I’ve moved more often in my life than I would like: 20 times since the age of 20 (several moves in one year at different points). The last move — an entire house of stuff from Texas to California — was less painful than I thought it would be, because Husband’s company paid for people to pack our belongings, load an 18-wheeler, deliver and then unload everything. We ditched (gave away mostly) a lot of stuff before we left Texas , since we were moving to a smaller space. Even so, if I’d had to pack it all to go that distance, I wouldn’t have moved.
Now we are faced with this task again, once we find a place. No one is packing our stuff. So I need to answer the question of whether I want to pack and move stuff that I’ve accrued since moving here. For example, there is the small purple beaded box a teacher gave each academic coach when I worked for Extreme Learning in 2005; she got it in Mexico, and it was a token of her gratitude. I don’t remember her name, though. And then there’s the 12-inch long by 15-inch tall leather elephant one of the students gave me. I don’t recall his name either. I’ve got a handpainted Russian goblet made of wood that contained honey and was given to me by a coworker to cheer me up after my father-in-law died. I’ve got lots of little bottles and vases I purchased from Goodwill for pennies apiece that I used to put plant snippets in to root. There are two framed prints — both of which I purchased at Target and while pretty, are not pieces of art — hanging in one bathroom. And the question I have is: do I want them? I am not deeply attached to these items in an emotional sense. There are plenty of other knicknacks and pieces of original artwork lining my walls and bookshelves that I will keep. On the other hand, items that were gifts were given with good intention. And getting rid of things I bought (i.e., small glass vases) that I might someday want to use again is wasteful.
I’m also faced with a similar decision about some of my book collection. I kept most of my texts from graduate school. However, I no longer work in mental health. Do I really want or need to keep the text on psychopathology, conjoint family therapy, or statistics? My collection of art and knitting resource books is increasing, and there is simply no room to keep it all. Still, parting with these books feels definitive to me, as though I’m closing a door. And no, I don’t want to store them in boxes. We have enough stuff in boxes (childhood memorabilia, for example). I also don’t want to hang on to them and try to sell these or mooch through Bookmooch. The point is I have to move soon and I just want to lighten the burden as much as possible.
I have divested myself of many belongings in the past. When I moved to Texas, I selected 20 boxes worth of belongings to ship to my brother (including clothes), and sold off my furniture. I also sold my book collection (which was extensive) for a pittance to a book dealer. I kept only those books I cherished. I know other people in my life have not moved nearly as much, and they have been able to accumulate stuff over decades. They have some difficulty empathizing with my desire to streamline. Life hasn’t afforded me the luxury of rootedness, but I don’t mind so much. It’s good to clean out occasionally. Now if only my stuff would pack itself!
You have my deepest sympathies, Kathryn. I spent the last two weeks cleaning out every room in the house, plus the attic, in preparation for some upcoming renovations. My house is clean and free of clutter, but oh, my aching back! I wish you the best of luck in finding a wonderful new place and an easy, carefree pack-and-move!
Recently we had to move my Mom permanently to a nursing home. The task of disposing of her “stuff”, accumulated over 60 years was daunting. The big stuff is fairly easy. Divvy up the furniture to the kids and granndkids that want it and hope for few fights over a particular piece. But the mountains of stuff like you described – what to do. Over the years she had tried every craft known. When she learned to macrame, she did not make one hanging table or plant holder – she made dozens. When she decoupaged, she plastered over everything that didn’t move. It’s not junk – she did beautiful work, much of which became the familiar decor of her home, and ours…
Maybe it is better to move occasionally and get rid of it all. Except the books, of course – can’t get rid of the books. And that collection of painted and nested Russian eggs – too many memories. Oh, and the grass rope wall hanging I brought back from my trip to Indonesia… And…
I don’t envy your move. I cannot even guess how many moves I’ve made in life.
I wish I had the nerve and will to pare my belongings down to a zen-like few, but, then, I’m not the only one in this house.
Remember, you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time.
Any luck finding a new abode?
ugh. moving stinks. i moved a lot in my 20’s and each time i let go of a lot of stuff, in many cases it was good to release these things (good for clearing out junk and good for my back not to lug it all to a new place) and sometimes i miss the things i threw out. the fiansor and i are in for a difficult moving process when we move in the next year or so as we’ve acquired quite a bit of junk over the years, but i hope it will be the last move for a very long time. of course, these things aren’t always in our control.
i think since the opportunity has arisen, use it to rid yourself of things you don’t really want/need anymore. I released a lot of college time books and havent thought about them once.
best of luck to you. i hope you find a warm, welcoming home!
I’ve moved tons of times.
But this last move — the one into Lisa’s house, I threw almost everything away. I wasn’t used to that — we’ve always just collected everything and then carted it with us. My folks are going through the stuff in their garage and they’re finding things that were packed in 1991 (when they came back from Germany the last time), 1984 (when they went to Germany the last time), and 1979 (when we came back from Germany the time before that).
That’s something else, isn’t it? I don’t know how that’s supposed to help you with your decision, but if you can make anything out of it, there you are.
My advice — do it over an entire month. You’ve probably figured that out with as many moves as you’ve done.