Sometimes I want to write, but I don’t know about what. Hazy ideas drift in my mind that I want to catch in my hands to examine. Then I begin to think about my readers, about what might be over-revealing and therefore not professional, and I freeze. My fingers hover above the keys, the energy of expression jammed against their tips. There is a gossamer line that divides the personal from the professional in my work. Self-disclosing to clients can be therapeutic, up to a point. One must always be aware of whom the disclosure serves; if it is oneself, the therapist, then it’s best not to. However, Yalom suggests that decades of emphasis on “being a blank slate” to clients has not been helpful. When clients see us as human, they stop idealizing us as perfect, connecting with us realistically and feeling less alone. Yet sometimes a client resists this, does not want to know her therapist has troubles and foibles of her own.

The other issue is that this blog serves the internet community primarily. Most of my clients do not come to me by way of reading this blog. My practice is small and I focus on providing service there. The blog, while professionally focused, also serves a personal need to express, to give voice to my existence. While I have a personal blog which I use as a journal, a place to put raw material that I later shape for posts on this blog, I also want to avoid being a cipher here. Does that wish conflict with my role in the office? The blog also serves as a filter; what I post here may cause some people to choose someone else, for whatever reason. For a long time I kept the secular and sacred compartmentalized, but as I move along my path in life, I see more clearly that I am heading toward spiritual work. This being part of who I am, the blog reflects it. How can I be authentic if I hide a major aspect of myself?

So that is what I occasionally struggle with. And look at that… I managed to write long enough to create a decent post!