In one week I start my new job. In one week, the journey of The Artist’s Way begins in earnest.

I am anxious and restless. Not about my ability to do the job, but about the impact it will have on my life. I have lived “the life of Riley” since June. Hours and hours have been at my beck and call to read books and blogs, to write as often as I want, to take photos and tinker with them, to make art, to run errands on my schedule, to live at my own pace.

This is about to change. One-third of my life each day will be devoted to work. Granted, it is work I want to do. But it will mean less of something else. Beyond giving the job my best, I have decided that my number one priority is to get good sleep each day. I’m historically a poor snoozer; I have trouble falling asleep, and I wake easily. I’m also a night owl, and this job will require a shift. Decades ago I dealt with early work schedules by going to bed at midnight or later and getting only 4-6 hours sleep. It was detrimental then but I forced myself and had the stamina. No more. Not getting enough rest is literally dangerous to me — my driving reflexes are slower, I consume more caffeine, my temperament grows raw. There’s plenty of research on the long-term consequences of insufficient sleep to back this up.

So if two-thirds of my life will be given to work and sleep, that leaves 8 hours daily for the rest of life: commuting to/from work, reading books, writing, reading blogs, knitting, errands, movies, socializing, laundry, cooking, creating, etc. I will no longer be able to do all these things as much as I want.

I’ve written several times before about the amount of time I spend on blogging, and I’ve contemplated reducing my involvement, but so far I haven’t. My schedule hasn’t required a reduction. But now I am forced to choose. And it’s interesting that anxiety arises as a result. What’s that about? Sometimes methinks I’m a bit too attached — maybe addicted — to this. Other people I regularly check on post far less frequently: Kat’s Paws, Dating God, Mindful Moderation, Ectophensis, Santiago Dreaming, Blaugustine, Sacred Ordinary, The Other Side, The Obvious, and Cicada are examples. (I’m feeling lazy at the moment and am not linking them because they are all in the sidebar.) I haven’t abandoned them for writing less often than I. In fact, with Bloglines and other services, I can easily find out when they’ve updated and only visit when there is a new post. It’s just that there are so many blogs I want to read, and this number has only increased with the advent of The Artist’s Way (check Kat’s blog for links of participants). Moreover, and I admit this with a tinge of — shame? chagrin? — the anxiety is related to my fear of being abandoned by my readers and to the wish not to disappoint. That is, if I take time to balance my life and live it, leaving less time to create blog fodder, y’all will get pissed off and leave.

One other reason for the anxiety… I use blogging the way others use television as a time-stealer. From what I’ve gathered from skimming The Artist’s Way, time on the web is a way I keep my energy tied up. Prior to the new job my life could absorb that. Less free time means using what I have judiciously. Oh, and another reason for the anxiety… what if I spend less time online and find I don’t miss it, or that I prefer the reduction? I confess a secret admiration for people who decided blogging was sucking away precious resources and so walked away. Blogging has been wonderful, but it exponentially expanded my world. There is only so much of me to go around. I need to find out what I did with my time before I fell down the blog hole. I mean, the first thing I do after I get into my home is make a beeline for the laptop to check email and blogs. And I check it numerous times after. Hell, the first thing I did upon realizing I couldn’t sleep was to come here. Far too many hours slip into cyberspace. This change in my schedule means I’ll take a reduction in my “hit” (if I want to do anything else I enjoy), or a reduction in reading/creating/socializing, etc. in order to keep the Internet injection constant.

Oh, this post isn’t very organized… it’s more like prattle in the close-to-wee hours. I simply needed to articulate these thoughts. Sometimes it’s akin to herding cats.