{"id":1895,"date":"2007-03-21T22:53:17","date_gmt":"2007-03-22T05:53:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/2007\/03\/21\/for-the-sake-of-authenticity\/"},"modified":"2026-01-21T16:40:53","modified_gmt":"2026-01-22T00:40:53","slug":"for-the-sake-of-authenticity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/2007\/03\/21\/for-the-sake-of-authenticity\/","title":{"rendered":"For the Sake of Authenticity"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just in case I seem only an “inspiring” person who has most of her life together…<\/p>\n

I have a specific person in mind as I write this post. Laurel<\/a>, my dear, I write this to you (though all commenters are welcome). <\/p>\n

It’s been one year since I started playing with poetry again. One year since I approached writing poems with wonder, with confidence in my right to try and to have fun. It’s been almost one year since I immersed myself in the toxicity of that poetry forum (which shall remain unlinked here).<\/p>\n

Now, maybe I’m not writing as avidly as I did that first month because I’ve been busy. (Then again, I had plenty of energy when I began writing despite working a zillion hours a week. And I’ve not<\/em> been busy since October when my job ended, but the pen seems dry.) Maybe I’m not writing because, as is my fashion, I often begin endeavors with bright enthusiasm, then fade over time.<\/p>\n

There’s some truth in this, but there’s more. I’m lying to myself to deny it. The atmosphere of the forum: the snootiness, the stringent standards, the high academia, the ruthlessness of the moderators, and that encounter with the asshole wannabe guru — this silenced me. When I write a poem now, I choke. I hear the critic before I even capture an image and taste the words. I can’t hear the music in them now. Inspiration fled.<\/p>\n

No matter how much I try to comfort myself with Ted Kooser\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s encouragement<\/a>, I remain bound. <\/p>\n

Today, at the ocean, I managed to free myself a little. Perhaps it was the 25 mph wind. I wish I could return to the poem writer I was before encountering the forum. It’s a kind of innocence lost. And by venturing into the forum, I did it to myself.<\/p>\n

Even in middle age, I am still affected by others’ judgment of me. Not as much as when I was younger, certainly. There are some people whose judgment or opinion matters more and to whom I respond: Husband, family, close friends. But why, oh why, do the opinions of strangers, especially disembodied ones on the Internet, have any impact? Why the hell do I give them this power? The forum stressed that the criticism should not be taken personally, that it was critique of the work<\/em>. I understood this; I don’t feel I took it personally. But I did feel daunted by the focus on technicality. What keeps me from writing poetry is the desire to do it “right,” like a “serious” poet, but I get bogged down by the high standards of technique. Where’s the fun?<\/p>\n

More importantly, how will I get it back?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just in case I seem only an “inspiring” person who has most of her life together… I have a specific person in mind as I write this post. Laurel, my dear, I write this to you (though all commenters are welcome). It’s been one year since I started playing with poetry again. One year since […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,28,31,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-arts","category-humanities","category-social-science","category-technology"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1895"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11494,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1895\/revisions\/11494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}