Radio Silence

Throughout my life, writing has been a cherished expression for me. At one point I even felt that writing was as important as breathing. I so urgently wanted to tell my story about where I came from, what was done to me, what had happened in my life. I wanted to share tidbits, information, inspiration, resources. It was a form of therapy, a creative outlet, and a way to connect intimately with others (even when those others were anonymous).

I’ve noticed since becoming a mother I have written less. No, I take that back. For the first two years of Claire’s life, I wrote about her. Then I decided to reign that in, since she is developing greater agency over her life. Lately, blogging about my life strikes me as an incredibly narcissistic activity; it always has been, but at one point I actually thought it had value. Increasingly, though, I see that my vignettes, reflections, and insights are not original, and I’m not certain that writing them (here or in a paper journal) effects anything beneficial. I don’t seem to need to do it anymore. So this blog has become a place to link to resources related to my current activity (parenting) and the occasional photo or movie of Claire. This morning I realized there are usually three factors that cause my writing silence; any one of these can be cause for me to abandon writing for while:

  1. I am very busy with daily activities (such as when I worked and went to school, both full-time).
  2. I am content with my life.
  3. I feel that to write is to express nothing unique or new, and to blog is just adding another voice to the cacophony of Twitterers, bloggers, Facebookers (of which I’m an avid user) and other sundry voices.

As it happens, all of these factors are true at the moment. Hence, my sporadic posts.

I’ve been reading voraciously this year. Some years I barely touch fiction, other years I devour it. This is a fiction year. Yet I’ve also been immersed in a number of existential books by Eckhart Tolle, and most recently I’ve been soaking in Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life.

At this point, I’ll keep living as usual. There’s a season for all things, and the writing season will probably come ’round again.

Explore posts in the same categories: Buddhism, Community, Education, Journal, Meditation, Motherhood, Recreation

One Comment on “Radio Silence”

  1. Angela, Australia Says:

    I realise I am not a ‘frequent’ commenter, but I enjoy your blog. But it is your blog, write what you want / need to, and if you don’t mind I will keep looking and reading.