{"id":10091,"date":"2020-03-20T08:44:57","date_gmt":"2020-03-20T15:44:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/?p=10091"},"modified":"2026-01-27T13:20:57","modified_gmt":"2026-01-27T21:20:57","slug":"mourning-my-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/2020\/03\/20\/mourning-my-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"Mourning My Mother"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"photopost\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/mindfulone\/48008357933\/in\/photolist-2g9koec-2eJxY3o-ZqjQV4-VdTBz5-VdTBCw-VdTBHm-nGXQ9R-dsNqUm-drWqHU-9ztzm2-9hBukV-9gj5RU-9dkBXB-5EoVYJ-6nwpa-4a5Z9j-ucozm-7mvWP-75zmz-4Ye9W\/\" title=\"bleeding heart\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/live.staticflickr.com\/65535\/48008357933_e559e569a5_w.jpg\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" alt=\"bleeding heart\"><\/a><script async src=\"\/\/embedr.flickr.com\/assets\/client-code.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/div>\n<p><center><strong>Bleeding hearts from my parents&#8217; garden<\/strong><\/center><br \/>\nDuring this school-at-home time, Bean and I decided that our science will be to re-watch <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Cosmos:_A_Spacetime_Odyssey\">Cosmos<\/a>, presented by Neil DeGrasse Tyson. She last saw it about six years ago. We watched the first episode, about the origin of the universe, and how we are star stuff. <\/p>\n<p>Mom loved knowledge. She loved learning things. She was curious. She loved the natural world and science. We often talked about the mystery of what we were before we were born, and what happens after we die. What were we? How do we become conscious? As I listened to Neil describe the marvelous scale of time, I cried. Just steady tears, not big crying. <\/p>\n<p>My teacher advised me to make a ritual, to follow the mourning practice of Zen Buddhist tradition (which is my practice). She recommended that I chant a sutra (doesn&#8217;t matter which one) every day for 7 days, and dedicate it each time to my mother, announcing her full name. Then to do this practice on the 14th, 21st, and 49th day of her death. I chose two: the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.zen-azi.org\/en\/book\/daihishin-dharani\">Daihishin Darani<\/a>, which is a Japanese chant to Kannon, the bodhisattva of compassion, and the Heart Sutra (below). <\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t typically light candles in the house, nor do I burn incense; the scent overwhelms other family members. But then I realized I have the perfect ritual. My daily cup of coffee. Mom loved black coffee, as do I. So I make my pour-over coffee, paying attention to each detail. I talk to Mom as it brews. Once it&#8217;s ready, I sit down with coffee and my chant book. I take a sip. Then I say, &#8220;I dedicate this sutra to Mary Catherine Nicklas Petro&#8221; and begin. I choke on the words as my throat thickens. But I do it, and I don&#8217;t think overly much about it. It&#8217;s not necessary to think. It&#8217;s perhaps even detrimental. The process brings a wisp of peace. <\/p>\n<p>I love you, Momma. I miss you.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>MAHA PRAJNA PARAMITA HEART SUTRA<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, doing deep prajna paramita,<br \/>\nClearly saw emptiness of all the five conditions,<br \/>\nThus completely relieving misfortune and pain,<br \/>\nO Shariputra, form is no other than emptiness,<br \/>\nemptiness is no other than form;<br \/>\nForm is exactly emptiness, emptiness exactly form;<br \/>\nSensation, conception, discrimination,<br \/>\nawareness are likewise like this.<br \/>\nO Shariputra, all dharmas are forms of emptiness,<br \/>\nnot born, not destroyed;<br \/>\nNot stained, not pure, without loss, without gain;<br \/>\nSo in emptiness there is no form, no sensation,<br \/>\nconception, discrimination, awareness;<br \/>\nNo eye, ear, nose, tongue, body, mind;<br \/>\nNo color, sound, smell, taste, touch, phenomena;<br \/>\nNo realm of sight . . . no realm of consciousness;<br \/>\nNo ignorance and no end to ignorance . . .<br \/>\nNo old age and death, and no end to old age and death;<br \/>\nNo suffering, no cause of suffering, no extinguishing, no path;<br \/>\nNo wisdom and no gain. No gain and thus<br \/>\nThe bodhisattva lives prajna paramita<br \/>\nWith no hindrance in the mind, no hindrance, therefore no fear,<br \/>\nFar beyond deluded thoughts, this is nirvana.<br \/>\nAll past, present, and future Buddhas live prajna paramita,<br \/>\nAnd therefore attain anuttara-samyak-sambodhi.<br \/>\nTherefore know, prajna paramita is<br \/>\nThe great mantra, the vivid mantra,<br \/>\nThe best mantra, the unsurpassable mantra;<br \/>\nIt completely clears all pain \u2014 this is the truth, not a lie.<br \/>\nSo set forth the Prajna Paramita Mantra,<br \/>\nSet forth this mantra and say:<\/p>\n<p>Gate! Gate! Paragate! Parasamgate!<br \/>\nBodhi svaha. Prajna Heart Sutra.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bleeding hearts from my parents&#8217; garden During this school-at-home time, Bean and I decided that our science will be to re-watch Cosmos, presented by Neil DeGrasse Tyson. She last saw it about six years ago. We watched the first episode, about the origin of the universe, and how we are star stuff. Mom loved knowledge. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[111,217,34,16,215,30,219],"tags":[244,224,140,69,152,141,233,231,207,246,245],"class_list":["post-10091","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-buddhism","category-meditation","category-motherhood","category-nature","category-poetry","category-quotes","category-spirit","tag-buddha","tag-buddhism","tag-death","tag-grief","tag-love","tag-mother","tag-mystery","tag-physics","tag-ritual","tag-science","tag-zen"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10091","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10091"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10091\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13460,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10091\/revisions\/13460"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10091"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10091"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kathrynpetroharper.com\/mindfullife\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10091"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}