Make It Spookyer

Posted Thursday, October 26th, 2017 @ 4:32 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Domestic Arts, Journal, Motherhood

My teacher, Maezen, wrote this piece about her daughter and herself in October 2007: Spooked. Claire was only five weeks old at the time. Maezen’s daughter was in second grade.

Ten years later, I could have written it. Tensions rise and our anxieties chafe like flint and stone, and seemingly out of nowhere we have a conflagration that resembles war. Parenting is hard and humbling. Thank goodness for apologies and forgiveness. Thank goodness for atonement, which is also at-one-ment.

Over the past weeks I keep hearing from Claire that we need to up our Halloween game, that our decorations are friendly and tame. She wants spooky decorations. She says she needs to face her fear.

Not having a lot of storage for decorations, I wanted to keep the additions on the small side. And didn’t want to spend the money. So we went to a thrift shop. We installed our pieces. We painted the ghost with red for blood. I think we’ve upped our game pretty well!

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The Months Blaze

Posted Tuesday, September 26th, 2017 @ 7:54 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature, Recreation

So many summer trips, summer camps, heatwaves, gardening; then school began, and here we are. I took the summer off painting. I recently returned to a few begun last spring and finished them. And I’ve made a couple new ones, as I experiment.

sentries / 12" x 36" acrylic on stretched canvas

Sentries / 12″ x 36″ acrylic on stretched canvas

hazy city / 10" x 20" acrylic on stretched canvas

Hazy City / 10″ x 20″ acrylic on stretched canvas

Windfall / 4" x 4" acrylic on canvas panel

Windfall / 4″ x 4″ acrylic on canvas panel

Rock Face / 4" x 4" acrylic on canvas panel

Rock Face / 8″ x 8″ acrylic on stretched canvas

The Leaf Beneath / 5" x 7" acrylic on canvas panel

The Leaf Beneath / 4″ x 6″ acrylic on canvas panel

The Wind Confides Secrets / 5" x 7" acrylic on canvas panel

The Wind Confides Secrets / 4″ x 6″ acrylic on canvas panel

secret garden / 6" x 6" acrylic on wood panel

Secret Garden / 6″ x 6″ acrylic on wood panel

Recognition

Posted Friday, June 16th, 2017 @ 9:40 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Buddhism, Journal, Nature, Science, Spirit

Last night, I stretched before bed, a routine which helps bring sleep when I make the effort. At the end I lay on my back in what is called “corpse pose” in yoga.

As I lay quietly, I imagined my heart stopping suddenly. My breath ceasing. My brain shutting down, and with that, all awareness evaporating. The “me” that existed just gone. No more Kathryn. No afterlife awareness as Kathryn.

What arose for me: we are expressions of the Life force. The creations Life makes are temporary. They change, disintegrate, and the constituent parts are reabsorbed. The matter and energy become the source again. There is no soul identified as Kathryn. There is no awareness of others. In this way we are eternal and infinite, because our parts merge again with Life. But the death of the body is the death of the personality.

And for whatever reason, for the first time, that felt all right. True. Not scary. Not sad.