Posted Friday, May 17th, 2019 @ 6:31 pm by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Nature, Quotes, Spirit

“Butterflies are self propelled flowers.”

–Robert A. Heinlein

Lassen-Crater Lake-Oregon Caves-Jed Smith 2017
Lassen-Crater Lake-Oregon Caves-Jed Smith 2017
butterfly closer

Shame-Based Family

Posted Thursday, May 16th, 2019 @ 8:56 am by Kathryn
Categories: Journal, Quotes, Social Science

“If our primary caregivers are shame-based, they will act shameless and pass their toxic shame onto us. There is no way to teach self-value if one does not value oneself. Toxic shame is multigenerational. It is passed from one generation to the next. Shame-based people find other shame-based people and get married. As each member of a couple carries the shame from his or her own family system, their marriage will be grounded in their shame-core. The major outcome of this will be a lack of intimacy. It’s difficult to let someone get close to you if you feel defective and flawed as a human being. Shame-based couples maintain nonintimacy through poor communication, nonproductive circular fighting, games, manipulation, vying for control, withdrawal, blaming and confluence. Confluence is the agreement never to disagree. Confluence creates pseudointimacy.”

–John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

The Job of Parents

Posted Wednesday, May 15th, 2019 @ 8:48 am by Kathryn
Categories: Education, Journal, Motherhood, Quotes

“The job of parents is to model. Modeling includes how to be a man or woman; how to relate intimately to another person; how to acknowledge and express emotions; how to fight fairly; how to have physical, emotional and intellectual boundaries; how to communicate; how to cope and survive life’s unending problems; how to be self-disciplined; and how to love oneself and another. Shame-based parents cannot do any of these. They simply don’t know how.”

–John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You