A Mindful Life

Three fresh Pixie photos up at Flickr. She was three weeks old yesterday!
We had dinner with our friends, whom we have decided to designate as Emergency Backup Parents instead of godparents. We realize it’s a bulkier term to say, but we enjoy the cute humor (if you’ve ever read Dave Barry you will appreciate it), [...]

Coffee, computer, cat, & kid (no order of importance implied). Pixie comfortably asleep in my arm. Bed head, grungy clothes. Messy desk in the office/art room. All is bathed in sunlight.

Action feels good to me. I realize control of externals (the world, other people) is an illusion, but I can direct my own intentions and behavior.
Friday morning I awoke after admittedly too little sleep, still feeling on the verge of tears, but also feeling less hopeless. (Please note: I think there’s a difference between feeling [...]

I thought I was doing well. I thought that knowing about PPD meant it wouldn’t happen to me. I even felt a little smug about this. I thought the fact that my depression is in remission and managed with medication meant I was immune.
But since Claire caught a cold (increased need, fussing, major screaming, increasingly [...]

More Claire photos up at Flickr…
I suppose the novelty of this wears off at some point. But she changes so much so quickly! At her doctor visit on Monday, she weighed 7 lbs., 15 oz. and had grown half an inch since birth. By now I’ll bet she’s over 8 pounds. It certainly feels that [...]

It begins already: the doubt, the questioning whether I am doing something wrong, the anxiety.
They say that it’s important to help one’s baby learn to fall asleep on her own. They say to put children in bed when they are still awake, and they will learn to self-soothe into sleep and more quickly sleep through [...]

Don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.
–Gallagher

This post has been updated.
More Claire photos are up for friends and family at Flickr.
My life is managed now in small chunks of time.
5:00 a.m.: Claire awakes and I feed her.
6:00 a.m.: Done feeding, change the diaper, have a little interaction, try to let her sleep again. Use the secret weapon if needed, so I [...]

Update: The title of this post has been changed from Dispatch #1 From Motherland at the suggestion of my sister-in-law, L. Excellent idea, my dear!
Things I have learned:

I’m still not ready to visit via phone (I can’t believe I’m so loved by so many), so it’s not personal and I’m not ignoring you. I am [...]

A few more photos of Claire are up at Flickr. The light’s been low (autumn coming) so they seem a bit grainy. Grandma has a much better camera and will share her photos later.
You don’t see any photos of me and the baby because, except for feeding attempts (which because of the supplemental nursing system [...]