This metaphor came my way when I was in graduate school. I don’t know whom to credit (if you know, please tell me). I’m posting it here as a way of managing my frustration. A good friend is repeating a self-destructive cycle of behavior, and yet she has the insight to stop and change. I’m worried she won’t. And I’ll need to make a decision. It’s difficult to watch someone abdicate responsibility and unhealthy, to some degree, to remain in relationship with that person. I wish she would learn the lessons below.

Chapter 1: I was walking down the street – there was a big hole in the sidewalk – I fell in. It wasn’t my fault, and it took me a long time to get out of it.

Chapter 2: I was walking down the street – there was a big hole in the sidewalk – I tried to avoid it but I fell in. It wasn’t my fault. It took me a long time to get out of it.

Chapter 3: I was walking down the street – I saw the big hole in the sidewalk, but I fell in it anyway. It was my fault, but I knew how to get out of it quickly by now.

Chapter 4: I was walking down the street. I saw the big hole in the sidewalk. I carefully walked around it.

Chapter 5: I chose a different street.