I Am a Nasty Woman

Posted Thursday, October 20th, 2016 @ 4:02 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Community, Journal, Social Science

Donald Trump called Hillary Clinton “such a nasty woman” in the last debate, and with that, women rose up to embrace what he meant as an insult. In fact, calling her a “nasty woman” is just a shade cleaner and more acceptable than saying what he probably thought: cunt. When men feel viscerally threatened and rendered powerless by a woman they often resort to dismissing her by reducing her to that one body part.

If having agency over her life, speaking up, insisting on the right to take up space and be heard, asserting her rights as an equal, deciding that only she can make decisions about her health and body, and refusing to be defined by men’s expectations makes a woman nasty, then count me in. I am a nasty woman too.

I finished this painting just before the last debate. I called it The Alchemy of Feminine Wisdom. It is available for purchase. Just inquire.

the alchemy of feminine wisdom / 12" x 24" canvas with acrylic

The Alchemy of Feminine Wisdom / 12″ x 24″ canvas with acrylic

Autumn Love

Posted Monday, October 17th, 2016 @ 10:03 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature
"golden hour" / 18" x 24" canvas with acrylic

“Golden Hour” / 18″ x 24″ canvas with acrylic

“For these beings, fall is ever the normal season, the only weather, there be no choice beyond. Where do they come from? The dust. Where do they go? The grave. Does blood stir their veins? No: the night wind. What ticks in their head? The worm. What speaks from their mouth? The toad. What sees from their eye? The snake. What hears with their ear? The abyss between the stars. They sift the human storm for souls, eat the flesh of reason, fill tombs with sinners. They frenzy forth. Such are the autumn people.”

–Ray Bradbury

The Best Thing

Posted Tuesday, October 11th, 2016 @ 10:29 am by Kathryn
Categories: Education, Quotes

“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”

–T.H. White, The Once and Future King

I’m With Her

Posted Monday, October 10th, 2016 @ 10:01 am by Kathryn
Categories: Community, Humanities, Journal, Social Science

I don’t post about politics. But this election is critical.

Here is a list: Hillary Clinton’s Record of Accomplishments.

Another record of Hillary Clinton’s accomplishments.

Trump is: a narcissist, pathological liar, sexual predator, sexist, and a sociopath.

Characteristics of a sociopath:

  • Glibness and superficial charm
  • Shallow emotions
  • Grandiose sense of self
  • Pathological lying
  • Manipulative and conning
  • Lack of empathy/callousness
  • Impulsive nature
  • Promiscuous sexuality
  • Contemptuous of others
  • Authoritarian
  • Has an emotional need to justify their bad actions
  • Unable to feel remorse or guilt
  • Desire for despotic control

Hillary Clinton should be our next president.

Recent Art

Posted Tuesday, October 4th, 2016 @ 1:39 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts

Two other pieces.

chaos / 5" x 7" canvas with acrylic

“Chaos” / 5″x7″ canvas with acrylic
– SOLD

bubbling up / 12" x 24" canvas with acrylic

“Bubbling Up” / 12″ x 24″ canvas with acrylic

More Please

Posted Saturday, October 1st, 2016 @ 11:28 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Nature

I haven’t been this content in ages.

"lakeside" / 12" x 16" canvas with acrylic

“Lakeside” / 12″ x 16″ canvas with acrylic

One More

Posted Saturday, October 1st, 2016 @ 5:24 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Nature

I’ve been painting since 10 a.m., and it’s 5:30 p.m. I’m starving and tired. But I’ve been so, so content.

untitled / 16" x 20" canvas with acrylic

“Twilight” / 16″ x 20″ canvas with acrylic – SOLD

More Art

Posted Saturday, October 1st, 2016 @ 1:59 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Nature

In the beginning, the Creator laid out butcher paper and secured it to the floor with masking tape. She assembled all her materials.

art beginning

Then she proceeded to wet her paintbrushes and play. She felt peace and joy and forgot about thinking.

art in process

After awhile she finished one piece and stepped back to look at it. And the Creator saw it was good.

"birds on a wire" / 14" x 16" acrylic on canvas

“Birds on a Wire” / 14″ x 16″ acrylic on canvas

Latest Work

Posted Friday, September 30th, 2016 @ 3:56 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Arts, Journal, Nature

About a year ago I began some paintings and put them aside. I returned to the canvas last week, and what I started didn’t spark me, so I painted over it. The other piece I just did today. The interesting thing is when I started painting it last night it didn’t look anywhere near how it ended up. And there was a point this morning where I hated it; I seriously thought about ditching the board. I felt so uncomfortable as I created. What helped was to walk away, do other things, and come back. Then I felt friendlier to the piece and new ideas came. I did this several times, and I like the result. Sometimes making stuff can be scary and hard and yet so rewarding.

moonstones / 12" x 24" acrylic on canvas

“Moonstones” / 12″ x 24″ canvas with acrylic

"autumn" / 8 x 10" canvas board with acrylic

“Autumn” / 8″ x 10″ canvas board with acrylic

Eminence

Posted Saturday, August 6th, 2016 @ 6:42 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Nature, Quotes, Spirit
view from going the sun road

Glacier National Park

“As long as I live, I’ll hear waterfalls and birds and winds sing. I’ll interpret the rocks, learn the language of flood, storm, and the avalanche. I’ll acquaint myself with the glaciers and wild gardens, and get as near the heart of the world as I can.”

–John Muir

A Loyal Companion

Posted Thursday, August 4th, 2016 @ 10:15 am by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Nature, Quotes, Spirit
good morning moon

Glacier National Park, St. Mary Campground

The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”

–Tahereh Mafi

Such a Long Dry Spell

Posted Tuesday, August 2nd, 2016 @ 2:01 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Technology

My last post in May focused on a medical issue. That abated, and I was again aware that it is possible to make much ado about nothing.

School ended, camping began, summer camps and swim lessons happened. And now we are two weeks away from the new school year.

In an effort to extricate myself from the tentacles of Facebook, before our recent camping trip I decided to limit my use of it to one hour daily after Claire is in bed. Then we went off the grid for almost three weeks. I plan to come here and plunk out thoughts. Maybe share some photos from camping and of my artwork (if I make any).

meandclaireglacier

Visual Comprehension and Justification

Posted Saturday, May 14th, 2016 @ 10:26 am by Kathryn
Categories: Education, Journal, Nature, Science

The MRI indicated a lesion worth a deeper look. The tech marked my breast in one room using an ultrasound machine that was new. When the radiologist attempted to locate it in the biopsy room, she spent a half an hour trying to find the exact location of the suspicious lesion. At one point I murmured, “So much flesh…” and she gently said, “No. This machine isn’t as new or as good as the one in the other room.” As time passed, though, I began to feel self-conscious and uncertain. I mean, if it’s so hard to find, should I even be there at all? The equipment, time, and expertise cost a great deal of money. If it’s so small, maybe I’m wasting all that. Just because they can see something on the MRI doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a big deal. I said something about this, and the doctor assured me (as of course she would) that certainly it’s worth looking at. She also said that yes, the highly sensitive machines and tests sometimes can find something that turns up benign, but that to be sure is better. Still, I had this feeling of wasting resources. What helped me feel like further testing is justified was a) that the doctor said if it were her breast, she’d pursue it and b) once she knew I’ve had atypical hyperplasia before she was adamant I do it (an MRI breast biopsy).

Yet sometimes it helps to actually measure something and compare. The suspicious lesion is 6 x 8 x 4 millimeters. So I went through my art supplies and found something that fits those dimensions. Then I compared this to a dime (see picture). The visual impact was persuasive. While this is not a huge lump, it is not microscopic either. It is not small, when one considers the breast. It is real, and it wasn’t there a year ago. I spent a few hours reading up on breast cancer and radiology terms. If I wasn’t convinced before that this is worth taking seriously, I am now. And yes, if it’s benign, it’s still worth checking.

The point of having this technology and being identified as high risk (42.5% lifetime chance) is to stay on top of changes so they don’t become big lumps, by which time the diagnosis is invasive cancer and/or possible metastasis requiring mastectomy, lymph node dissection, chemotherapy, and radiation. The point is that if caught early, prognosis is excellent. It’s far more costly (to insurance and to me) to wait for a lump to become palpable and treat it.

Intellectually I know that I am worth time, attention, and resources. Yet it was showing myself the physical dimensions of this lesion that settled it.

In 2011, I had a lesion that required surgical biopsy. It was 5 mm (don’t know all dimensions), and they ended up taking a not-small chunk of my breast with it. The pathology report indicated atypical ductal hyperplasia — meaning that abnormally shaped cells were reproducing at a faster than normal rate in my milk duct. It was precancerous, and thus major trouble was nipped in the bud. So yes, this suspicious lesion found by the MRI (but not a mammogram) merits a closer look.

size comparison

Body Project

Posted Friday, April 29th, 2016 @ 10:46 am by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Meditation, Spirit

I’ve been involved in my body project for 13 weeks now. Eventually I will stop counting weeks, because it will simply have become a way of living. Until I reach my goal, however, there is value for me in counting. So: in 13 weeks, I have shed 19.2 pounds and 12.25 inches. I now fit into pants that are 1.5 sizes smaller (from ##W to Misses ##). The last couple of weeks were a wash because I was sick and then stopped being attentive about what I ate. But I feel SO much better than when I started, and I will continue on this journey. It relates to much more than weight. It relates to how I want to live — how fully, how bravely, how intimately within this body and soul, with the universe.

Evolution of Spirit

Posted Thursday, April 28th, 2016 @ 11:16 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Quotes, Spirit

So an interesting thing happened for me after Prince died. A memory was sparked of a friendship at that time in my life. I had not thought of this friend in about 30 years. We were in high school, had crushes on each other, were deeply religious and got to know each other in this context. In my early 20s my identity was developing, as was his, and we kept each other company.

Prince blurred gender lines; he was gorgeous to behold, and he was unapologetically sensual. His music connected with a raw, hedonic part of me. At the same time, he blended in spirituality and love, a yearning for majesty and wonder, and this intrigued me. His music was the soundtrack of my life. The 80s were an exciting and scary time to live openly in any non-hetero way (LGBTQ). Yet that was how I lived; my integrity required it.

Lately I am exploring aspects of my identity, intimacy, sexuality, and spirituality. All this is percolating again; I did some searching, and found this old friend. I am hoping to reconnect. For what reason? Who knows? I only know that the spirit nudged me; I felt moved to look for him. As I live, I am waking up, learning to pay attention. I listen to what is true in me, take the next action, and listen some more.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

— Rainer Maria Rilke

Here’s the link in case the video doesn’t play here: Prince – The Truth