I have seven boys and three girls in my group. Six of the students are fifth graders, and four are in fourth grade. Some of the boys are a year or two older than their grade level and thus bigger than many of their peers. I wanted to speak to the group in a positive way.

When program started, I had all ten stand on one side of the room. I said, “Everyone who likes play and have fun, move to the other side of the room. If you don’t like to have fun, stay where you are.” Of course, all ten moved.

One child said, “This is a game!” I replied, “Yes, sort of.” Then I continued, “If you like to be scared, if you enjoy being frightened, move to the other side of the room.” Six boys moved, and one boy moved halfway across the room. The girls stayed put.

Then I asked the boys what they enjoyed that was scary. They said scary movies and stories were fun. I asked, “If someone much bigger than you were to come after you, and chase you, would you enjoy that?” A couple of boys said no, a couple said, with bravado, yes.

My last question was, “Do you like it when someone touches you when you don’t want to be touched? Do you like being poked, hit, prodded? If you don’t like this, move back to the other side of the room.” They all moved back. I continued, “So just to be sure, by standing there all of you are saying you wouldn’t like it if someone grabbed your butt, or touched personal parts of your body, or punched you, even if they are playing?” They nodded.

I went on to speak to all of them, about how they are getting bigger and stronger. The fourth graders, next year, will be the big kids on campus! And the fifth graders are going to start middle school! I said people sometimes forget their strength when playing with others. Even if some of the boys like to rough-house, I cautioned that not all people enjoy playing that way. I reminded them that they are growing up, and that part of this is learning to behave with care and to consider other people. I said that their bodies belong to them and if they don’t want someone to touch them, they can assert this. And that they need to remember that other peoples’ bodies do not belong to them, and to respect this.

All the kids nodded that they understood, and I segued into the day’s program. And the two boys I specifically hoped would get the message? I glanced at them as I talked to the group (I looked at everyone), and I could see in their eyes they understood. That was sufficient. And they all went on to have an excellent day in program, which is amazing, considering there are only nine days left of school.