion that being a woman is a smelly, painful, messy ordeal. Consider, for instance, the advertisements for FDS spray, douches, PMS medication, and tampons. “Clean it up and hide it!” is the imperative. And, whether one wants it or not, a woman must accept that she will menstruate. It is a physical occurrence over which she has no control. Thus, a woman may feel frustrated over her state of womanhood. On the one hand, media relentlessly suggests that she use products to eliminate the “nasty” odors emanating from this business of being female. And it is a business over which she has little control. This combination of inevitability and negative messages provides no avenue for expressing positive attitudes toward menstruation.

In modern agnostic American culture, no formal rituals exist for the celebration and acknowledgment of menstruation. Schools may teach the biology of reproduction, thereby releasing facts. Attitudes, however, are conveyed through parents, peers, and society at large, as expressed through the media. Granted, no ceremonies exist for the passage into manhood, either. But the focus of this essay remains on some of the social, spiritual, and physical aspects of menstruation.

A debate currently exists over whether premenstrual syndrome is a legitimate disorder or an excuse for special treatment. There are disadvantages to either stance. The symptoms of PMS are numerous, and some can simply be evidence of an unhealthy lifestyle. Crankiness, headaches, bloating, and mood swings can be caused by other factors. However, hormonal shifts do have impact. It took decades for male gynecologists to become convinced that physical problems related to menstruation were not simply manifestations of psychological discomfort. And even if they were, that should not invalidate a woman’s concerns. Finally, after long years, PMS as a physical condition was recognized by the medical community. A woman’s needs could be met.

There is, however, a backlash with PMS. In seeking to acknowledge a woman’s psychological and physical discomfort in menstruation, women are in danger of being dismissed for that very condition. Previously the idea was staunchly held that women, because of their “femininity,” could not be leaders or handle certain jobs. The feminist movement sought to eradicate the stereotype. And now, since the 1980s, we have a diagnosis, confirmed by the medical community, that PMS does indeed influence women. Several defenses in court cases (British) have been constructed on the notion that a premenstrual woman cannot be held liable for her actions. Women may experience new restrictions of opportunity in traditionally male territories because of this new evidence.

Thus, society would try to generalize the condition that some women experience to all women. It seems, as well, that women are stigmatized in a Catch-22 position. Historically, they were told that such problems were “all in their heads” and thus dismissed. Today they are told such problems do exist, and they may be scrutinized and judged unfit because of this. In seeking her place as an equal in a male-driven economy, women have been forced to deny that biology matters, when in fact it does matter. In seeking help for what ails her, must she then accept a role as a flawed human? Perhaps it is not that she is flawed but that the societal attitudes are. Rather than change to suit the environment, to prove she can play like the guys, perhaps the environment should change to accommodate her.

PMS has also provided grist for the humor mill. Menstruation has always been the subject of rude humor. Because this topic is so connected with sex, it is titillating and taboo. Humor hides the embarrassment. There are plenty of “on the rag” jokes. The association with PMS and “bitchiness” makes it easy to reduce a woman to one dimension. If a woman behaves aggressively or angrily, the conclusion is that she is either an outright bitch, is suffering from PMS, or in a double-whammy, is both. Even women buy into this “humor,” unaware of how it undermines them as people to be taken seriously It seems clear that menstruation has varied meanings across cultures. In patriarchal cultures, menstruation carries negativity, and in matriarchies it is positive.

Formal rituals and celebrations of menarche do not occur in American culture. Since, however, America consists of many ethnic groups, it might be better to suggest that some subcultures may practice a ritual. Even in cultures where menstruation is seen as negative (requiring women to isolate themselves from others for fear of contaminating them), rituals exist to initiate a girl into womanhood.

In the Arapesh society in New Guinea, a girl’s first menstruation is observed by her family. Attended by older female relatives, her body is rubbed by stinging nettles and a rolled nettle leaf is thrust into her vulva to ensure breast growth. No food or water is consumed for three days. After this, decorative cuts are made on her shoulders and buttocks by her mother’s brother, which is considered a beautiful way to decorate the body (Weidegger, 1976, and Red Spot, 1998). Celebrations conducted by the Brahmin community in the South of India and Ceylon involve a ritual called Samati Sadang. The girl sits on banana leaves and is given a raw egg ginger oil drink and then bathed in milk. This is followed by a family feast (Red Spot, 1998). A Nayar girl of India may be secluded and then visited by neighbor women and dressed in new clothes, typically a sari. She will later take a ceremonial bath with her friends and attend a feast (Red Spot, 1998).

Celebrations tend to narrowly define and emphasize a woman’s role as a reproductive vessel. Other interpretations of menarche, such as the Navajo ritual Kinaald‡, provide another aspect of honoring womanhood. It is considered one of their most important religious rites. In an elaborate ritual of five days and nights, the girl “becomes” Changing Woman, the most important Navajo deity. The underlying belief is that each time a woman is initiated, the world is saved from chaos through the renewal of women’s creativity (Weidegger, 1976 and Red Spot, 1998).

Even in Western society, where no rite of passage exists, the taboo remains. This taboo conveys negativity and fear. If a young woman is told nothing–and often this is the case–she is left with the fright of seeing red underwear and the assumption that something is very wrong with her. All too often, the connotation with menstruation is that of a nuisance at best, and a curse, at worst. It is treated as repulsive. In many societies, menses is regarded as either evil, defiling, offensive, or a nuisance.

In Judaism, observant Jews follow the family purity laws. Traditionally, these customs are seen as protections against contamination (Taylor, 1988). “And everything that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: everything also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean… And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean” (Leviticus 15:19-33). The connotation is obviously negative. And, while such attitudes are not unique to Judaism alone, such ideas remain in Orthodox Judaism today, and behavior is structured around it (Delaney, Lupton, & Toth, 1988). During menstruation, a woman and her husband sleep separately and do not have sexual intercourse. For seven days following the end of menstruation, a woman remains separate from her husband. She daily checks her vagina with white cloth wrapped over a finger until the cloth shows no trace of blood. She then prepares to immerse herself in the mikvah, a ritual bath with a natural source of water, to symbolically cleanse herself.

The rules stated in Leviticus 15:19-33 specifically emphasize the state of a woman’s uncleanness and the consequences of touching anything that a menstruating woman has touched. This emphasis on restricting the woman kept her out of the daily business of life. If she were taboo during her period, she could not be in a common place lest she defile others. This kept her out of places of economic, religious, and political power (Delaney, Lupton, & Toth, 1988). Gradually, however, this status shifted to only a restriction of sexual expression. An interesting interpretation of the ritual separation is offered in To Be a Jewish Woman. While sexual intimacy and satisfaction are important, separation is instructive. During menstruation, a wife does not conduct her usual domestic tasks. This reminds her husband of her many kindnesses so as not to take her for granted. The separation also enforces the notion or mortality, reminding them that they are connected eternally only to God. The separation may also be a time of reflection and mourning, especially if they are attempting to conceive. The onset of menses indicates a “small death,” an opportunity lost.

Additionally, Aiken emphasizes separation as a time for sexual desire to be expressed sublimely. This is a time for the couple to work on communication and on the relationship. This effort, combined with increasing sexual tension, creates a “honeymoon” atmosphere within the relationship. Aiken emphasizes the mikvah as a place of spiritual renewal and the celebration of life, rather than a cleansing of contamination (Aiken, 1992). Interestingly, Aiken’s book does not focus on the negative litany of Leviticus. Additionally, rituals for unmarried women are non-existent. The assumption remains that a married woman should be concerned with such matters; a single woman is not important in the eyes of Jewish law.

Seclusion or segregation can, therefore, be seen as a negative or positive experience. Sometimes isolation within a society is perceived as a positive observation of the woman’s power and the need to be alone with the forces that move her. Other times, involuntary seclusion becomes a positive experience for women. For Ruby Modesto, a Cahuilla medicine woman, menstrual seclusion provides a time for her to be alone three or four days, to get in touch with her special power, and to learn from her dreams and visions. A Yurok Indian woman keeps her grandmother’s ways by isolating herself at the “height of her powers.” Mundane tasks and concerns about the opposite sex are relegated to the lowest status. Energy is spent, instead, on meditating on the purpose of one’s life and connecting one’s body with the cycles of the moon and earth (Taylor, 1988 and Red Spot, 1998). The menstrual hut is the equivalent to the men’s sweatlodge ceremony, where men gather to peer into themselves and become stronger. In the old days when all the village women who were fertile had their periods at the same time, they would all go to the menstrual shelter together (Red Spot, 1998).

Clearly, menstruation is a phenomenon that is often reviled and feared, and woman have sometimes died at the hands of men for this. Women burned at the stake as witches in Europe for behaving in ways that were not in alignment with the way a woman “should” behave. These women, in some cases, may have been responding to the hormonal shifts of their menstrual cycles; in other cases, they may have been midwives and folk healers whom the Catholic Church saw as a threat to doctrine (Delaney, Lupton , & Toth, 1988). Conversely, the power of menstruation, the ability to bleed cyclically and not die, and also be a source of honor and strength, and a cause for celebration. Aboriginal Australian men exercise ritual power through ceremonies in which they cut themselves to imitate women’s menstruation; in some tribes, men actually cut their penises to mimic a bleeding vulva (Red Spot, 1998). It is said that women once performed these ceremonies and that the power really belongs to the women, but that men have learned how to trick women and steal the power (Red Spot, 1998).

How well a young woman is prepared for this life-changing development will largely determine her attitudes toward herself. As recently as the 1960s, medical guidebooks suggested that women should not exercise or take baths during their periods (Red Spot, 1998). It is difficult to feel good about menarche when negativity and fear generate such misunderstanding. In industrial and patriarchal cultures, there is little positive attention given to this event, or to the needs of women. There are no provisions to accommodate this. In Japan, menstrual leave is available to working women, but as few as thirteen percent of women take it (Taylor, 1988). Some feminists claim that it leads to discrimination. In a typical Catch-22, women must choose to play by the business rules set by men and deny this aspect of themselves, or else accept that they may hit a glass ceiling if they take advantage of the accommodations afforded them. (Women who work and have children often experience this in the form of the “mommy track,” in that they are given positions of less responsibility and authority because they refuse to devote 12-14 hour days to the career.)

The challenge of accommodating and acknowledging menstruation lies in not using it as a means of restricting women to bearing children, staying at home, or working in menial jobs. For this, societal attitudes must change. In August 1994, The Museum of Menstruation was established in Washington, D.C., by Mr. Harry Finley. The purpose of the museum is to open consideration of a taboo subject and to educate people on the rituals and culture of menstruation (Internet Health Resources, 1995). However, it is vital that women not be complacent. With the advent of the Internet, new opportunities to break silence emerged; yet this new medium is under great scrutiny with regarding to issues of “decency.” The government has tried to restrict speech on the Internet, and AOL even declared the word “breast” indecent (Web by Women for Women, 1998). It has been suggested that a backlash is occurring with regard to women’s health. The topics which parties actively try to control or censor involve contraception, abortion, sexuality, self-image, and even pregnancy (Web by Women for Women, 1998). Hard-fought gains achieved by the women’s movement of the 1970s stand in danger of being eroded. Removing the taboo of silence with regard to women’s bodies and health is crucial to holding ground.

Western culture can learn to make time and space for this aspect of womanhood without punishing her. Businesses will not collapse if women take a day off each month to nurture themselves. That women are affected does not mean they are incapable. For those women who choose to nurture children, this significant and demanding task should not be dismissed. It is said that the health of a People is revealed in its women–how they are treated, the roles they are given, and the esteem those roles have. Emergence into womanhood presents one opportunity to shape a young woman positively–to help her cherish herself for being female. This is a challenge to accomplish in a culture which treats a fundamental aspect of womanhood as a problem and a mystery, but it can be done. For changes to occur, beliefs and behavior must change from within; eventually, the goal is to effect a cultural shift. It is not only a worthy endeavor. It is necessary.

References:

Aiken, L. (1992). To be a Jewish woman. Northvale, N.J.: Jason Aronson.

Delaney, J., Lupton, M.J., & Toth, E. (1988). The curse: a cultural history of menstruation. Chicago: University of Illinois Press.

Internet Health Resources, The Medical Reporter (1995). Unusual idea for a museum…period! [On-line]. Available: http://www.ihr.com/medreprt/articles/menstrum.html

Taylor, D. (1988). Red flower: rethinking menstruation. Freedom, C.A.: The Crossing Press.

The Red Spot (June 14, 1998). [On-line]. Available: http://onewoman.com/redspot/

Web by Women for Women (1998). Fighting censorship that affects women [On-line]. Available: http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/present/index.html

Weidegger, P. (1976). Menstruation and menopause: The physiology and psychology, the myth and the reality. New York: Alfred A. Knopf.