Husband returns to work today. It’s just me and Bean until the evening.<\/p>\n
I emailed some friends asking them to help out by visiting me a couple hours during the day in the next couple of weeks. It will give me company, or a break for a shower or something. Their response has been supportive. For this week, one person is coming over to visit each weekday. That’s comforting. <\/p>\n
Eeek! I’m on my own. It feels like I’m truly stepping into motherhood in a way I haven’t yet because someone else has always been around. Suddenly I’m in charge of the store. It’s all me. I feel a tad giddy.
\n—-
\nI must remember that when I hear about “normal” sleep routines for infants, they are talking about non-colicky children. Husband and I are gradually moving toward a going-to-sleep routine for her, but right now her sleep time is all over the clock. There is a kind of rhythm, but it shifts daily back and forth a bit (i.e., one morning she awakes at 5:45 hungry, another at 6:30). Her afternoons and evenings (until about 10 p.m.) are the worst. Lots of squalling interrupted by fitful catnaps in our arms. Sometimes she gives distinct hunger cues and we provide a bottle, only to see her take one ounce. But when your child is screaming and giving cues that look like hunger, and it’s been at least two hours since the last meal, what else to do? Dr. Spock’s book (given to me by a cousin) mentions that sometimes colicky babies can’t tell the difference between hunger pangs and stomach\/colic pain. Oy.<\/p>\n
(By the way, someone asked if I was breastfeeding. I started out trying and she got colostrum and a little milk. However, my milk never really came in despite putting her on my breast, using a Supplemental Nursing System, and pumping every two hours for many days. What little I had dried up; I never engorged, I never let down. Meanwhile we had to supplement with formula to keep her from starving; by day 12 after her birth, I made peace with this.)<\/p>\n
We did have a lovely day up until about 1:30 p.m. yesterday. She was quite cheerful, in fact. She also had some cheerful moments in the evening just shortly after eating her small meal, before remembering to fuss again.<\/p>\n
Well, it’s time for the Mommy show!<\/p>\n
All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.<\/p>\n
–Sean O’Casey<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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