Masculinity Defined?

My friend Steve sent this article. What a hoot, and so true. I clipped a couple of bits that made me chuckle most, but the whole column is a fun read.

When you walk into Costco you immediately wish you had a family with eight or nine kids. I see all the bargains and, even though I’m a guy, start ovulating. I want more people at home to justify the purchase of all these enormous, cheap, bulk products.

…Unfortunately, I don’t know much about home improvement, and whenever I go to Home Depot I end up buying something small and pathetic, like a half-inch rubber washer. Walking out of that place with my little paper sack, I feel like I’m a quart low on testosterone. But let me loose at Costco, and it’s a different story. I love the moment in the parking lot when some Hot Mama sees my cart and says, “Wow, that’s a really big pork loin,” and I cock my head and look to the horizon and say, “Yeah, it’s huge.”

–Joel Achenbach, Adventures at Chez Costco

5 thoughts on “Masculinity Defined?”

  1. Katt

    LOL funny šŸ˜€ yeah I have just one daughter and those huge bulks of stuff is just way too much for us. But what made me stop going cold turkey is when they didn’t let me in to go pee (i almost pee my pants once) I didn’t have my membership with me (we let it expire) and they refused to let me in to use the bathroom!!! assholes!

  2. Dave H

    Many years ago it was my pleasure to gift the archeology department at Ball State University with a laptop computer – an old Amstrad IIRC. Anyway, to show their appreciation they invited me on several local digs (fascinating stuff, BTW) and gave me a tour of their “private” collection.

    One item which immediately caught my interest was a stone axhead. It was big, really big. Probably weighed in excess of 20 pounds, and would’ve taken a small tree to make a handle. So I asked the curator what possible use our neolithic ancestors could’ve had for such an item. His reply has stuck with me to this day:

    “This ax would be practically useless, and we’ve no evidence of ritual use at this early stage. We theorize that this represents a kind of primitive ‘monster truck syndrome’, and that the man who carried it was thus proving his manhood by having the biggest ax in the cave …”

    Be well,

    Dave H.

  3. Fran

    Having just shopped at Costco today (I go every week as I’m feeding a male 17 year old), I had to smile. I’ll never go in there again without looking into the souls of all those men. Now I’m a woman, but I admit I am all aquiver in Home Depot. I love that place!

  4. Katt

    I found the comments in here interesting. Big trucks! man! the ones with the huge tires, I’ve seen them higher than a bus! they are BIG monsters…they scare me they do

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