An all-around failure to nap occurred. Too brief a morning nap in the swing, then a catnap on an outing. Claire was tired. I fed her, made sure she was really ready to sleep, then went to her room and rocked her from 12:10 to 12:25. She fell asleep and I put her in the crib. One-half hour later, like clockwork, she woke crying. She cried hard for an hour (with me checking on her, soothing her), until I just decided this nap wasn’t happening.

I picked her up at 2:10; her body was heaving with sobs, and she calmed down. Then we played. Her face and eyes were puffy from sobbing and weariness, but she laughed and smiled. She began to rub her eyes and yawn again around 2:45. I gave her a bottle at 3:00, then tried again in her room. I rocked her, she fell asleep instantly, and I put her in the crib at 3:25. Thirty minutes later, she woke crying. I retrieved her after 15 minutes. I simply could not take any more crying. I soothed her. Rather than play with her, I put her in the swing, which also soothed her, and she fell into a doze. Fortunately her father came home early today (just after 5:00 p.m., unheard of!) and provided distraction and entertainment until bath time. She went to sleep at 7:00 for the night just as easy as pie.

She and I just haven’t got a good routine yet. I’m feeling anxious, guilty, irritable, sad.

Please, no sentences that start with Have you tried…, nor judgments passed on me. My head is full of advice from WeissbluthFerberSears and other random websites, and there’s enough self-judgment in my noggin to take care of the Second Coming and send me to hell already.