I am having one of those restless yet stuck days. The kind in which I realize that having a job, even part-time, would probably be a good thing. I’ve been applying without much success.
I feel a void in my life, in myself. Not enough fresh input is flowing; I’m stale. I need more interaction with other creators. However, I’m not feeling extremely well, so venturing out of the house is taxing. Writing doesn’t appeal these past few days, which means I’ve prepared nothing for tonight’s memoir group meeting. I’m making art, but feel a need for an infusion of ideas. I feel as though I live in slow motion.
This too shall pass. Usually when I’m mired in sluggishness, just writing about it breaks me out.
I’ve felt this way, too. I don’t work, either and my kids are at school for a good chunk of the day. I’ve found that when I get out and do something, such as take a class or volunteer, I am suddenly bursting with ideas and energy and creativity. In fact, that’s usually how I recognize the stuck phase – in retrospect.
Liked the Prevention piece, by the way!
I can sure identiy with this, Kathryn, but I identify with so much of what you write here. I have always loved working–and going to school, also a form of work. When my youngest child was six years old, I returned to work part-time and was soon working full-time. Being a homemaker and volunteer wasn’t enough for me. I did quickly learn, however, that as much as I bitch about working, I need the socialization and the structured time. So, even at 68, I’m still working. For me personally, there is also something about being rewarded with money for my efforts, which is not very enlightened, but I’m so frugal by nature. There’s something about self worth and money.
Don’t overlook independent schools as a source of part-time work. There are so many in your area and you have the skills to do many things contractually. Check out the California Association of Independent Schools: http://www.caisca.org/
for the names of all the affiliated schools. I have loved working for schools so much. Or–this is wild–how about testing the waters for another degree? Just suggestions.
Sweetie, I read your blog every so often & get so much from your uplifting spirit….but tonight you seem so down you prompt me to write.
I am not sure how you are or what you are going through personally but I am worried about you.
Are you okay? Do you need to talk to a friend?
I will tell you what I tell my adult (23) daughter
Who is the friend who supports you the most? Call her tonight reach out.
Then tomorrow start the day with a walk to a park.
See people. It sounds like you are staying in too much. If I am wrong or have crossed a line like the famous comedian Gilda used to say ……..never mind!
Adrianne
Thank you all for your empathy. Fran, thanks for the info on independent schools. I will look into it. As for another degree… I’d love to, but we still owe over $50K (yes, you read right) on my student loan for my master’s degree. So more formal education is just not in the picture. *sigh*
Adrianne and Diana, I appreciate your suggestions and took you up on them. 🙂 More later on that.
I work at home – freelance writing – so I KNOW your feelings intimately. Somehow, after doing it for a long period of time, staying in just seems the easiest course, but it can be deadly to the creative spirit. You NEED to rub against people. I have, thankfully, found some of that rubbing against people from reading blogs. But, the light of day, outside my cave is often what I need to push myself toward. I send you encouragement and empathy. And if I were there, I would do what my friends tend to do to me – I would give you a good swift kick to get out of the house. You’re brilliant, but you need EYE CONTACT.
You are so inspiring. I love that I have stumbled over your blog and check you daily. I was unemployed (a single lady, no kids) and was suprised at how easy it was to hibernate and how deadly it was. I finally made a kinda schedule with myself. One day a week I grabbed all my paper work, sketch book, whatever needed to be done and went to a coffee shop and spent the afternoon there. One day a week I went somewhere inspiring – art gallery, walk in the woods, walking the local labyrinth, even going to a great afternoon movie – alone (amazing what a dark movie theater, great movie, and a bag of warm theatre popcorn can do for the soul)whatever I could find that filled my soul (and didn’t empty my wallet). These two days became inviolate, I never broke that date. I honestly believed that they saved me from going insane while job hunting and not working. That and long hot tub baths with candle light, great music and scrumptious smelling soap! jackie