As I drove to Mountain View to pick up Husband from work, I heard Melinda Shoaf read her essay, The Designated Celebrator, on NPR’s This I Believe. I found myself in tears by the end.
I’m exhausted. Tonight I feel too tired to care where I live. I need a break. So tonight, dinner is a mug of Trader Joe’s roasted red pepper and tomato soup and a viewing of Cars (suggested by Husband). He’s got a hella week at work, and he’s tired too. Tomorrow we go see another house at 4:30 p.m., drop off the application for the Craftsman house after 6:00, and another application for a house in Sunnyvale (or tell him no — we were first, but there are other interested parties). I’m dizzy and hormonal and very very emotional.
The question is: do we take the one in Sunnyvale, or maybe the one we’ll see tomorrow in Santa Clara, or wait on the Craftsman house, which we won’t know until maybe Saturday? (That’s rhetorical.) Houses are coming up all the time, so if we miss these there are more. But. I am ready to be done searching. It is not my personality trait to research and research some more. I know this is an opportunity to work on sitting with the unknown and trusting the universe; I’m just having a damn hard time doing this.
Oh, I’m glad you are the one looking and looking. How much longer do you have? I went to San Jose State and lived in a great old Victorian on 5th street which was a boarding house. There are some great old homes there, though 10 years ago when I last visited the boarding house, the neighborhood had gone totally downhill. I’ve got a good feeling about the craftsman.
We have to be out of the house by February 15. But I’m in a state where I’d like to have this resolved because there are some other pressing issues needing attention. I think we’re forgoing the Craftsman. It is impractical in some ways and 50% farther commute for Husband, farther from our friends and doctors too. And the fact that she’s going to show the house to several other people and wait to decide until the end of the week, rather than take us (we were first and expressed our intent) is causing us to reconsider.