The Months Blaze

Posted Tuesday, September 26th, 2017 @ 7:54 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature, Recreation

So many summer trips, summer camps, heatwaves, gardening; then school began, and here we are. I took the summer off painting. I recently returned to a few begun last spring and finished them. And I’ve made a couple new ones, as I experiment.

sentries / 12" x 36" acrylic on stretched canvas

Sentries / 12″ x 36″ acrylic on stretched canvas

hazy city / 10" x 20" acrylic on stretched canvas

Hazy City / 10″ x 20″ acrylic on stretched canvas

Windfall / 4" x 4" acrylic on canvas panel

Windfall / 4″ x 4″ acrylic on canvas panel

Rock Face / 4" x 4" acrylic on canvas panel

Rock Face / 8″ x 8″ acrylic on stretched canvas

The Leaf Beneath / 5" x 7" acrylic on canvas panel

The Leaf Beneath / 4″ x 6″ acrylic on canvas panel

The Wind Confides Secrets / 5" x 7" acrylic on canvas panel

The Wind Confides Secrets / 4″ x 6″ acrylic on canvas panel

secret garden / 6" x 6" acrylic on wood panel

Secret Garden / 6″ x 6″ acrylic on wood panel


Posted Friday, June 16th, 2017 @ 9:40 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Buddhism, Journal, Nature, Science, Spirit

Last night, I stretched before bed, a routine which helps bring sleep when I make the effort. At the end I lay on my back in what is called “corpse pose” in yoga.

As I lay quietly, I imagined my heart stopping suddenly. My breath ceasing. My brain shutting down, and with that, all awareness evaporating. The “me” that existed just gone. No more Kathryn. No afterlife awareness as Kathryn.

What arose for me: we are expressions of the Life force. The creations Life makes are temporary. They change, disintegrate, and the constituent parts are reabsorbed. The matter and energy become the source again. There is no soul identified as Kathryn. There is no awareness of others. In this way we are eternal and infinite, because our parts merge again with Life. But the death of the body is the death of the personality.

And for whatever reason, for the first time, that felt all right. True. Not scary. Not sad.

Work Backlog

Posted Wednesday, April 12th, 2017 @ 12:01 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature

I’ve been busy creating but not posting. Here goes.

under the ocean / 4" x 4" canvas panel with acrylic

“Under the Ocean” / 4″ x 4″ canvas panel with acrylic

santa cruz harbor lighthouse / 5" x 7" canvas panel with acrylic

“Santa Cruz Harbor Lighthouse” / 5″ x 7″ canvas panel with acrylic

beehive / 6" x 6" wood panel with acrylic

“Beehive” / 6″ x 6″ wood panel with acrylic –SOLD

botanical treasures / 10" x 20" stretched canvas with acrylic

“Botanical Treasures” / 10″ x 20″ stretched canvas with acrylic

untitled / 6" x 6" wood panel with acrylic

Untitled / 6″ x 6″ wood panel with acrylic

pollinators / 8" x 10" wood panel with acrylic

“Pollinators” / 8″ x 10″ wood panel with acrylic

Little Cityscape

Posted Thursday, March 16th, 2017 @ 12:21 am by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature
east river / 5" x 7" canvas panel with acrylic

“East River” / 5″ x 7″ canvas panel with acrylic

And a bonus! This one will go to my mother, who was born in autumn.

colors of autumn / 4" x 5" stretched canvas with acrylic

“Colors of Autumn” / 4″ x 5″ stretched canvas with acrylic

Little Pieces

Posted Wednesday, March 15th, 2017 @ 12:27 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature

While I work on a larger canvas, sometimes I take time off from it to let my creative intuition develop. Yet there remains an urge to create. I bought some new paints and media to play with (Golden Clear Tar Gel, pouring medium, glaze, fluid acrylics). Here are three little pieces from recent days.

This first work is based on a photograph my cousin took. The light in the photo was so ephemeral, and I knew I wouldn’t capture that essence. So I went for a bolder look. My father grew up in Plattsburgh, NY, where the lake is. I sent this to him as a gift.

sunset on lake champlain/ 5" x 7" canvas board with acrylic

“Sunset on Lake Champlain” / 5″ x 7″ canvas panel with acrylic

My daughter often suggests names for my pieces, and sometimes I take them! This one is called Autumn Splat. This one is sold.

autumn splat / 5" x 7" canvas panel with acrylic - SOLD

“Autumn Splat” / 5″ x 7″ canvas panel with acrylic

Lastly, this piece! I’m always amazed what a few colors can do: two shades of green, yellow, burnt sienna, black, and white. This work is also sold.

little creek / 5" x 7" canvas panel with acrylic

“Little Creek” / 5″ x 7″ canvas panel with acrylic


Posted Saturday, March 4th, 2017 @ 11:40 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Aenigmas (My Poems), Buddhism, Journal, Nature

Late at night alone
I sit listening
to the tock tock tock
of raindrops dancing rooftop.

The patter of rain
drapes like a blanket
over night’s shoulders —
rhythmic murmured lullaby.

This moment, awake.
And this one. Now this.
This moment too, eternal.

droplets on web

Another Biggish Work

Posted Friday, March 3rd, 2017 @ 1:23 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Community, Regional

This is my second painting done on a larger canvas. A friend of mine bought a townhouse in the area, which is a big achievement out here in the almost-most expensive housing market on earth. I offered a painting as a housewarming gift. Gradually the ideas of a colorful life and the density and intensity of urban living came to life in this work.

"stained glass city" / 2' x 4' stretched linen canvas with acrylic paint

“Stained Glass City” / 24″ x 48″ stretched linen canvas with acrylic

Hazy Winter Moon

Posted Wednesday, March 1st, 2017 @ 11:47 am by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Buddhism, Journal, Nature

A small piece called Hazy Winter Moon, it’s 6″ x 6″ canvas panel with acrylic.

hazy winter moon / 6" x 6" stretched canvas with acrylic

“Hazy Winter Moon” / 6″ x 6″ stretched canvas with acrylic

February Winter Break

Posted Thursday, February 23rd, 2017 @ 9:53 am by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Motherhood, Nature

Some years, our family will “go to snow.” Last year there was none, so I took Claire to Los Angeles to look at dinosaurs. This year, despite there being plenty of snow, we didn’t get coordinated enough to go. We don’t ski, and there is only so much sledding one kid and two parents can enjoy. This has made for a quieter, somewhat duller break. Yesterday, Claire and I took a three mile walk in our neighborhood. She was very resistant at first, but after awhile and my gentle insistence, we discovered the joy of being outside. Her eye caught leaf impressions in a concrete sidewalk. We visited a small pond near our house. We played a game where she ran around and my task was to try to get a picture of her. We talked about friendships, and spiritual beliefs, and how to handle frustration. And we got silly. It was good medicine.

turtle pond in winter
sidewalk impressions
claire february 2017
claire february 2017

Reflections on Sesshin

Posted Monday, February 20th, 2017 @ 12:41 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Aenigmas (My Poems), Buddhism, Journal, Meditation, Spirit

Almost six years ago I sat my first sesshin at Hazy Moon Zen Center. I did not return, for many reasons and rationalizations. But when my teacher put a winter weekend sesshin on the calendar, I committed to come. It was wonderful sitting with so many people and creating community. These are some small reflections on my experience. A huge rainstorm visited LA, unusual and impressive for California, and a gesture from nature that we might be worthy of deliverance from drought.

Practice has become a priority. Six years will not pass before I sit sesshin again.

Rain strikes the city
like a kyosaku startling
dusty streets awake.

The rain converses
with the windows
while water gushing
through gutters holds
a debate with the sidewalk.

Nearly six whole years past
the rooster still crows at dawn
in downtown L.A.

I met my match
outwaited her impatience
wrestled her on the mat
until she cried
not my way, the Way
then bowed
and walked into the day.



Posted Friday, January 27th, 2017 @ 12:18 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal

I’ve learned I have some technical difficulties with comments here. I tried to fix the settings, but not all posts seem to allow comments without registering and logging in. No wonder I never seem to get comments any more! If you are participating in the Bloggy Bloggy swap, and the comments don’t work, please send your comments by private message on Swap-bot.

Women’s March San Jose

Posted Saturday, January 21st, 2017 @ 10:41 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Community, Journal, Regional

It’s late, and I’m exhausted. I volunteered as a Peace Ambassador at the San Jose march. The march was vibrant with loving and festive energy, creative and clever messages, and a wide diversity of people. About 25,000 activists attended. The Resistance has begun. At the end of the march were speeches, and there were many non-profit booths there. Because after the march comes the nitty gritty work.

Women's March - San Jose, CA - 2017

If my album doesn’t show above, here’s a link: Women’s March – San Jose

And here is a link to the attending and supporting organizations for the Bay Area marches. Scroll down for San Jose.

Latest Work

Posted Monday, January 9th, 2017 @ 12:10 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Motherhood, Nature, Spirit

For the last few weeks I have been working on a painting using a new type of canvas (to me) made of Belgian linen. It is incredibly smooth, and the paint glides on and blends beautifully. So I chose a palette and began to see what emerged. Two nights ago, I dreamt that I was pregnant. Most of the time I don’t recall dreams, so when I do, it has import. This dream felt so real. When I awoke, I was holding my stomach the way I did when I carried my daughter, feeling it taut and firm with life.

I finished the painting today. Sometimes when I paint I have an idea. Other times, as with this one, I start without an idea and work intuitively, without thinking and analyzing. Then I step back and see what I see.

This painting reflects a deep, intuitive exploration of the divine feminine within me and the earth. It makes me think of molten earth, the core of our existence. I also see a womb with an embryo, and an ovary, and the blood that makes the ground from which we arise.

I have gone through menopause in the past year, and now I am a crone. But while my physical body cannot create a human life anymore, I have graduated to creating life on a larger scale.

I want to thank my father for his recent gift that enabled me to purchase larger canvases!

praise her from whom all being flows / 24" x 36" acrylic on linen canvas

Praise Her From Whom All Being Flows / 24″ x 36″ acrylic paint on linen canvas

The Kind of Mystery

Posted Tuesday, December 27th, 2016 @ 10:45 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Meditation, Nature, Quotes

“This old Chippewa I know – he’s about seventy-five years old – said to me, “Did you know that there are people who don’t know that every tree is different from every other tree?” This amazed him. Or don’t know that a nation has a soul as well as a history, or that the ground has ghosts that stay in one area. All this is true, but why are people incapable of ascribing to the natural world the kind of mystery that they think they are somehow deserving of but have never reached?”

– Jim Harrison
the hammock papers

via WhiskeyRiver

Santa Revelations

Posted Saturday, December 24th, 2016 @ 10:23 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Motherhood, Spirit

We knew this day would come. We didn’t think it would be Christmas Eve. Claire began articulating suspicions a year ago. This year her friend in class has been arguing for weeks that Santa isn’t real. So, she began asking pointed questions. But she would ask the question and immediately follow with a rationale for why it couldn’t be us, before I could answer. Knowing it was coming, I cribbed this letter from someone else. Today she told her dad, “Please tell me, I really have to know.” So the letter was given, and we talked after. There can be a relief in knowing, even though there is sadness. (Possibly more for me than her!) Claire took it all in stride, with a maturity that I see evolving.

However, she says she still believes in the Easter Bunny (because she has the proof of a letter from him) and Tooth Fairy (because what parent would want to handle a bloody tooth, and keep them?), and that dragons are real.

Baby steps.

santa revelations

No Longer Believing in Santa

Mom Tells Son the Meaning of Santa